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#2819555 09/15/14 06:23 PM
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 1
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Zosimus Offline OP
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Posts: 1
I'm unhappy and venting. Bear with me...

I'm a 41-year-old American-born expat living in Peru. I've been married for almost 9 years now, and I'm quite dissatisfied with my marriage. We have two children.

Problems:

1. Work schedule. I teach classes starting at 6:30 A.M. and my last class ends at 10:30 P.M. I rarely see my wife, and when I do, we usually just exchange a few words and fall into bed. I work Saturdays too. On Sunday she just wants to sleep in or watch TV.
2. Lack of sleep. I'm always tired, and when I get home I often have trouble falling asleep right away. Sometimes my wife will hit me up for sex. If I say no, she feels rejected. If I say yes, I am more tired the next day.
3. Sexual dysfunction. Testosterone is made while you sleep, and I rarely sleep enough. I have difficulty getting it up. My wife interprets that as lack of sexual desirability on her part and asks me whether I have someone else. I take 3 grams of maca a day and it helps... somewhat.
4. Money. My wife spends more than I am comfortable with. She has little self-control in this regard and no budgeting skills. I give her S/.20 a day, and she earns (theoretically) S/.1,000 a month. That provides her with S/.1,600 a month, an amount that is more than double the minimum wage in Peru. I pay all the costs of the house (rent, cable, Internet, water, gas, electricity). I don't understand why she can't live on double the minimum wage if she lives rent free. On the weekends she often asks me to buy groceries at the store. I often spend S/.200-300 there. Why can't she contribute more? Recently she has requested that I pay our son's tuition at school. She works there, so supposedly he should get free tuition. She says it's only half. She apparently can't pay it, so I have to pay it. She always gives me the card late. There's a late fee. She's unhappy at her job. She wants to quit and wants me to set up a small business for her so that she can work there.
5. Bisexuality. My wife says that she thinks I don't listen to her. She wants a girlfriend who will listen to her and understand her better. While it's titillating, it's also stressful. I have told her that she can go to discos in search of one. She fears that if she finds a girlfriend that I'll find one too. She thinks that would be unfair. She wants me to find a boyfriend. I'm not interested.
6. Sex. When we have sex, I make sure she has a great time. I provide oral sex. When she's done having a good time, she expects me to get off with her.

**edit**


7. Counseling. We separated in April 2013 and got back together in May 2014. I was pushing for her to get better at managing money and for us to see a psychologist. She didn't do either. Finally after a year I had found someone else. When the other woman (Ysabel) pushed me to reveal this to my wife, I did. She had a panic attack and then started actually going to a psychologist (I paid for it). I agreed to try again and we got back together in May. She stopped going to the psychologist as soon as we moved back in together. She's very insecure about Ysabel.
8. Ysabel. After my wife confronted her on the phone and threatened to tell everyone that she was a home wrecker, Ysabel stayed away for awhile, but now she comes around a few times a week. I like Ysabel. Ysabel wants the relationship to progress to sex. It sounds like it might be fun, but I know I can't get it up. I spend a lot more time with Ysabel than I do with my wife. Periodically Ysabel asks me whether I love my wife or what kind of future we might have together. I tell her that I do love my wife and that we have no future together. She gets in a huff and leaves for awhile. I haven't seen Ysabel since last Wednesday. She's in a huff... she'll be back in a week or two.

Last edited by Denali; 09/15/14 06:34 PM. Reason: TOS needlessly graphic
Zosimus #2819559 09/15/14 06:37 PM
Joined: Apr 2001
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You are coming on a marriage forum for what? To get help for your open, adulterous marriage? crazy


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


MelodyLane #2820115 09/18/14 04:44 PM
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,650
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This must be a joke. Nobody could live like this and expect other people to take them seriously.

Issues:

You prioritise your career over your wife

You prioritise your money over wife. Stealing joint marital funds and calling them 'yours'.

You care so little that when she discusses cheating on you - you call it 'titilating' (This is unspeakably vile - there are men here who would do anything to protect their wives fidelity)

You prioritise some mistress over your marriage.

Why even be married? Just be single and whore around.

So there you go Mr Joker. You posted a fake, unbelievable story as bait and it was so repulsive that I bit.


What would you do if you were not afraid?

"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.

indiegirl #2820141 09/18/14 07:27 PM
Joined: Jun 2014
Posts: 116
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Wow,
If this was made up, someone has way too much time on their hands.
My wife's affairs made me loose so much faith in humanity.

I mean I never thought that there could be 3 scum of the earth dudes who would be willing to sleep with another mans wife, much less mine over the course of about 2 years. (Well I would have suppose it could be possible but never thought it would happen to me.)

Anyway I guess my point is, if people would stoop to that level, I guess someone could start a fake thread in this manner.

Zosimus #2820149 09/18/14 09:29 PM
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239
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Sir,
Please see my responses to your questions posted in red and click on the links for articles by Dr. Willard Harley addressing your question:


Originally Posted By: Zosimus
I'm unhappy and venting. Bear with me...

I'm a 41-year-old American-born expat living in Peru. I've been married for almost 9 years now, and I'm quite dissatisfied with my marriage. We have two children.



Please read article: http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8112_care.html

Originally Posted By: Zosimus


Problems:

1. Work schedule. I teach classes starting at 6:30 A.M. and my last class ends at 10:30 P.M. I rarely see my wife, and when I do, we usually just exchange a few words and fall into bed. I work Saturdays too. On Sunday she just wants to sleep in or watch TV.
2. Lack of sleep. I'm always tired, and when I get home I often have trouble falling asleep right away. Sometimes my wife will hit me up for sex. If I say no, she feels rejected. If I say yes, I am more tired the next day.
3. Sexual dysfunction. Testosterone is made while you sleep, and I rarely sleep enough. I have difficulty getting it up. My wife interprets that as lack of sexual desirability on her part and asks me whether I have someone else. I take 3 grams of maca a day and it helps... somewhat.
4. Money. My wife spends more than I am comfortable with. She has little self-control in this regard and no budgeting skills. I give her S/.20 a day, and she earns (theoretically) S/.1,000 a month. That provides her with S/.1,600 a month, an amount that is more than double the minimum wage in Peru. I pay all the costs of the house (rent, cable, Internet, water, gas, electricity). I don't understand why she can't live on double the minimum wage if she lives rent free. On the weekends she often asks me to buy groceries at the store. I often spend S/.200-300 there. Why can't she contribute more? Recently she has requested that I pay our son's tuition at school. She works there, so supposedly he should get free tuition. She says it's only half. She apparently can't pay it, so I have to pay it. She always gives me the card late. There's a late fee. She's unhappy at her job. She wants to quit and wants me to set up a small business for her so that she can work there.



Please read these article for the questions above:

http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8122_wife.html
http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8112_habit.html
http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8506_fft.html


Originally Posted By: Zosimus

5. Bisexuality. My wife says that she thinks I don't listen to her. She wants a girlfriend who will listen to her and understand her better. While it's titillating, it's also stressful. I have told her that she can go to discos in search of one. She fears that if she finds a girlfriend that I'll find one too. She thinks that would be unfair. She wants me to find a boyfriend. I'm not interested.



Please read this article:
http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8111_leave.html


Originally Posted By: Zosimus

6. Sex. When we have sex, I make sure she has a great time. I provide oral sex. When she's done having a good time, she expects me to get off with her.

**edit**


7. Counseling. We separated in April 2013 and got back together in May 2014. I was pushing for her to get better at managing money and for us to see a psychologist. She didn't do either. Finally after a year I had found someone else. When the other woman (Ysabel) pushed me to reveal this to my wife, I did. She had a panic attack and then started actually going to a psychologist (I paid for it). I agreed to try again and we got back together in May. She stopped going to the psychologist as soon as we moved back in together. She's very insecure about Ysabel.
8. Ysabel. After my wife confronted her on the phone and threatened to tell everyone that she was a home wrecker, Ysabel stayed away for awhile, but now she comes around a few times a week. I like Ysabel. Ysabel wants the relationship to progress to sex. It sounds like it might be fun, but I know I can't get it up. I spend a lot more time with Ysabel than I do with my wife. Periodically Ysabel asks me whether I love my wife or what kind of future we might have together. I tell her that I do love my wife and that we have no future together. She gets in a huff and leaves for awhile. I haven't seen Ysabel since last Wednesday. She's in a huff... she'll be back in a week or two.



Sir, if you don't want to remain married to the mother of your children then file for divorce and leave.
Your behavior is giving her panic attacks and that is incredibly cruel to her.


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