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I agree with oyu. I aslo know that Grammie has told my daughter that God was against us staying together and he wants mommy to be happy in the "relationship" she is in. Mommy has also told the children that she hates me and I am a F*** up. And of course that all this is my fault. I have told my oldest this is untrue, and I can see in her eyes she understands or at least accepts my side of that story (never bad mouthed mommy). But I also know my daughter is afraid of mommy yelling at her when she tried to talk to mommy - so wife will only hear what she wants anyway.
Me: 35
Her: 31
Together: 05/03/2002
Married: 10/14/2004
Children: D10,D8,S5
Bomb: 08/26/2014
Wife's Affair Ended 10/01/2015
Reconciliation, without commitment .... Yet
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I'd focus on keeping your side of the street clean (Plan A) and conduct yourself honorably towards them. What you just said tells me you are dealing with people who have difficulty being honest and you can't control that. But it is extremely frustrating.
Keep improving and doing what is right. The contrast in behavior will speak volumes if you can keep up a good Plan A, even if you end up moving on. You are willing to admit your faults and try to improve yourself and that is half the battle. Don't give up on that.
Happily remarried to wonderful woman who I found using the guidelines in "Buyers, Renters, Freeloaders" 2 baby boys, working on #3 and couldn't ask for anything more. When my ex's affair happened: BH 28, Ex-WW:29 Married: 7 years Together: 8 years D-day: 10/5/2014 D filed: 1/22/2015 D Final: 6/4/2015 My story
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I agree with axslinger 100%. You can only control you.
I know WW can make it feel like everyone is against you. Don't forget that there is an entire world outside of her fog that won't be fooled by her garbage. This forum is an excellent example of that.
BH 31
Married 5 years
D day-10/8/14
Separated-10/27/14
1 DS3
1 DSS13
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Indeed. And I agree also 100%. It is just unfortunate that I do not have better means to handle the situation with the children. I am going to court in the morning to find about visitation and an order preventing OM near them.
Me: 35
Her: 31
Together: 05/03/2002
Married: 10/14/2004
Children: D10,D8,S5
Bomb: 08/26/2014
Wife's Affair Ended 10/01/2015
Reconciliation, without commitment .... Yet
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Indeed. And I agree also 100%. It is just unfortunate that I do not have better means to handle the situation with the children. I am going to court in the morning to find about visitation and an order preventing OM near them. Do you have an attorney?
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No i do not. I am looking into legal aid, but I fear I make too much. I was thinking of trying to find a student at the local college who might be willing to get his hands dirty. Unless you have another option? 
Me: 35
Her: 31
Together: 05/03/2002
Married: 10/14/2004
Children: D10,D8,S5
Bomb: 08/26/2014
Wife's Affair Ended 10/01/2015
Reconciliation, without commitment .... Yet
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No i do not. I am looking into legal aid, but I fear I make too much. I was thinking of trying to find a student at the local college who might be willing to get his hands dirty. Unless you have another option? Don't go to court without an attorney. It is not a Do It Yourself project sir. The decisions of the court affect the lives of you and your children. Get an attorney. College students cant help you in court either.
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Me: 35
Her: 31
Together: 05/03/2002
Married: 10/14/2004
Children: D10,D8,S5
Bomb: 08/26/2014
Wife's Affair Ended 10/01/2015
Reconciliation, without commitment .... Yet
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Posts: 11,239
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Sir,
My wife was having an affair with a convicted felon. A man that went to prison for trying to murder his daughter.
Fortunately, I was able to file for divorce and obtain primary custody of my 3 children. However, I would not have been able to do so on my own.
Courtrooms are like shark tanks and you need attorneys by your side in there.
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Listen to Jedi
You must have an attorney, one that knows the courtroom and knows how the judges act/tendencies.
Once you go to court it is a whole new type of "war".
Don't reveal anything to your wayward about your court plans, EVER!
Document, document, document in your own handwriting.
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Have not spoken to her in over two weeks. Noticed I was unblocked by her on FB for at least a few days, blocked again though. She asked me a few days ago stating "I need you to sign a paper for me saying I can claim the kids on taxes" - I never replied to it.
Me: 35
Her: 31
Together: 05/03/2002
Married: 10/14/2004
Children: D10,D8,S5
Bomb: 08/26/2014
Wife's Affair Ended 10/01/2015
Reconciliation, without commitment .... Yet
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Get your taxes done first and file ASAP. You claim the kids.
Your still married, is she filing seperately? Have you filed jointly in the past?
She is trying to "beat you to the bank" for a big tax refund.
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We have always filed Joint. but even if she does claim the kids, she cannot get earned income credit while filing married but separate.
Me: 35
Her: 31
Together: 05/03/2002
Married: 10/14/2004
Children: D10,D8,S5
Bomb: 08/26/2014
Wife's Affair Ended 10/01/2015
Reconciliation, without commitment .... Yet
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She could file head of household.
And then she gets the earned income credit.
Your marital status doesn't matter for that as long as you have dependent children....
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Get your taxes done first and file ASAP. You claim the kids.
Your still married, is she filing seperately? Have you filed jointly in the past?
She is trying to "beat you to the bank" for a big tax refund. What is the goal here? Billman, are you still doing the MB programme, or not? Isn't your wife separated from you, and aren't the kids living with her? I have seen no sign that you are fighting for the kids to live with you full-time. If that's the case, why would you claim for the kids on your tax return? Taxes are different here in the UK, so please explain your position to me.
BW
Married 1989
His PA 2003-2006
2 kids.
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In court I would have no standing for the kids living with me. I make less money than her, and barely enough to survive on myself. She (in the eyes of court) is not an "unfit mother - I would argue it, but no bearing in court.
I did not and will not sign the paper she requested. I cannot legally claim them because head of household requires the highest wage earner to file that status.
I have no intention of trying to file them on my return, it would make no difference - and would probably cause more issues than neccessary.
Me: 35
Her: 31
Together: 05/03/2002
Married: 10/14/2004
Children: D10,D8,S5
Bomb: 08/26/2014
Wife's Affair Ended 10/01/2015
Reconciliation, without commitment .... Yet
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In court I would have no standing for the kids living with me. I make less money than her, and barely enough to survive on myself. She (in the eyes of court) is not an "unfit mother - I would argue it, but no bearing in court.
I did not and will not sign the paper she requested. I cannot legally claim them because head of household requires the highest wage earner to file that status.
I have no intention of trying to file them on my return, it would make no difference - and would probably cause more issues than neccessary. I think what I'm trying to establish is: If you are living separately, and the kids live most of the time with only one of you, then surely only one of you can claim for the kids. Either you can claim, or she can. The parent that they live with makes the claim. Is that correct? I'm just trying to establish why another poster advised YOU to claim, when the kids do not live with you. Is there something I am missing about the US system?
BW
Married 1989
His PA 2003-2006
2 kids.
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No it is correct that only one can file, and that will be her. My only point in post was that I did not want to help her with any of the paperwork. Well I do, but not given the situation.
Me: 35
Her: 31
Together: 05/03/2002
Married: 10/14/2004
Children: D10,D8,S5
Bomb: 08/26/2014
Wife's Affair Ended 10/01/2015
Reconciliation, without commitment .... Yet
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Posts: 9,537 Likes: 9
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And what are you doing about following up exposure to her workplace?
BW
Married 1989
His PA 2003-2006
2 kids.
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No it is correct that only one can file, and that will be her. My only point in post was that I did not want to help her with any of the paperwork. Well I do, but not given the situation. Just an FYI that WW does not need you to sign that form. She may not realize it but she doesn't need it.
BW - me
exWH - serial cheater
2 awesome kids
Divorced 12/2011
Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.
We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
--------Eleanor Roosevelt
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