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She went to our doctor the next morning and admitted about the drinking and asked if she could safely detox at home. The doctor gave her detox drugs, and we tried that night, and it worked. What was the drug your doctor prescribed her? Was it antabuse?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Out of curiosity, since these are all private clinics are you paying for these?
My MIL would apply for grants to go to them (she refused to go to AA), because she had no means to pay by herself. Insurance covers it - after I had to pay a huge portion of the first couple stays. We are at out-of-pocket max for the year, but the financial damage has already been done. OM convinced her that AA was garbage, and that she could "drink moderately". She spouted this until about mid-July. OM did not drink moderately - bragged several times to her that he could have 20 shots without major ordeal.That's nice. A real good quality for him to brag about.
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She went to our doctor the next morning and admitted about the drinking and asked if she could safely detox at home. The doctor gave her detox drugs, and we tried that night, and it worked. What was the drug your doctor prescribed her? Was it antabuse? No, the detox drug was adavan/valium. But, apparently it wasn't as much as my wife "wanted". It's more of a substitute while the alcoholic gets the alcohol out of their system. Antabuse creates unpleasant affects when one drinks, correct?
BS - Me, 39
WW - Her, 40
DDay - May 14, 2014
4 kids
Married 17 years
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OM convinced her that AA was garbage, and that she could "drink moderately". She spouted this until about mid-July. OM did not drink moderately - bragged several times to her that he could have 20 shots without major ordeal. That's nice. A real good quality for him to brag about. Amazingly, it seemed to be one of his better qualities. 
BS - Me, 39
WW - Her, 40
DDay - May 14, 2014
4 kids
Married 17 years
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She went to our doctor the next morning and admitted about the drinking and asked if she could safely detox at home. The doctor gave her detox drugs, and we tried that night, and it worked. What was the drug your doctor prescribed her? Was it antabuse? No, the detox drug was adavan/valium. But, apparently it wasn't as much as my wife "wanted". It's more of a substitute while the alcoholic gets the alcohol out of their system. Antabuse creates unpleasant affects when one drinks, correct? Yes and that's why you need to administer it to her and make sure it's in liquid form and not pills. If it's in pill form she can act like she took it and spit it out.
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Joined: Apr 2001
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She went to our doctor the next morning and admitted about the drinking and asked if she could safely detox at home. The doctor gave her detox drugs, and we tried that night, and it worked. What was the drug your doctor prescribed her? Was it antabuse? No, the detox drug was adavan/valium. But, apparently it wasn't as much as my wife "wanted". It's more of a substitute while the alcoholic gets the alcohol out of their system. Antabuse creates unpleasant affects when one drinks, correct? Antabuse makes one deathly ill when they drink! It comes in liquid form and you can give it to her every morning. Can you call her doctor today and get this?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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OM convinced her that AA was garbage, and that she could "drink moderately". She spouted this until about mid-July. OM did not drink moderately - bragged several times to her that he could have 20 shots without major ordeal. That's nice. A real good quality for him to brag about. Amazingly, it seemed to be one of his better qualities. What a stud! 
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I was in communication with Dr Harley TODAY and he agreed that Ksummit should call the police on her if she goes drunk driving. He was disappointed that he protected her from being arrested last week. Is there a difference between what I did (play interference with police when questioning her) vs actively calling when she drives? She had never done this before the past 2 weeks, always very aware that it was not something that was safe.
BS - Me, 39
WW - Her, 40
DDay - May 14, 2014
4 kids
Married 17 years
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Antabuse makes one deathly ill when they drink! It comes in liquid form and you can give it to her every morning.
Can you call her doctor today and get this? I put it on my calendar for after my first morning meeting!
BS - Me, 39
WW - Her, 40
DDay - May 14, 2014
4 kids
Married 17 years
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Called the doctor who had prescribed the detox drugs. Told the nurse that approach failed. Told her wife has been in rehab for 8 days, but has signed to be released AMA, and I want to be prepared with antabuse if she knocks on my door. Waiting for a call back from the doctor if she is willing to prescribe.
BS - Me, 39
WW - Her, 40
DDay - May 14, 2014
4 kids
Married 17 years
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Joined: Apr 2001
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I was in communication with Dr Harley TODAY and he agreed that Ksummit should call the police on her if she goes drunk driving. He was disappointed that he protected her from being arrested last week. Is there a difference between what I did (play interference with police when questioning her) vs actively calling when she drives? She had never done this before the past 2 weeks, always very aware that it was not something that was safe. And she is so safety conscious and has such great judgement!  you should call the police on her if she goes drunk driving.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Called the doctor who had prescribed the detox drugs. Told the nurse that approach failed. Told her wife has been in rehab for 8 days, but has signed to be released AMA, and I want to be prepared with antabuse if she knocks on my door. Waiting for a call back from the doctor if she is willing to prescribe. Doctor is very open to prescribing antabuse for my wife, but wants her to come in to fully understand what the effects are if she does drink while taking it. I told them, no problem - I am going to be honest with her about it, but it will be a requirement if she comes knocking at my door.
BS - Me, 39
WW - Her, 40
DDay - May 14, 2014
4 kids
Married 17 years
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And she is so safety conscious and has such great judgement! you should call the police on her if she goes drunk driving. Gotcha - I wasn't trying to say that she has her head on straight... only that it never happened before the extreme craziness set in for the past couple weeks.
BS - Me, 39
WW - Her, 40
DDay - May 14, 2014
4 kids
Married 17 years
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Personally, I would file for divorce and seek full custody of the children.
But, it's not my life and a decision only you can make. x 2 If that doesn't motivate her to stop drinking, nothing will. Welcome to MB. Sorry you find yourself here. Jedi asked if you had spoken to an attorney yet and I did not see an answer? Have you? Do you live in TX?
BW - me
exWH - serial cheater
2 awesome kids
Divorced 12/2011
Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.
We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
--------Eleanor Roosevelt
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Called the doctor who had prescribed the detox drugs. Told the nurse that approach failed. Told her wife has been in rehab for 8 days, but has signed to be released AMA, and I want to be prepared with antabuse if she knocks on my door. Waiting for a call back from the doctor if she is willing to prescribe. Doctor is very open to prescribing antabuse for my wife, but wants her to come in to fully understand what the effects are if she does drink while taking it. I told them, no problem - I am going to be honest with her about it, but it will be a requirement if she comes knocking at my door. Did you get the prescription? Have you spoken to your wife? What is going on now? And I very much agree you need to file for divorce. You don't want your wife to file on you first and get you kicked out of the house. I don't think she will ever sober up so you need to prepare for that eventuality.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I was in communication with Dr Harley TODAY and he agreed that Ksummit should call the police on her if she goes drunk driving. He was disappointed that he protected her from being arrested last week. Is there a difference between what I did (play interference with police when questioning her) vs actively calling when she drives? She had never done this before the past 2 weeks, always very aware that it was not something that was safe. Alcoholism is a progressive disease.
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Alcoholism is a progressive disease. Yes - I've observed that.
BS - Me, 39
WW - Her, 40
DDay - May 14, 2014
4 kids
Married 17 years
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Joined: Aug 2014
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Did you get the prescription? Have you spoken to your wife? What is going on now?
And I very much agree you need to file for divorce. You don't want your wife to file on you first and get you kicked out of the house. I don't think she will ever sober up so you need to prepare for that eventuality. No, I don't have the prescription yet, since it needs to be prescribed to my wife, and doctor wants to meet her first.
BS - Me, 39
WW - Her, 40
DDay - May 14, 2014
4 kids
Married 17 years
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Update - it took me most of the day to get a hold of the rehab counselor - I left messages every hour starting at 8:00, and finally got a hold of the counselor at 1:15 pm. She told me my wife was onsite, and that was all she could confirm. Later, my wife called me and apologized for the drama. She said after we had talked last and I had held to my convictions, she hung up feeling hurt and abandoned. She said she spent a lot of the night praying, and felt that it was revealed to her that I was doing exactly what I should be doing, and showing her great love, not abandonment.  First thing this morning, she revoked her request to check out, and began attending all the group sessions. She says she knows that the physical detox was just the first step - now she needs the spiritual/behavioral shift so she can get used to life sober and maintain her sobriety. We didn't get to talk a long time, but this is the first time she has sounded peaceful and focused on getting better since the beginning of the year. OF COURSE, I have paper-thin hope, and am still preparing for a shift in tone, or to hear from the rehab that she's checking out again, or find her at my door, etc. I have gotten a family lawyer contact from a friend who was divorced. I left a message yesterday asking for a consultation, and haven't received a call back yet. What you're recommending is getting on the ball and filing as a way to ensure my terms and set a potential wake-up call? Obviously, if things don't improve, then work to get it completed.
BS - Me, 39
WW - Her, 40
DDay - May 14, 2014
4 kids
Married 17 years
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How many more days until she hits 28?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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