Sir,

Your biggest challenge with the housing is that you legally cant kick her out of her home.
If she called the police, they would force you to let her in.

Now, she may not be aware of her rights. Let's hope she's not aware.

Did she check herself out?
If so she probably called OM to come pick her up.

I am starting to feel the same way, which was why I am prepared to not let her back home til she finishes her commitment. You're giving me doubts though about what I should do!

Actually, Dr. Harley addressed calling the police on a drunk driving spouse on the radio show a few months ago. It may have involved a poster here, I cant remember.
The husband had called the police and his wife was arrested for drunk driving.
Now, Harley said the man should NOT have done it because it was a huge love buster and that the husband is not to assume the role of a police officer.

Understand - unless her name is not on the title, right? Or, because we are married, it doesn't matter?

She signed the papers to check out, but she can't get her possessions until 24 hours have passed, which is around 10:30 am Thursday.

She can't call OM - doesn't have his contact info. But I believe that fear is one of the reasons I made dumb decisions about her drinking for so long. I can't control her drinking or trying to get back with him without her making a decision to put her life and our marriage above those addictions.

If she drinks again, you get her committed against her will. And you need to tell her this. She needs to know NOW that she will never drink again and live with you.

Do you have the list of AA meetings? Are you prepared to do this?


Your wife is not a fit parent. Until she sobers up she can't be trusted to watch your dog.


You are joking, right? The reason that most alcoholics stop drinking is because some caring person, a judge, employer, spouse held a gun to her head.

The ONLY reason I sobered up and stayed that way [long enough to want it myself] is because my XH told me I would be kicked out and not be able to see my kids if I EVER DRANK AGAIN. It has worked so far for 29 years!!

Personally, I would file for divorce and seek full custody of the children.
But, it's not my life and a decision only you can make.

Sir, you THINK she doesnt have his contact info!
That's another attempt to control the situation. You have no way of knowing if she has his contact info or not.

I was in communication with Dr Harley TODAY and he agreed that Ksummit should call the police on her if she goes drunk driving. He was disappointed that he protected her from being arrested last week.

Are we on board here? Did you have any questions?

Is there alcohol in your house?

Rubbing alcohol and GermX - nothing consumable though.

ok, thanks. Have you discussed the antabuse with your wife? Is she drunk yet?

This includes no mouthwash, cooking wine, vanilla syrup for coffee, cold syrup etc.

My MIL would also take a bottle of any OTC medicine she could get her hands on. Do you need to get rid of pills too?

Though you may be right, why would she be so vehement to get OM contact info from her friend, angry when friend didn't pass to wife and deleted info, try to break into her old email, angry when I deleted the OM email info, and then go look for OM one night at his bar, writing a love note saying she wished she had his # memorized, and sad she can't contact him. I can't prove anything without being God, but all the hard evidence I have collected and keep tabs on makes me believe that they have had no direct contact since mid-June.

That doesn't make it any better that she was TRYING to contact him recently, and part of my resolve for her to finish her commitment.

Aren't the extraordinary precautions controls to ensure an affair is not incubated/hidden? We haven't gotten very far because of the alcoholism, but there is a marked difference when my wife was in contact with OM and when she has not been in contact with OM.

NyQuil needs to go - good point. I already keep the pills hidden, as when she would drink, she had times where she would take too many of something.

No, she's still in the rehab - til at least 10:15-10:30 tomorrow. They have a 24 hour cooling off period before they release her belongings. She could leave now, but would only have what she was wearing and whatever she had in her room, no luggage, money, or cell phone.

And, the rehab is 7 miles from a small town that is about 45 minutes from a major city in Texas... but many hours from our city. She won't make it home quickly without me getting her, or her figuring out how to make it to the airport and buy a ticket. The rehab does not offer rides if a patient checks out AMA.

Out of curiosity, since these are all private clinics are you paying for these?
My MIL would apply for grants to go to them (she refused to go to AA), because she had no means to pay by herself.

I see. I didn't realize she was not home. How does she plan to get home?

Not sure... part of me thinks the whole thing is a bluff. But, she is very impulsive and doesn't think things through, so I wouldn't be surprised if she follows through and sits on the side of a rural Texas highway just as a protest.

If I leave the one credit card active, she could get a ride to an airport and buy a ticket.

Insurance covers it - after I had to pay a huge portion of the first couple stays. We are at out-of-pocket max for the year, but the financial damage has already been done.

OM convinced her that AA was garbage, and that she could "drink moderately". She spouted this until about mid-July. OM did not drink moderately - bragged several times to her that he could have 20 shots without major ordeal.