Susie,

Did you kick him out of the house?

Basically, yes... He just left. I told him he needed to either commit to "trying" to save our marriage or leave. He chose to leave. I guess it is over.

Susie,
I dont think this affair is over.
You should post the OW on www.cheaterville.com
Tell your story and if possible post a couple of the sexting messages on there as proof.

He may return tonight or tomorrow.
Don't expect your marriage is over because he is choosing his affair partner over you at this point.
Post her on Cheaterville for good public exposure.
And immediately prepare for "Plan B."

Are you familiar with Plan B?

I don't have any of those messages anymore, the computer I used to get a hold of those broke.

I don't know if it is over or not but I am done fighting. I have no prove that it is still on going. He committed adultery, so hopefully I can get full custody and permission to relocate with my children.

I read plan B. I don't even care anymore. I am so numb. He can stay with her if he so wishes. Yes, my kids lose their dad but they will gain a whole lot of support from my brother, dad and uncle in addition of my aunts. Kids are resilient, they will be fine. I made him give me his whole paycheck of this week before he left. He has like $50 in an acct and that is it.

Then post her on Cheaterville without the text messages but get her posted.
You need to stay focused on this.

You need to be familiar with Plan B and prepare for it for your own mental health.
Plan B is not a plan to win him back. It is a plan designed to protect YOU

Well, I have no idea where he will be living but he has to support this household in it's entirety since I am a SAHM. I know he won't be able to, that will probably help me out with relocation.

I need to find an IM... thought his sister but then read that in laws are not a good idea. I also need to write the letter but I am not feeling it right now.

Just focus on posting on Cheaterville for now and then take some time for yourself

I really don't understand the point of doing this. He doesn't want me in his life period. What good will exposing her on cheaterville do? most of his friends have replied with oh so sorry, very disappointing but only one has told him how stupid breaking up our family is and the others have simply said they don't know the whole situation so all they can do is send thoughts and prayers for all of the involved.

Susie,
Public shame causes chaos in the affair.
Right now he is in the fog, like a drug addict on drugs.
An addict only cares about their addiction.
But when the drug is taken away, they think more clearly.
That is the purpose of exposure.
You really need to stay focused and stop worrying about what he says or does.

Ok, so I post her on cheaterville, I am sure as soon as she sees her post my phone will start blowing up. She will probably call him demanding I take her off the page. If they had had no contact since D-Day, won't that be counter productive?

Are you advising me I should keep fighting regardless of whether he wants to work on our marriage or not? Please don't take anything I say personally, I am just in shock myself and really have no clue what if I should keep fighting or if I am wasting my time.

You don't have to use cheaterville.
Exposure to family, friends etc fully and methodically will be fine.

Jedi and others do feel cheaterville is worthwhile.

I have reservations about it (though it wasn't available while I was exposing and I didn't save my marriage in the end so who am I to say). I think the site is sort of slimy looking though. In theory it is fine but the actual site is full of judgemental comments.

Susie, I am unsure why you believe the affair is over. I sure don't believe that and don't think it even matters. I would put the OW on cheaterville because it is therapeutic. It causes enormous chaos and conflict in the affair. Like you said, it will propel the OW to call your husband up screaming and carrying on. That will be great!!

I am catching up on your thread and that your H has left. In that case, you should go into Plan B.

Did you have a call with the Harleys yet?

He has been exposed to his friends and family. I have no way of contacting her friends or family except the ones I already did.

I seriously doubt that they have had no contact since D-Day.
You need to stick with the program and do it, not stand idly questioning every move.
Do you watch football? In every play, the football players have a plan on what they will do. They don't stop in the middle of the field questioning what the plan is.

Exposure brings the affair into the light of day.
If she likes being exposed to the whole world, then she can tell them that her affair is good and wholesome and won't be bothered at all.
But if she calls your husband complaining, then you know that he's not serious anyway because he would have already had her number blocked if there was true no contact.

This is where Cheaterville is so good for exposure

susie, did you read up about Plan B? If you don't go into Plan B, your husband will come in and out of your life at will and will drive you crazy. Going into Plan B is a great option because it puts you back in control of your life by shutting him out unless and until he meets your conditions.

Are you familiar with how it works?

I have not had the call with the Harleys yet. I don't know the affair to be over but I do not think there has been contact in the last 10 days. Off course, I can be wrong but at this point I am unsure that fighting to save this marriage is in my best interest. All I want is to be able to relocate myself with children to my home country.

I asked if he was willing to do anything to save our marriage and at first he said yes but then it turned into anything to keep my kids in the US, close to me. And that he loved me but he didn't feel romantic love for me and that he could never again feel it for me. He says it has nothing to do with the affair, that he felt that way way before he even met her. He left after I insisted he needed to leave because it was doing too much emotional damage to me to be treated so poorly and that I knew I didn't deserve his rejection, therefore having him around to keep belittling me in front of my children was not an option. I showed him MB webpage the Basic concepts page and he didn't even take a second look at it. That is when I told him to get his [censored] up, put ALL his paycheck on the desk and leave. He left but came back when I was asleep and slept in the other room and left around 6:45 to work (supposedly anyway).