Susie,

Did you post OW on Cheaterville?
Did he leave the house tonight?
Did you change the locks?
Did you find an IM?

I have not posted on cheaterville and I won't. I am not fighting for this marriage anymore. It is over. He has a suitcase packed, he is staying for tonight. Kids and I left the house for a few hours and they came back asleep so will not see him. I think I have found my IM, I have a second cousin that lives here, too and while she is willing to help as much as possible, she too agrees my best support is in my home country. I can't afford to change the locks, so I will just buy a new lock for the gate that leads to the front door.

Susie, I never recovered as I was done with him. Exposure is still SO vital - especially since he is till the father of your kids.

Posting her on Cheaterville causes trouble in the A. Trouble in the A frees him from this evil and prevents her from becoming your kids evil stepmother!

I think Plan B will give you your sanity back but be sure to expose thoroughly.

Don't worry about the 'fairness'. She saw your life, liked it and played nice so as to lift it like a thief. And told you it was the pregnancy making you crazy.

Take her down without a qualm.

Unscrew the lock from the door and take it to a locksmith who will rekey it. This will cost far less than a new lock for the gate. Be sure not to lose any screws and to remember how it came apart!

susie I recently had a locksmith come to my house and rekey my locks to all use the same key. The locksmith was able to do it quickly and it was less expensive than buying new locks.

Can you call a locksmith and get a quote to rekey if you are not comfortable trying to remove and reinstall them yourself?

It is way too early to give up on your marriage.

Let plan B protect you from the craziness while your WH gets a reality check.

If your WH turns himself around and is ready to commit to the marriage, then you will be stronger and in a better position to decide what you really want.

Plan B brings peace and clears the air around you.

The vast majority of BS's want him back one day, then want him dead the next. This emotional reaction is due to shock and we call it the rollercoaster. You may not have made your final decision yet.

Either way: Exposure and Plan B leaves all the options open. You can get peace, sanity, start healing - make your decision whenever you like.

Thank you all, I have found an IM, I also finally got in touch with my WH's dad, he told the dad he was not getting along with me and wanted to separate and that he had met someone else and had fallen in love with this other woman. Dad thought well, if they are not getting along it is best they separate, that was until I told him the whole story. the reasons I have been given as to why he fell out of love with me and how the affair began and continued with WH's allowing this woman into our home and my life and the lives of our children. How he refuses counseling or any attempt to save our marriage. All the financial woes and the fact that he has been drinking and smoking and letting the kids go without but at the same time expects to cover the cost of 2 households. My FIL said, it sounded like his son was acting like a spoiled brat and needed an asswhooping and a reality check. I told him that I knew I had contributed to him falling out of love and allowing that breach that made the affair possible but that I was willing to change and work on our marriage. I told him the only reason I was telling him all the financial woes was because if things don't work out I wanted him to understand, too, why I felt it was best for the children and myself to go back to my country.

Yes, that is how I feel. One moment I want him to just vanish and the next I want him back. I am going to go to counseling myself. My FIL asked I let his son stay at least until he speaks to him because basically because of a bunch of tickets and a suspended license, we run the risk of him going to jail and then definitely the kids and I will be in a worse position financially. He agrees that his son needs to moves out and pay EVERY single bill for me and the kids, so he can get a reality check but told me to give him a chance to speak to him first. I reluctantly agreed to do so, but told him he could only come sleep, bathe and leave, he must come after kids and I are in bed around 11pm and must leave by no later than 6am. He cannot eat any food, he must do his laundry at the laundromat and he must give me his complete weekly 40hr check. Anything beyond 40hrs would be to pay the tickets. I know most here will not agree to this but I cannot allow him to go to jail because then I am completely financially screwed. And I also said only for 2 weeks at the most. Oh and ok, I will post on Cheaterville.

Susie,

Post the OW on Cheaterville and drive nails into this affair.

As for Plan B, you need to get into Plan B ASAP.
Make sure you have an IM lined up first

got an im, plan b will go into effect after wh speaks with his dad and figures were he will stay but no longer than 2 weeks from today. Cheaterville will meet a new cheater tonight.

I thought you were all prepared to go into Plan B today?? What is the delay?

Done, waiting on approval

Susie,
I understand that your FIL is concerned that your husband may not have a place to stay.
However, I want to tell you that by allowing him to stay you are enabling his behavior.
Does your husband have an active warrant for his arrest? If so, that's an even better way to keep him out of the house.

I finally spoke to his dad, he asked me to give him a chance to speak to his son before I let him go homeless. But he agrees son needs to fully support the kids and I and move out until he gets his act together .

Susie,

You need to get him out and into Plan B sooner.
Your FIL may have good intentions and is trying to help but you need to stay focused on yourself and your child, not on your wayward husband.

What do I gain if he gets arrested and can't work? I have NO money, no job and neither does he have any money. If he gets arrested and goes to jail, I still cannot leave the country with the kids because I have no money for tickets. I will have no money for food or to pay any bills. He needs to be able to work and support my kids and I or we will end homeless bouncing from one friends' house to the next.

But you have already given him this chance. Your husband has declined. There is no reason to wait another day! Does the father believe he has some magic words? If he has magic words, I would ask him to say them TONIGHT becuase your H needs to get out tomorrow.

No more delays, Susie. You enabling your husband.

What country are you in?
Is it a civilized country with a social welfare system?

I understand all you are saying and yes I am focusing on my kids, they were very upset thinking their dad is homeless, that right there can turn back into my kids hating me for letting their dad be homeless. so I explained to them he can only be here for a very short time and they said that as long as daddy didn't have to sleep in the streets and get killed they were ok with him only sleeping here. So yeah, leaving him homeless in the eyes of my kids is not a good thing