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1) No, I do not want a divorce. But filing for it is the only way to at least somewhat protect myself legally, as it even says on the "How to Plan B correctly" link.
2) It is my lawyer. He has not even met this person and is too dumb to go and get his own, and also claims he cannot even afford money to file.
3) As of right now, I have told him he can come see our child any time he likes at our apartment. But he cannot take him anywhere because he would and has said he would take the child around OW. Which would be completely inappropriate and confusing to the child. I have told him once we got our agreement finalized and filed, then he could take the child around the OW.
He has only seen our child a number of times. Apparently if he can't take the child to his new apartment to be around the OW, then he's not interested.
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It's not being covered up when it is on a public forum already, notified to all of their family and friends, also they work together and have already signed the appropriate papers stating to the employer that they are in a romantic relationship.
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Listen, you cant say you dont want to get divorced while at the same time refusing to fight for your marriage.
You should expose this irregardless of wether you get divorced or not.
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I'm not understanding how it is not exposed already.
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It's not being covered up when it is on a public forum already, notified to all of their family and friends, also they work together and have already signed the appropriate papers stating to the employer that they are in a romantic relationship. Yes, and the story to others is being spun by the adulterers: "Safetysuit and I have broken up and are getting divorced. Meet my new girlfriend, Sallyslut!" So, as far as everyone knows - due to your complicity - you and your H broke up and he has a new relationship. When the truth is this: "Joe has been having an affair for XXX months and has left me for Sally Slut." Your silence just enables him and OW to get everyone on board with his affair. If you exposed the affair, you could many people to support your marriage. But all of your actions - including your silence, reflect a lady who is DONE with her marriage.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I'm not understanding how it is not exposed already. Because you're not asking people to put pressure on ending the affair. It's just the rumour mill that's being told. No one knows you want to save your marriage because you haven't sent the exposure messages. Your silence is ending your marriage.
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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And if it is in fact true that it didn't start until after he left? Then what?
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1) No, I do not want a divorce. But filing for it is the only way to at least somewhat protect myself legally, as it even says on the "How to Plan B correctly" link. YOU ARE NOT IN PLAN B. Apparently you do want a divorce because you are not fighting for your marriage. NOR ARE YOU IN PLAN B. You haven't even done Plan A. Yu have done "Plan Hand my husband over to his OW."
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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And if it is in fact true that it didn't start until after he left? Then what? You are joking, right?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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It's not being covered up when it is on a public forum already, notified to all of their family and friends, also they work together and have already signed the appropriate papers stating to the employer that they are in a romantic relationship. Yes, the true facts are being covered up and you are enabling it.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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3) As of right now, I have told him he can come see our child any time he likes at our apartment. But he cannot take him anywhere because he would and has said he would take the child around OW. Which would be completely inappropriate and confusing to the child. I have told him once we got our agreement finalized and filed, then he could take the child around the OW. You're going to allow him taking your DS3 around his OW? Have you even stated to your lawyer you want it written in that he can't take him around OW? What state are you in?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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I am in Oklahoma. And yes, we would have to go to court over that issue and by the time that happened the period of time will have passed that I would actually win that issue.
And no, of course I don't want to. But legally there is nothing that I can do. And besides, I have no one to go litigate everything anyway.
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And does it not matter the things he has said and apparently the way he feels? If there is no hope for this then why go through all of the trouble. He said to me after he left that he's been miserable our whole relationship, he wants nothing to do with me for the rest of our lives, he does not want to be with me nor will he ever again..he will never allow himself to be with me again, he doesn't love me and never did, he was never happy not even for a single moment, etc etc. Which I don't even believe any of that anyway, but if that's how he thinks he feels it doesn't sound like anything will change
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I would have no way of getting her address...anyway he going through with the divorce and they hsve now been dating for over a month. She's already living with him in his new apartment. They both claim nothing started until after he left There's a reason they all claim that. Shame! It's also why affairs don't survive exposure. Why can't you locate her address? Is she in the secret service or are you hoping for magic solutions?
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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And does it not matter the things he has said and apparently the way he feels? If there is no hope for this then why go through all of the trouble. He said to me after he left that he's been miserable our whole relationship, he wants nothing to do with me for the rest of our lives, he does not want to be with me nor will he ever again..he will never allow himself to be with me again, he doesn't love me and never did, he was never happy not even for a single moment, etc etc. Which I don't even believe any of that anyway, but if that's how he thinks he feels it doesn't sound like anything will change If you would have stayed around MB and educated by reading and listening to the advice, you would've found that ALL waywards rewrite history and they lie. Like MelodyLane has said that your enabling of the affair and not killing the affair lead you to right where you're at, heading for divorce.
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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I would have no way of getting her address...anyway he going through with the divorce and they hsve now been dating for over a month. She's already living with him in his new apartment. They both claim nothing started until after he left You can put a GPS on his car. You can google her name and phone number. You can follow him. You sound defeated. I know that feeling so well. Don't give up! This is not over yet unless you want it to be! Follow the advice of the veterans to the letter. Also, Dr Harley recommends considering antidepressants for a short time to get you through this. That has helped me immensely.
Me BW
Married 18 years before D-day
Kiddos - 15, 13, 6, 1
D-day - 10/14/14 Plan B - 11/30/14
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I would have no way of getting her address...anyway he going through with the divorce and they hsve now been dating for over a month. She's already living with him in his new apartment. They both claim nothing started until after he left Then his confession is all the evidence you need. He's divorcing you for his live in mistress
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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And does it not matter the things he has said and apparently the way he feels? No, it doesn't matter. The reason is because he is fogged out and high on an affair. The affair has clouded his thinking. I think what has happened here is that your husband has always pisspoor boundaries around other women and has been trolling for action for a long time. This has been a sore spot with you [naturally] and you reacted with anger. He has used your reaction against you to justify cheating on you and leaving you. It might be in your best interest to get divorced because it seems his philosophy of marriage is warped. He believes it is ok to have friends of the opposite sex.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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And does it not matter the things he has said and apparently the way he feels? No, it doesn't matter. The reason is because he is fogged out and high on an affair. The affair has clouded his thinking. I think what has happened here is that your husband has always pisspoor boundaries around other women and has been trolling for action for a long time. This has been a sore spot with you [naturally] and you reacted with anger. He has used your reaction against you to justify cheating on you and leaving you. It might be in your best interest to get divorced because it seems his philosophy of marriage is warped. He believes it is ok to have friends of the opposite sex. I agree. His long history of trolling for women hasn't changed. Protect yourself from his continued abuse and go and stay into Plan B even after your divorce. You deserve so much more.
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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