Mark, if you are not using the forum to implement this program, we are going to lock this thread. It is a distraction from our mission to come here and fight with posters who are giving you the steps for recovery. If you are not going to follow the program there is no point in keeping it open. Do you have a question for the posters on ways to implement first steps?
Thank you for your comments.
This is what I have done so far:
Checklist for How Affairs Should End
The unfaithful spouse should reveal information about the affair to the betrayed spouse. Done.
The unfaithful spouse should make a commitment to the betrayed spouse to never see or talk to the lover OP again. Done.
The unfaithful spouse should write a letter to the lover OP ending the relationship and send it with the approval of the betrayed spouse. Done.
The unfaithful spouse should take extraordinary precautions to guarantee total separation from the lover OP: Difficult to achieve, but she's making the effort.
Block potential communication with the lover OP (change e-mail address and home and cell phone numbers, and close all social networking accounts; have voice messages and mail monitored by the betrayed spouse). Done.
Account for time (betrayed spouse and wayward spouse give each other a twenty-four-hour daily schedule with locations and telephone numbers). Doing this.
Account for money (betrayed spouse and wayward spouse give each other a complete account of all money spent). Doing this.
Spend leisure time together. Doing this.
Change jobs and relocate if necessary. As explained, cannot do this under any circumstances.
Avoid overnight separation. We are never separate overnight, never have been, except when one of us had to go overseas for sport or other commitments.
Allow technical accountability. Doing this.
Expose affair to family members, clergy, and/or friends. Have so far exposed to some friends, some family and our pastor, also to marriage councillor.
I'm not fighting with anyone - I do ask though that advice be given that will not result in the complete implosion of our livelyhood. If you feel that's reason to lock the thread, then go right ahead.