Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our discussion forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 24 of 28 1 2 22 23 24 25 26 27 28
Joined: Dec 2010
Posts: 2,521
H
Member
OP Offline
Member
H
Joined: Dec 2010
Posts: 2,521
Any chance of getting a brief synopsis now?

I won't be on my home computer until after 4 pm EST.

Thank you.

****edit****

Last edited by JustUss; 10/17/14 06:26 AM. Reason: removing info as requested
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
***edit****
"I need trust too, and that has been destroyed by your actions. Taking that job has been a knife in my back. It is as hurtful to me as your affair."

SEND THAT NOW. Do not argue with me!!

Last edited by JustUss; 10/17/14 06:26 AM. Reason: removing quote

"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


Joined: Dec 2010
Posts: 2,521
H
Member
OP Offline
Member
H
Joined: Dec 2010
Posts: 2,521
I just did.

What's pissing her off the most is when she said Dr. Harley called her "weak" and that she'd "rekindle something with OM" if she took the job.

Joined: Dec 2010
Posts: 2,521
H
Member
OP Offline
Member
H
Joined: Dec 2010
Posts: 2,521
She's also now bailing from the coaching ***edit***
***edit****
*****edit****

Last edited by JustUss; 10/17/14 06:30 AM. Reason: removing info as requested
Joined: Dec 2010
Posts: 2,521
H
Member
OP Offline
Member
H
Joined: Dec 2010
Posts: 2,521
***edit****

Last edited by JustUss; 10/17/14 06:34 AM. Reason: removing info as requested
Joined: Dec 2010
Posts: 2,521
H
Member
OP Offline
Member
H
Joined: Dec 2010
Posts: 2,521
***edit****

Last edited by JustUss; 10/17/14 06:38 AM. Reason: removing info as requested
Joined: Nov 2012
Posts: 1,093
F
Member
Offline
Member
F
Joined: Nov 2012
Posts: 1,093
It sounds to me she feels like she has "served her time for the crime" and now it's time for life to go on as it was before.


Me (42)
Her (43) - feuillecouleur

DS(11)
DD(7)

Married: June 24, 2000

Recovered
Joined: Dec 2010
Posts: 2,521
H
Member
OP Offline
Member
H
Joined: Dec 2010
Posts: 2,521
***edit***

Last edited by JustUss; 10/17/14 06:42 AM. Reason: removing info as requested
Joined: Dec 2010
Posts: 2,521
H
Member
OP Offline
Member
H
Joined: Dec 2010
Posts: 2,521
FTF,

Im sorry, I didn't know how to take your comment, serious or sarcastic?

Joined: Nov 2012
Posts: 1,093
F
Member
Offline
Member
F
Joined: Nov 2012
Posts: 1,093
Originally Posted by helpfordad
FTF,

Im sorry, I didn't know how to take your comment, serious or sarcastic?

I'm serious. I think that is her perspective. That MB has been her punishment for her crime of infidelity and she feels like she has served out her sentence.


Me (42)
Her (43) - feuillecouleur

DS(11)
DD(7)

Married: June 24, 2000

Recovered
Joined: Dec 2010
Posts: 2,521
H
Member
OP Offline
Member
H
Joined: Dec 2010
Posts: 2,521
Oh, got it.

I'm not disagreeing that you could be right that that is her prerogative.

Is it okay with you that her "get out of jail" card places her 7 miles from the OMs house, though? And that she violated an established EP in making that decision independently?

I am curious about your thoughts.

Joined: Dec 2010
Posts: 2,521
H
Member
OP Offline
Member
H
Joined: Dec 2010
Posts: 2,521
***edit****





Very nice...

Last edited by JustUss; 10/17/14 06:51 AM. Reason: removing info as requested
Joined: Dec 2010
Posts: 2,521
H
Member
OP Offline
Member
H
Joined: Dec 2010
Posts: 2,521
Yeah, like marriage stops infidelity.

Geez...

Joined: Nov 2012
Posts: 1,093
F
Member
Offline
Member
F
Joined: Nov 2012
Posts: 1,093
Originally Posted by helpfordad
Oh, got it.

I'm not disagreeing that you could be right that that is her prerogative.

Is it okay with you that her "get out of jail" card places her 7 miles from the OMs house, though? And that she violated an established EP in making that decision independently?

I am curious about your thoughts.

No, not at all. I think our situations have some similarities which is why I have been following it.

BTW, I'm not sure if that is a misspell on your part, but I said that's her perspective not prerogative.



Me (42)
Her (43) - feuillecouleur

DS(11)
DD(7)

Married: June 24, 2000

Recovered
Joined: Dec 2010
Posts: 2,521
H
Member
OP Offline
Member
H
Joined: Dec 2010
Posts: 2,521
Yes, my mistake. I'm sorry.

Joined: Dec 2010
Posts: 2,521
H
Member
OP Offline
Member
H
Joined: Dec 2010
Posts: 2,521
***edit***

I need to get home later to hear Dr. H's response...

Last edited by JustUss; 10/17/14 06:52 AM. Reason: removing info as requested
Joined: Nov 2012
Posts: 1,093
F
Member
Offline
Member
F
Joined: Nov 2012
Posts: 1,093
Look, what she is doing with this job thing is wrong. It just is. You could divorce her if you want. Let's just put that to the side for the moment.

This might help me too.

Just looking at it from her perspective as a thought exercise.

What exactly is it that HFM has gotten out of MB for the last four years from her perspective? She gets to stay? What else? If you were her, what would you say you have gotten out of it?

Last edited by FightTheFight; 09/19/14 01:18 PM.

Me (42)
Her (43) - feuillecouleur

DS(11)
DD(7)

Married: June 24, 2000

Recovered
Joined: Dec 2010
Posts: 2,521
H
Member
OP Offline
Member
H
Joined: Dec 2010
Posts: 2,521
I have to sign off for a little while, but I'll end with this:

****edit****


I'll touch base in 30.

Last edited by JustUss; 10/17/14 06:55 AM. Reason: removing info as requested
Joined: Dec 2010
Posts: 2,521
H
Member
OP Offline
Member
H
Joined: Dec 2010
Posts: 2,521
FTF, Real quick...

I feel HFM would say at the very least it kept her family and marriage in tact. That she has grown (yes, she has actually) in personal areas, 'her side of the street' stuff. Taught her boundaries, confidence, especially dealing with family and coworkers. Made her a better parent.

Generally -- at least when it agrees with her I guess -- liked that we POJAd things, that we did have EPs...healthier communication, less arguments, it taught me to eliminate AOs, meet her needs better...we actually enjoy our UA time most of the time.


Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,806
Likes: 7
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,806
Likes: 7
helpfordad, can you let your wife know that I have posted to her on her thread and would like to talk with her here? She may not be willing, but I would like to talk with her, and I'm sure my wife Prisca would be willing to talk with her as well. Maybe she would be willing to listen to us.


If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app!

Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 17 years, who is a beautiful angel.
Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010

If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
Page 24 of 28 1 2 22 23 24 25 26 27 28

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
1 members (1 invisible), 123 guests, and 102 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
cbm800, Dodo M, Kingpin, MikaylaVaux, I.P.
71,728 Registered Users
Forum Statistics
Forums67
Topics133,546
Posts2,322,791
Members71,729
Most Online3,185
Jan 27th, 2020
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 1995-2020, Marriage Builders®. All Rights Reserved.  |  Web Development by SunStar Media.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5