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You don't POJA Plan B. You just do it.
Isn't it a little early for you to be going to Plan B?
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I feel it is. i think WW may move to her mothers house. WW would stay past the holidays. WW did lock me out of the house yesterday for about 3 hours.
WW & I are separted according to WW and living under the same roof. WW is in master bedroom with our D. I am upstiars in another room.
I unleashsed some bad LB's the other day. I had been trying very hard to restore love and show i was not prying so much. but when WW showed D a place the would be going on the pc. i looked in the history and found it was a hotel in boston. wolf lodge. then as we were texting she told me she would not be coming home till 430pm so D could goto Dance class. then she text why dont i go do a beer with Craig. (cat n mouse) new they were together and i lost it. obviously LB-ing the situation.
She will be at todays counseling. we are going to talk about what we should do for future as opposed to talk about past issues today. at 4.
yes WW could stay. i have no proof of sex occuring only my assumption. she states it not that way ect. it most deffinatley is an affair emotional with proof. physical with out proof.
I could use anti depressants most likley. I can not talk about this with out my voice giving out. I have a pre nup that covers my house only. i do not belive it states her removal from the home that in my state has to be done in court.
with that said she has found my plan b letter and read it. i was drafting one up and did not hide it well enough. this has her beliving i do not wish to talk unless it has to do with D. ect.
I could continue with plan A. but There has been unproductive LB's that happened. i realize my mood is linked to snooping the A becomes locked in my head and i let out my feelings when i snoop.
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Only go to Plan B if you are ready for the marriage to end. It will not win your wife back to you. WW do not respond well to Plan B.
Plan B will be the end of your marriage.
If you get on antidepressants and calm down, you do have a chance of winning your wife back with Plan A. You have only just started.
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ok I will do what i can to keep her home.
I will say the fog is thick it seems so hopless breaking this up. id say the 6 mo would be the minimum for this to disolve at this point after WW & I did our annivarseray ww seemed to go full speed ahead on this as i unintentionally pushed her into the Om by arguing and digging before i found MB.
Last edited by clintonior; 11/12/14 12:59 PM.
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I could continue with plan A. but There has been unproductive LB's that happened. i realize my mood is linked to snooping the A becomes locked in my head and i let out my feelings when i snoop. clinton, face up and be a man about the love busting behavior. They didn't just happen, and stop saying they "happened," and start saying "I made this mistake, and I won't do it again." They are a choice that you make. One of several possible choices. The worst of several possible choices, in fact! The snooping doesn't make you love bust. It makes you feel bad to see the bad news, and then you choose your response, in this case, the wrong response. And you are not "letting out your feelings." You are doing and saying things that are demanding, disrespectful, or angry. Stop doing those things. There are plenty of ways to express your feelings without being demanding, disrespectful, or angry. Just state how you feel: "Your relationship with OM is the most devastating thing that ever happened to me." There, that was easy, no demands, disrespect, or angry outbursts.
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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Will you get on antidepressants?
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clinton, are you listening to the Marriage Builders Radio show daily so you can learn how to eliminate the love busters?
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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Will you get on antidepressants? I will schedule an appointment. (clinton, are you listening to the Marriage Builders Radio show daily so you can learn how to eliminate the love busters?) no actually I am not this would be the first suggestion of it. yes your right I made a bad choice to LB. it will not be helpful in any way. and likley has undone much i have tried to accomplish I belive it has to do with my feeling a bit hopeless at this point.
Last edited by clintonior; 11/12/14 01:14 PM.
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Good. Get the meds, and start listening to the radio show. This will help you immensely.
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How do i tune into the show?
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How do i tune into the show? Install the app, or visit the radio page on this website and click the listen now link. The show runs 24/7 - each day's show is repeated every hour until the next new show airs. So you can listen any time.
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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About three weeks ago you were told to listen to a clip from the radio show. How can you not know about it after that? Did you listen to the clip? As well as the specific advice on your thread, do you read any other threads in this forum? Aren't you interested in reading about situations very similar to yours? If you read any advice on here you must have seen that we tell people to listen to the radio show all the time!
BW Married 1989 His PA 2003-2006 2 kids.
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Have you listened to these? You were reminded to listen.
BW Married 1989 His PA 2003-2006 2 kids.
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Your response: no I cant at work I would have to try them from home i guess. they wouldnt open up for me.
BW Married 1989 His PA 2003-2006 2 kids.
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Last week you wrote Yes Brain Hurts, I did listen to them so so helpful mabye I'll listen again.
BW Married 1989 His PA 2003-2006 2 kids.
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I did listen to the clip. I didnt realize there was live shows. also i did have to use my phone to listen but that was fine. i will check them out tonight.
Last edited by clintonior; 11/12/14 02:31 PM.
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I almost forgot the most important thing today. I confirmed OM works with my WW using the automated directory. indeed OM does work with her. OM told me he did not work there WW says he does. ] with that I exposed the affair to The VP at their location using the workplace template via e-mail. I have read a few post stating the work exposure to be very helpful.
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I almost forgot the most important thing today. I confirmed OM works with my WW using the automated directory. indeed OM does work with her. OM told me he did not work there WW says he does. ] with that I exposed the affair to The VP at their location using the workplace template via e-mail. I have read a few post stating the work exposure to be very helpful. Great step to take!
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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Markos, Prisa.. My situation is my WW works nights nurse. I work days and have for last 10 years +. She gets home at 1130 I go to sleep about 10. I hear her come in usually sometimes she gets in at 2 I'm told has to do with when the overnight gets in. WW has 3 days off a week. WW is using those days to see D and ends up seeing OM usually it seems to me but I have no real good proof other than D spills the beans and WW say yes I was with OM but other ppl & kids were there too. I see her for about 3 hrs a week and she is likley going to move back to her mothers.
Last edited by clintonior; 11/13/14 08:22 AM.
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