Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 33 of 68 1 2 31 32 33 34 35 67 68
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 991
P
Member
OP Offline
Member
P
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 991
You are right Reading, as usual.

It broke my heart because it didn't have to happen. Such a waste. If you could have seen us even just a couple of months before this....

Oh well. I didn't choose it. He is free to ruin his own life, it just isn't fair to my baby.


Me: 38, have been divorced for 4 years
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 991
P
Member
OP Offline
Member
P
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 991
So here is one thing that a few of us have learned recently that the vets might want to consider: apparently you can pay $200 and get a post removed from Cheaterville without arbitration.

So, I would recommend also posting on liarschearsrus, badboyreport, playerblock, shesahomewrecker and cheater registry all at the same time. I assume one can still pay to get these removed...but then it becomes super time consuming and expensive to do so. And I also assume that there is varying degrees of difficulty around getting these removed.

War. Use overwhelming force.


Me: 38, have been divorced for 4 years
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 968
Likes: 1
A
Member
Offline
Member
A
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 968
Likes: 1
^Agree.

I think it's amusing that the OW in your situation went through all of the effort to figure out that you can pay for removal. OM and WW in my situation are furious about his Cheaterville post and yet it's still up. I guess they are just less motivated. laugh

PlayerBlock does work, by the way. OM in my situation mentioned specifically "getting calls/texts from random people harassing me" as a complaint in his restraining order he filed (which was dismissed). I got a pretty good chuckle out of it.


Happily remarried to wonderful woman who I found using the guidelines in "Buyers, Renters, Freeloaders"
2 baby boys, working on #3 and couldn't ask for anything more.

When my ex's affair happened: BH 28, Ex-WW:29
Married: 7 years
Together: 8 years
D-day: 10/5/2014
D filed: 1/22/2015
D Final: 6/4/2015

My story
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,440
Likes: 4
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,440
Likes: 4
Originally Posted by PigletWiglet
So here is one thing that a few of us have learned recently that the vets might want to consider: apparently you can pay $200 and get a post removed from Cheaterville without arbitration.

So, I would recommend also posting on liarschearsrus, badboyreport, playerblock, shesahomewrecker and cheater registry all at the same time. I assume one can still pay to get these removed...but then it becomes super time consuming and expensive to do so. And I also assume that there is varying degrees of difficulty around getting these removed.

War. Use overwhelming force.
Thanks for letting us all know.


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,650
I
Member
Offline
Member
I
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,650
Originally Posted by PigletWiglet
My kid was wearing headphones while talking with her dad in skype tonight. I heard her say after 5 mins, "I don't want to talk to you because I don't love you daddy." Oy vey, I know that it's a natural consequence of his actions, but that broke my heart.


She sounds like a feisty one!



What would you do if you were not afraid?

"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.

Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,650
I
Member
Offline
Member
I
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,650
Originally Posted by PigletWiglet
So here is one thing that a few of us have learned recently that the vets might want to consider: apparently you can pay $200 and get a post removed from Cheaterville without arbitration.

So, I would recommend also posting on liarschearsrus, badboyreport, playerblock, shesahomewrecker and cheater registry all at the same time. I assume one can still pay to get these removed...


Now that IS disappointing. However with such a need for exposure in the world surely a site will realise they need to meet that need properly sooner or later.



What would you do if you were not afraid?

"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.

Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 863
N
Member
Offline
Member
N
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 863
Originally Posted by PigletWiglet
So, I would recommend also posting on liarschearsrus, badboyreport, playerblock, shesahomewrecker and cheater registry all at the same time. I assume one can still pay to get these removed...but then it becomes super time consuming and expensive to do so. And I also assume that there is varying degrees of difficulty around getting these removed.

War. Use overwhelming force.

Thanks for that. Somehow I had missed cheater registry. I remedied that just now.


Remarried 7/16
Thanks MB!
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 6,108
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 6,108
Originally Posted by PigletWiglet
So here is one thing that a few of us have learned recently that the vets might want to consider: apparently you can pay $200 and get a post removed from Cheaterville without arbitration.

Nice MrRollieEyes



BW - me
exWH - serial cheater
2 awesome kids
Divorced 12/2011




Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.

We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
--------Eleanor Roosevelt
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 863
N
Member
Offline
Member
N
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 863
Originally Posted by PigletWiglet
So here is one thing that a few of us have learned recently that the vets might want to consider: apparently you can pay $200 and get a post removed from Cheaterville without arbitration.

On a positive note, if the AP pays to have their name removed from CV, then it's a pretty sure bet they are uncomfortable with it, so we can be sure that it hit its mark and that they're equally distraught over the other sites that aren't as easy to be removed from...

After I put the AP on badboyreport.kr, she shut her Facebook account down. Coincidence?

By the way, PW, I searched your H's AP's name on Google, and her exposure site hits are bunched together on the second page. Very hard to miss!


Remarried 7/16
Thanks MB!
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 991
P
Member
OP Offline
Member
P
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 991
Yes nmwb77, I checked this morning and saw that. LOL.

The only thing about the other sites is that their search engine optimization is not as good. Cheater Registry doesn't even show up in the engine...BUT they allow you to post phone numbers, so even if playerblock gets taken down its still up on Cheater Registry.

Anyway, I can't even imagine the conflict this is causing between them. He probably will not lift a finger to help her (yeay!).

Also, my OW deactivated her inane tumblr page (which she used to send me thinly veiled messages about her victory with man-stealing) and set her facebook page and instagram to private.


Me: 38, have been divorced for 4 years
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 6,108
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 6,108
PW, how was your weekend? Did you have some fun? No drama with child exchanges?


BW - me
exWH - serial cheater
2 awesome kids
Divorced 12/2011




Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.

We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
--------Eleanor Roosevelt
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 991
P
Member
OP Offline
Member
P
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 991
My weekend was good. It always feels weird to me to be away from my daughter for more than one day, but it was ok. I went to a potluck with a friend, and I sort of feel weird when talking about my daughter because people assume I am married (which I still am, but obviously not in the normal sense). I went to a MOPs (mothers of preschoolers) meeting the other day and had the same experience when the women went around the table talking about their husbands. I just said, "I am separated from my husband because he was unfaithful and right now the plan is to file for divorce as soon as I am able to." Of course, that starts a whole conversation, which I am fine with, but yeah, being a single, almost-divorced parent is a little strange. I have only received support, but I need to get a bit used to it.

But other than that, it was great. Lots of good food and friends over the weekend.

So drama...no, not really. I didn't have anyone to be my physical IM when he dropped her off (I tried, but my dad is traveling and my physical IM was not in town). So when he came to the door, I just stayed behind it completely with my headphones on. Then I just gently closed it when she walked inside. I could not see or hear him and I made sure not to go to the window for at least 10 mins to fully ensure that he was gone. No drama.


Me: 38, have been divorced for 4 years
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 991
P
Member
OP Offline
Member
P
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 991
Originally Posted by indiegirl
Originally Posted by PigletWiglet
My kid was wearing headphones while talking with her dad in skype tonight. I heard her say after 5 mins, "I don't want to talk to you because I don't love you daddy." Oy vey, I know that it's a natural consequence of his actions, but that broke my heart.


She sounds like a feisty one!

Gets it from mama.


Me: 38, have been divorced for 4 years
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 6,108
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 6,108
Good deal smile



BW - me
exWH - serial cheater
2 awesome kids
Divorced 12/2011




Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.

We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
--------Eleanor Roosevelt
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,650
I
Member
Offline
Member
I
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,650
Originally Posted by PigletWiglet
I sort of feel weird when talking about my daughter because people assume I am married (which I still am, but obviously not in the normal sense). I went to a MOPs (mothers of preschoolers) meeting the other day and had the same experience when the women went around the table talking about their husbands. I just said, "I am separated from my husband because he was unfaithful and right now the plan is to file for divorce as soon as I am able to." Of course, that starts a whole conversation, which I am fine with, but yeah, being a single, almost-divorced parent is a little strange. I have only received support, but I need to get a bit used to it.


Ah, deja vu.


Originally Posted by indiegirl
I began my evening class today. Have to re-do my maths qualification if I want to go back to uni and eventually teach English (which makes no sense as I have an English degree, but there you have our crazy government)

The people all seem nice. Everyone, except for some really young lads, has a husband and kids at home. They seemed to feel sorry for me when I said I was separated, though I am sure they were just being nice. There was also a happy, chatty, newlywed. She was torture.

Had myself a pity party while driving myself home, so I gave myself a good talking to when I pulled up outside.

I am not simply separated - I have gotten myself out of a terrible situation. I am either on the eve of making my marriage extraordinary, or finding out what single Indie is really like! This could be chapter one of a really great love story which is waiting for me, too.

(though this summary is tricky to tell strangers)

So there, sad voices in my head who wont shut up when they are told.




What would you do if you were not afraid?

"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.

Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 968
Likes: 1
A
Member
Offline
Member
A
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 968
Likes: 1
^Yep, I deal with this one too.

I married much younger than a lot of the young adults at my church, and now am helping with a college/career/young adults ministry there. Many of the older adults at my church realize my circumstances, but apparently some of the young adults have not and have asked me if I'm married or even about WW in the last couple weeks. That's a fun conversation.

Also many of them are newlyweds which is awkward.


Happily remarried to wonderful woman who I found using the guidelines in "Buyers, Renters, Freeloaders"
2 baby boys, working on #3 and couldn't ask for anything more.

When my ex's affair happened: BH 28, Ex-WW:29
Married: 7 years
Together: 8 years
D-day: 10/5/2014
D filed: 1/22/2015
D Final: 6/4/2015

My story
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 991
P
Member
OP Offline
Member
P
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 991
I agree, being at church is a sometimes painful, although for the most part it is a source of comfort and support. The church that I attend is small and I just moved here so I am getting to know people. I am just fully upfront with them about what is going on since I am always just there with my daughter alone.

My church is small, but I live near Saddleback Church (Purpose Driven Life, etc) and they have a very established divorce recovery and single parents ministry, so I am really grateful for that and I think I will find support there. I am fairly sure almost everyone there will have dealt with affairs, addictions and abuse (or some combination of those) and will understand my situation.


Me: 38, have been divorced for 4 years
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239
J
Member
Offline
Member
J
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239
The other day at Girl Scouts one of the moms asked me to bring some paperwork home to my wife...I really dont know why people mAke assumptions like thAt anymore.
We have more single homes than married ones, people living together, gay marriage etc. You would think people would not make assumptions but they do.

Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 991
P
Member
OP Offline
Member
P
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 991
One thing on the posting conversation we had yesterday--

I looked up the "arbitration" websites and they are basically just ransom sites. You can pay to get a posting taken off a major site for anywhere from between $200-$400 and if you want your entire google search cleaned up you can pay $1,500. So, its expensive, but these guys basically will take money to take down even true stories that are backed by evidence.

This makes sense. I never understood how cheaterville got so many hits after the posting is off the front page. It probably doesn't. They probably have software that simulates hits to the website so that it eventually becomes the first posting in order to make money on take downs.

The other sites probably don't do this, or do a less sophisticated version of it, so that the postings are usually not on the front page.


Me: 38, have been divorced for 4 years
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 2,708
R
Member
Offline
Member
R
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 2,708
Don't fret about cheaterville etc anymore.

You have flung your canons into the air and have gone to a new land to thrive.

Now. Thrive. (I like putting a hair band on my wrist to snap when turning thoughts to ruminate about the situation of a marriage turned sour).








Page 33 of 68 1 2 31 32 33 34 35 67 68

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 369 guests, and 46 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
Bibbyryan860, Ian T, SadNewYorker, Jay Handlooms, GrenHeil
71,838 Registered Users
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 1995-2019, Marriage Builders®. All Rights Reserved.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5