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Use her picture and expose her on Cheaterville Was this ever done? Ok, I did it. Good for you! When your H finds out from the OW what you have done, don't defend your actions. Just say you are not going to keep it a secret. Be ready to go to the HR department and report it unless your H agrees to transfer immediately or leave his job. He can't work there. And, really, it is better, much better, if you were all to move away from there and get away from the OW. Are you doing okay? Are you able to sleep and eat? Do you think you might need ADs to help you get through this? ADs can be a tremendous help and it need only be for a few months.
Married 1980
DDay Nov 2010
Recovered thanks to Marriage Builders
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Good for you! When your H finds out from the OW what you have done, don't defend your actions. Just say you are not going to keep it a secret. How would they know? Who ever looks at those sites? Are you doing okay? Are you able to sleep and eat? Do you think you might need ADs to help you get through this? ADs can be a tremendous help and it need only be for a few months. No, No, No, and maybe so. I took them after my stillbirth and the withdrawal when I went off was so bad that I swore I'd never take them again, no matter what. I could not have anticipated a situation more painful than that one. So wrong.
Me BW
Married 18 years before D-day
Kiddos - 15, 13, 6, 1
D-day - 10/14/14 Plan B - 11/30/14
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Your H now says he doesn't want to reconcile, but yes, there is still hope. My H had planned to divorce me and had no intention of reconciling. Eventually he rolled his eyes at the chaplain we were seeing and said VERY reluctantly, "okay, I'll do the right thing...." Said with a big sigh, this didn't exactly make my heart beat with joy. Still, as long as the affair was dead, the opportunity to recovery was now better. And yes, we reconciled, recovered, and now have a marriage better than ever before. You were separated? And he still saw a chaplain with you? I don't have any proof the affair is still on. There has been no phone contact between them since he admitted the A to me. He did change the lock code on his phone and email, but not on the cell ebill site. I am able to read all of his texts there. He did call someone Friday to I assume ask if OW was ok, and the person texted a response that she is ok and seeing a counselor. It's a company counselor and the one I saw right after I found out about the A her only advice was about taking care of myself and encouraging him tell his boss what's going on. Hopefully she got the same advice.
Me BW
Married 18 years before D-day
Kiddos - 15, 13, 6, 1
D-day - 10/14/14 Plan B - 11/30/14
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The affair is not over, I assure you. But it will be over if you expose to her family and the workplace and get your husband out of there. You also need to confront the OW.
Have you been able to find the OW's family yet? I am concerned that this is being dragged out while the affairees regroup.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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[There has been no phone contact between them since he admitted the A to me. You mean there has been no phone contact on the phone he knows you have access to. Even the dumbest wayward could work around that. They also see each other at work.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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[There has been no phone contact between them since he admitted the A to me. You mean there has been no phone contact on the phone he knows you have access to. Even the dumbest wayward could work around that. They also see each other at work. Yup, they are called pre paid aka "affair phones"... yup my husband got one and when I caught that one, he got another one....
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Well, that confirms my suspicions that you are not taking this affair seriously enough. 
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We told you that until they do not work together anymore you must consider the affair is still ON. You don't need anymore proof than that.
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The fact that he has been planning to move out for a while now tells me this is a very entrenched affair, purple. The only reason waywards want to move out is to further their affair.
The fact that she is SINGLE is not good and the fact they work together is the bigggest problem.
You should be doing everything in your power to exposed this to OW's family and I would not hesitate to pull the trigger on the workplace.
Like Melody, I am very worried that this is being trickled out and not going to be effective in the end.
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Ok, yes. I needed to hear that. Wenang is trying to help find how's family. I am trying to prepare myself for exposure to his boss. I know I am being naive in hoping he will choose to meet my conditions. He's completely caught up in this A.
Me BW
Married 18 years before D-day
Kiddos - 15, 13, 6, 1
D-day - 10/14/14 Plan B - 11/30/14
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I am trying to prepare myself for exposure to his boss. jk, you do understand that this needs to be exposed to the HR director, right? Just exposing to his boss will not be sufficient. Did you read the steps for workplace exposure on the exposure thread?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Whether he has seen her in the past few days or not is irrelevant. He is still in it.
This is why I posted that. I start to get caught up thinking he's the same person he was a year ago, but he's not. I need you guys to keep being firm with me.
Me BW
Married 18 years before D-day
Kiddos - 15, 13, 6, 1
D-day - 10/14/14 Plan B - 11/30/14
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I am trying to prepare myself for exposure to his boss. jk, you do understand that this needs to be exposed to the HR director, right? Just exposing to his boss will not be sufficient. Did you read the steps for workplace exposure on the exposure thread? Yes
Me BW
Married 18 years before D-day
Kiddos - 15, 13, 6, 1
D-day - 10/14/14 Plan B - 11/30/14
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Good girl! Glad to hear wenang is helping you search.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I have her email address as well. (Director of hr)
Last edited by jkwpurple; 10/19/14 03:32 PM.
Me BW
Married 18 years before D-day
Kiddos - 15, 13, 6, 1
D-day - 10/14/14 Plan B - 11/30/14
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Update: I asked purple the age of the OW. She doesn't know. If she is around 27, I gave her the name and address of her parents. This is never 100% accurate when I don't have the info I need. Plus,she has a common name. But, I advised purple to contact the parents via mail and hopefully they are the correct people. The next thing I would advise is on Monday to contact her former boss to find out more info about her. I would call and say I'm an old friend looking to see what happened to her. I'd say, "is this the (name) who is around 27? is this the girl who lived at (blank)....just to get more info. What do you guys all think? Or...she can call the place she works now and ask those type of questions, just to make sure we have the right woman.
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Update: I asked purple the age of the OW. She doesn't know. If she is around 27, I gave her the name and address of her parents. This is never 100% accurate when I don't have the info I need. Plus,she has a common name. But, I advised purple to contact the parents via mail and hopefully they are the correct people. The next thing I would advise is on Monday to contact her former boss to find out more info about her. I would call and say I'm an old friend looking to see what happened to her. I'd say, "is this the (name) who is around 27? is this the girl who lived at (blank)....just to get more info. What do you guys all think? Or...she can call the place she works now and ask those type of questions, just to make sure we have the right woman. Or she could just call these alleged parents tonight and ask them if they have a daughter who works at XXXXXXXX. Can you get their phone #? Also, have you tried looking these people up on Facebook, wenang?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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If you guys have the address, you might be able to pull up the phone # on whitepages.com by either going to the address tab and entering their address or searching the name.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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It doesn't come up that way. Also in my search their # was disconnected.
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What happens when you put the parents name in intelius.com? Does it link to her name?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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