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Originally Posted by Still_Crazy
Originally Posted by markos
Originally Posted by Still_Crazy
Originally Posted by catwhit
Dr Harley had an interesting discussion on today's radio program; he talked about parents teaching their children to be thoughtful, which will serve them well in life.

You can hear the program until 1 pm CST today (Tuesday.)

I'd be interested to hear your thoughts on this, S_C.

Unfortunately I am at work and am not allowed to listen to anything, it would be blocked from access, I am surprised MB is not blocked from my access.

Install the app and you can listen from your phone or your car.

This is too good a resource to pass up. If one method of listening doesn't work for you, find another.

Nothing is ever going to change or get better as long as its all excuses.

Can't do that either, we are not allowed head phones or to have anything playing out loud. The only time I can listen is before and after work and in my car but I would not have beeen able to listen to the show the poster was talking about because I would be at work.

Each day's radio show plays continuously until the next day's show. So you can listen at any time convenient to you, not just for the hour it's playing live.


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Originally Posted by unwritten
Well this is 14 pages of watching a merry go round. I can't even remember what the original question was.

My prediction is that now that new guy is not interested in DD she will reunite with old bf, and all will go back to 'normal.'

As I said before, I hope a little bit of what has been said regarding you enabling destructive behavior, like living together before marriage, is planted as a seed in your head moving forward. It is not your job after all to live your daughters life, it is your job to advise to her and role model the behavior that YOU feel is appropriate. Such as, 'I don't agree with living together before marriage, you can do that since you are a full grown adult woman, but I don't agree and you are not going to do it in my house.'

This was funny too, the original question was how to tell my DD that this OS friend was not good for a committed relationship.

And obviously I was correct but she would not have listened anyway. And I will no longer let her live with a BF under my roof but she can by herself.

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Originally Posted by markos
Each day's radio show plays continuously until the next day's show. So you can listen at any time convenient to you, not just for the hour it's playing live.

I was not aware of that thanks

Last edited by Still_Crazy; 10/28/14 02:00 PM.
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Originally Posted by Still_Crazy
Originally Posted by markos
Originally Posted by Still_Crazy
Originally Posted by catwhit
Dr Harley had an interesting discussion on today's radio program; he talked about parents teaching their children to be thoughtful, which will serve them well in life.

You can hear the program until 1 pm CST today (Tuesday.)

I'd be interested to hear your thoughts on this, S_C.

Unfortunately I am at work and am not allowed to listen to anything, it would be blocked from access, I am surprised MB is not blocked from my access.

Install the app and you can listen from your phone or your car.

This is too good a resource to pass up. If one method of listening doesn't work for you, find another.

Nothing is ever going to change or get better as long as its all excuses.

Can't do that either, we are not allowed head phones or to have anything playing out loud. The only time I can listen is before and after work and in my car but I would not have beeen able to listen to the show the poster was talking about because I would be at work.

Why couldn't you have listened to it afterward? They repeat it every hour for 24 hours.


If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app!

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markos #2826084 10/28/14 02:04 PM
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Originally Posted by markos
You totally missed the point of what I was saying. I hope you'll read it again, because it is very important.

People are not Givers or Takers.

Being a strong Giver is not a good recipe.

I didn't miss the point markos, I know that I am all giver and very little taker, I have always been that way and I have survived for 50 years being that way and I happen to like it. And my taker usually does not get out of wack because I do so much for so many people that they always do for me too even my selfish DD. So I do not need to have my taker be big it does not suit me well.

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OMG my eldest DD called again and the OS friend is now going to start coming back over again so my DD is all giddy again.

How will I ever be able to accept this guy if they start dating because even though she was not married to the BF it seemed that way and this just seems like an affair to me UGH.......

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Originally Posted by Still_Crazy
Originally Posted by markos
You totally missed the point of what I was saying. I hope you'll read it again, because it is very important.

People are not Givers or Takers.

Being a strong Giver is not a good recipe.

I didn't miss the point markos, I know that I am all giver and very little taker

If you believe that to be true, then you are not understanding what I am saying.


If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app!

Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8.
Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010

If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
markos #2826094 10/28/14 04:32 PM
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Ok I am a good person, I always think of others first and how anything I do would affect them. I have taken in stray people (not strangers) who needed help for a minute, I make dinner with others in mind, I am open for most things so I usually do what the group wants to do, I am not rude to people, I am a good listener, I ask others opinions, I really do not do anything that is just for SC.

So if this is what you are trying to say then yes I am pretty much giver and not much taker, but doing those things feeds my taker because it is what makes me happy and people do things for me in return even though I don't expect or ask for it and I LOVE it.

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And before any of you ask back when my FWH had his affair and I was here everyone asked me to think of something just for SC, that was almost 8 years ago now (wow I can't believe it has been that long) and I have racked my brain trying to even think of something I would want to do just for SC and I still have not come up with anything.

I am happiest as a giver.

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Originally Posted by Still_Crazy
And before any of you ask back when my FWH had his affair and I was here everyone asked me to think of something just for SC, that was almost 8 years ago now (wow I can't believe it has been that long) and I have racked my brain trying to even think of something I would want to do just for SC and I still have not come up with anything.

I am happiest as a giver.

Not good at all!


If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app!

Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8.
Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010

If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
markos #2826109 10/28/14 06:39 PM
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If I can't even think of something then in my eyes it is not bad but I am not talking about me I am talking about my DD.

Ugh ugh ugh I just really hate the way she did all of this and it gives me a knot in the pit of my stomach and I feel like the worst mother in the world for being so upset with her.

I guess just because I do believe in marriage and I TRULY thought they would get married. I have called him my son-in-law for a couple of years now. And like I said I almost feel like my DD is having an EA .

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In my book, letting an unmarried daughter stay at your house with her live in boyfriend is the opposite of believing in marriage. You know that couples who live together before marriage usually have unsuccessful marriages, right?


If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app!

Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8.
Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010

If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
markos #2826119 10/28/14 07:10 PM
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You do know the statistics on marriage in general is pretty bad unfortunately.

That doesn't make me believe in it any less.

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And like I said I almost feel like my DD is having an EA
She's not. Nowhere close to it. And it would be extraordinarily disrespectful for you to even imply that she is.


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Prisca #2826136 10/28/14 08:45 PM
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You do know the statistics on marriage in general is pretty bad unfortunately.
A big part of the reason for that is couples living together before marriage.

Couples who live together before marriage tend to be renters, not buyers. It is no surprise that their marriages fail.


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Originally Posted by Still_Crazy
You do know the statistics on marriage in general is pretty bad unfortunately.

You do know that living together before marriage dramatically increases the likelihood of divorce? Shacking up dooms relationships and that is what you endorsed with your daughter. Why would you want that for your own daughter?


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

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She was already living with him regardless of my feelings.

And kind of not by my own choice but because my mother refused to let me date my H then BF we lived together before we got married and we have been married for almost 30 years.

Marriage is hard and requires work and most people are not willing to put in the work even though the rewards are awesome.

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Originally Posted by Prisca
Quote
And like I said I almost feel like my DD is having an EA
She's not. Nowhere close to it. And it would be extraordinarily disrespectful for you to even imply that she is.

However that is how I feel and I don't like that I feel that way but I do none the less.

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My H then BF is 6 years older than me and I was 19 and still lives at home and because she was my mother and I lived in her house she did not want me to date him because he was too old and experienced for more so I was forbidden to see him. So we decided to move in together so we could still see each other. We were married a little more than a year later.

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Wow. You would equate your SINGLE daughter to a WW? She is immature and selfish, but she is NOT an adulteress! She is free to date or STOP dating who ever she wants, whenever she wants.


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What to do with an Angry Husband

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