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BrainHurts #2817641 08/29/14 03:59 PM
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garak77 Offline OP
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Oh my bad. I understand now.
I must add that my wife and I have had sex almost daily since D day.
She slept with my son in the same bed since he was born.
She sleeps with me on my nights off until my son wakes up and starts crying.
I will also add that as best I can tell there is no contact with OM.

garak77 #2817879 09/01/14 11:59 AM
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garak77 Offline OP
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Question:

How long should I use the VARs?
I have been using them a week and found nothing.

garak77 #2817885 09/01/14 12:38 PM
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Originally Posted By: garak77
Question:

How long should I use the VARs?
I have been using them a week and found nothing.


You should use surveillance until your wife agrees to a program of recovery as detailed in SAA, which she has thus far refused to do....and then for the next 2 years

Jedi_Knight #2818884 09/10/14 06:44 PM
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garak77 Offline OP
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Another Question:

To be honest, I am trying to get the nerve to expose OM # 1 to his wife.
I am a little afraid of the possible fall out. (Maybe OM # 1 will get violent with my family??

Also, his wife is a recovering alcoholic, and suffers from depression, I know she deserves to know, but I don't want to put her in a type of tailspin.

Here is the question: The only phone number I have is a home phone number.
What should I say if OM # 1 answers?
Man I know part of me would like to have some cross words with him.
........ Like. .... So you think it's cool to sleep with another man's wife.

On another note, I have Ben watching her computer with web watchers, and placing vars for the last 3 or 4 weeks.
There has been nothing alarming said or done that I can see.
I can also see a positive change of attitude in my Ws conversations with her female friends.

garak77 #2818887 09/10/14 07:05 PM
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Originally Posted By: garak77
Another Question:

To be honest, I am trying to get the nerve to expose OM # 1 to his wife.
I am a little afraid of the possible fall out. (Maybe OM # 1 will get violent with my family??

Also, his wife is a recovering alcoholic, and suffers from depression, I know she deserves to know, but I don't want to put her in a type of tailspin.

Here is the question: The only phone number I have is a home phone number.
What should I say if OM # 1 answers?
Man I know part of me would like to have some cross words with him.
........ Like. .... So you think it's cool to sleep with another man's wife.

On another note, I have Ben watching her computer with web watchers, and placing vars for the last 3 or 4 weeks.
There has been nothing alarming said or done that I can see.
I can also see a positive change of attitude in my Ws conversations with her female friends.


You should expose to OM wife.
You are not responsible if it causes her to drink, just as a police officer is not responsible if someone he gives a speeding ticket to gets angry about the ticket and drinks.

Jedi_Knight #2818894 09/10/14 07:24 PM
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garak77 Offline OP
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I know I should expose, and I will!
What should I say to OM if he answers the phone?

A big part of me wishes there was a loophole in the law where if a man sleeps with another mans wife, his life could be threatened.

It just isn't fair. I didn't ask for any of this. I would never sleep with another mans wife. I have thought of a revenge affair, but (I know) I could never go through with it.
I feel like I am mentally doing better, but I still have my bad moments.
I am normally not a violent person. I always went out of my way to avoid any type of fight, but in my worst moments, I want to bloody these POSOM's noses!
(I know my wife shares probably most of the blame, but they assaulted my family too.)

garak77 #2818902 09/10/14 08:53 PM
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Originally Posted By: garak77


A big part of me wishes there was a loophole in the law where if a man sleeps with another mans wife, his life could be threatened.


Sir, I just read in the Wall Street Journal that dozens have been executed for adultery in ISIS controlled areas.
If AlQaeda ever conquers America, I can guarantee that there will be very little adultery going on.

garak77 #2818903 09/10/14 08:54 PM
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Originally Posted By: garak77
I know I should expose, and I will!
What should I say to OM if he answers the phone?

A big part of me wishes there was a loophole in the law where if a man sleeps with another mans wife, his life could be threatened.

It just isn't fair. I didn't ask for any of this. I would never sleep with another mans wife. I have thought of a revenge affair, but (I know) I could never go through with it.
I feel like I am mentally doing better, but I still have my bad moments.
I am normally not a violent person. I always went out of my way to avoid any type of fight, but in my worst moments, I want to bloody these POSOM's noses!
(I know my wife shares probably most of the blame, but they assaulted my family too.)


If the OM answers, I would just hang up.
If you want to really get even with him legally, just post him on Cheaterville for all the world to see.

garak77 #2818904 09/10/14 08:55 PM
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Do have OM's BW's number?


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



BrainHurts #2818908 09/10/14 09:40 PM
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FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



BrainHurts #2818919 09/11/14 06:48 AM
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garak77 Offline OP
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I have their home number. (Which they share)

By the way, I need to point out that this affair, and all others appear to be dead.
I have been using vars and webwatcher for quite some time now.

garak77 #2818928 09/11/14 08:43 AM
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Originally Posted By: garak77
I have their home number. (Which they share)

By the way, I need to point out that this affair, and all others appear to be dead.
I have been using vars and webwatcher for quite some time now.

Does she not have a cell number? Have you searched under her name?


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



BrainHurts #2818972 09/11/14 05:32 PM
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garak77 Offline OP
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I have searched under both her and his name, I could only find the home number.
(Tried to call today, he answered so I hung up)

Any idea on a way to find her cell number?

garak77 #2818973 09/11/14 05:33 PM
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garak77 Offline OP
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On a side note, I wish I could know for sure if my W is being honest.
The vars tell me nothing is going on while I am not here.
Webwatcher is clean.

garak77 #2818978 09/11/14 05:37 PM
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Originally Posted By: garak77
I have searched under both her and his name, I could only find the home number.
(Tried to call today, he answered so I hung up)

Any idea on a way to find her cell number?


I would just keep calling the house number until she answers.
You could always do a reverse directory and get their address and follow her to work and speak to her then

Jedi_Knight #2818984 09/11/14 07:13 PM
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garak77 Offline OP
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That is an idea.
Only problem is they live an hour away from my house.
I'll keep trying to call for a while.

garak77 #2826752 11/03/14 07:56 PM
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garak77 Offline OP
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Okay, I talked with OM #1's wife. She did not believe me, and Om#1 got on the phone and denied it. I called him a liar in a very angry voice and told him to stay away. (Again, I strongly believe all affairs are dead, and vars would point to this)

My W tells me she only talked on the phone 1 time. (The day they had sex at the hotel) (just over 2 years ago)
I know I have the right guy, I knew his name and his wife's name because my W told me.

I told her about a prior affair of OM#1, she still believes her H.

garak77 #2826826 11/04/14 11:07 AM
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Originally Posted By: garak77
Okay, I talked with OM #1's wife. She did not believe me, and Om#1 got on the phone and denied it. I called him a liar in a very angry voice and told him to stay away. (Again, I strongly believe all affairs are dead, and vars would point to this)

My W tells me she only talked on the phone 1 time. (The day they had sex at the hotel) (just over 2 years ago)
I know I have the right guy, I knew his name and his wife's name because my W told me.

I told her about a prior affair of OM#1, she still believes her H.


So sad she's in denial. I'm sure this isn't his first affair.

Do you have any evidence you could provide the BW?


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



BrainHurts #2826857 11/04/14 12:39 PM
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garak77 Offline OP
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It is not his first affair. At first she denied that fact, then I got her to admit it.

There was only 1 phone call between my W and OM#1.
I called my wireless provider to get the bill of that particular month.
If it has that phone call listed on the call log, I will share it with her.

The man got on the phone and told me that I'm mistaken and to leave his family alone. My God I was so angry. I will not let this impunity stand if I can at all help it.

I am almost 100% sure my wife is no longer wayward, but I still get sick over this.
I mean how could she do this to someone she loves?

Jedi_Knight #2826858 11/04/14 12:44 PM
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Did you get a day job yet?

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