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The cheaterville post was approved, ID 35193
Me: 35
Her: 31
Together: 05/03/2002
Married: 10/14/2004
Children: D10,D8,S5
Bomb: 08/26/2014
Wife's Affair Ended 10/01/2015
Reconciliation, without commitment .... Yet
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Posts: 1,391
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You make DARN SURE that you carry a VAR, a Voice Activated Recorder on you AT ALL TIMES that you meet OR discuss Anythhng with your WW.
Protect Youself with the truth.
LTL
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I do have one qualm about this however. This exposure seems to be contingent on an affair where I am still in the home, and the spouse has some semblance of not wanting to leave the marriage.
This is an exit affair, does this tactic still work, when she believes she has her mind made up to leave? I don't think her mind is completely made up, but I am no mind reader. Get rid of the various "Suppised" Affair definitions. They just muddy the thinking. All affairs can be exit affairs, or just a piece on the side. Break Up The Affair. Get your FREE Advice from Dr. Harley via the MB Radio call in show. Send your e-mail to Joyce and provide your phone number and she will 1st call you to discuss the situation. P.S. You also will get one of Dr. Harley's books for free when you are oo the radio show. LTL
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,440 Likes: 4
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Email your questions to Joyce Harley at mbradio@marriagebuilders.com. When your email question is chosen to be answered on the radio show, you will be notified by email directing you to listen to the rebroadcast. If you would like to consider being a caller, include your telephone number. You will be called by us to explain the procedure to you. Every caller will receive a complementary book by Dr. Harley that addresses their question. Will you write Dr. Harley? This is where I asked if would write Dr. Harley 2 days ago.
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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She called me, ill be on Wednesday 19th
Me: 35
Her: 31
Together: 05/03/2002
Married: 10/14/2004
Children: D10,D8,S5
Bomb: 08/26/2014
Wife's Affair Ended 10/01/2015
Reconciliation, without commitment .... Yet
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Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 142
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Have you exposed to OM's family and friends from Facebook contacts?
Me (BW) 63
FWH 59
Married 30 years
FWH EA 2007 - 2011
FWH PA July, 2011 - November, 2011
False Recovery Dec, 2012 - July 14, 2016
3 adult children, 4 granddaughters and 1 grandson
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Have you exposed to OM's family and friends from Facebook contacts? Finish the exposure and start Plan A.
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Exposure done. Plan A will not be easy with limited contact.
Me: 35
Her: 31
Together: 05/03/2002
Married: 10/14/2004
Children: D10,D8,S5
Bomb: 08/26/2014
Wife's Affair Ended 10/01/2015
Reconciliation, without commitment .... Yet
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Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 142
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Who did you contact on OM's side and what did you say to them?
Me (BW) 63
FWH 59
Married 30 years
FWH EA 2007 - 2011
FWH PA July, 2011 - November, 2011
False Recovery Dec, 2012 - July 14, 2016
3 adult children, 4 granddaughters and 1 grandson
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Who did you contact on OM's side and what did you say to them? Anyone one his list with the last name of of his, anyone co-worker, and anyone in a relationship - almost 50 people. "Dear friend/family of **edit** It grieves me to write this letter, but I believe all of his friends should be aware that *** is having an affair with my wife, **** We have been married for 10 years. They have been having this affair since July 2014. I would ask that you use your influence with **** to persuade him to leave my wife alone. It is unfortunate that he is no friend to marriage. I want to save my marriage and keep my family together. Thank you"
Last edited by JustUss; 11/10/14 01:56 PM. Reason: removed names
Me: 35
Her: 31
Together: 05/03/2002
Married: 10/14/2004
Children: D10,D8,S5
Bomb: 08/26/2014
Wife's Affair Ended 10/01/2015
Reconciliation, without commitment .... Yet
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Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239
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Posts: 11,239 |
Billman,
In your email to Dr. Harley, did you tell him about your other child and how the girl got pregnant?
If not, you will need to email him again and tell him. Ask if he recommends that you take a polygraph as part of Plan A and what specific questions you should answer.
It is extremely important that you follow his program to a t and do not deviate from his plan at all.
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Posts: 278
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Just found out from her brother that she had recently broken up with the OM, then took him back. I do not have any other details about this, but it sounds like good news as far as their breaking up. My emotions are under control and I will do nothing . But MAN do I wish there was. The sooner they end, the better my chances.
Me: 35
Her: 31
Together: 05/03/2002
Married: 10/14/2004
Children: D10,D8,S5
Bomb: 08/26/2014
Wife's Affair Ended 10/01/2015
Reconciliation, without commitment .... Yet
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Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239
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Posts: 11,239 |
Just found out from her brother that she had recently broken up with the OM, then took him back. I do not have any other details about this, but it sounds like good news as far as their breaking up. My emotions are under control and I will do nothing . But MAN do I wish there was. The sooner they end, the better my chances. Very few affairs last longer than 6 months. So the odds are, their affair will die. Did you email Dr. Harley the question about the polygraph?
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I pray the affair ends before Christmas. not that we would get back together that quickly. But at least then I may be able to open presents under the same tree together....maybe.
I did yes. No reply yet.
Me: 35
Her: 31
Together: 05/03/2002
Married: 10/14/2004
Children: D10,D8,S5
Bomb: 08/26/2014
Wife's Affair Ended 10/01/2015
Reconciliation, without commitment .... Yet
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Joined: Nov 2014
Posts: 278
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Joined: Nov 2014
Posts: 278 |
Could the exposure have been what pushed them back together?
Me: 35
Her: 31
Together: 05/03/2002
Married: 10/14/2004
Children: D10,D8,S5
Bomb: 08/26/2014
Wife's Affair Ended 10/01/2015
Reconciliation, without commitment .... Yet
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Joined: Nov 2014
Posts: 278
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Joined: Nov 2014
Posts: 278 |
We talked for a short while today. My wife says she does not understand why I was so think headed, and unable to "hear" her when she told me what she wanted. What would be a good read that I might suggest to her to assist her understanding that I as a man am more normal than she'd like to believe?
Me: 35
Her: 31
Together: 05/03/2002
Married: 10/14/2004
Children: D10,D8,S5
Bomb: 08/26/2014
Wife's Affair Ended 10/01/2015
Reconciliation, without commitment .... Yet
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Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239
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Posts: 11,239 |
We talked for a short while today. My wife says she does not understand why I was so think headed, and unable to "hear" her when she told me what she wanted. What would be a good read that I might suggest to her to assist her understanding that I as a man am more normal than she'd like to believe? Sir, Stop listening to her wayward garbage. Have you ever had a conversation with a drunk? I learned as a teenager that it's a futile effort! This is what I suggest: Just tell her this sentence: " I am willing to work with you to create a loving healthy marriage but you must first end your affair"
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Posts: 11,239
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Could the exposure have been what pushed them back together? According to Dr. Harley, exposure speeds up the death of an affair.
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This is what I suggest: Just tell her this sentence: " I am willing to work with you to create a loving healthy marriage but you must first end your affair" I don't think we are ready for that part yet. I would love the idea of putting my foot down here, but I am not sure if she is ready to "commit" thus far.
Me: 35
Her: 31
Together: 05/03/2002
Married: 10/14/2004
Children: D10,D8,S5
Bomb: 08/26/2014
Wife's Affair Ended 10/01/2015
Reconciliation, without commitment .... Yet
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Joined: Jun 2013
Posts: 1,391
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Posts: 1,391 |
This is what I suggest: Just tell her this sentence: " I am willing to work with you to create a loving healthy marriage but you must first end your affair" I don't think we are ready for that part yet. I would love the idea of putting my foot down here, but I am not sure if she is ready to "commit" thus far. Of couse she is not ready for that yet. But it plants some seeds. LTL
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