|
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239
Member
|
Member
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239 |
Can Queenie help her son in law with exposure? Do you know who this OM is?
Would it be helpful for Queenie to have a discussion with OM's parents and encourage them to talk to OM and ask him to stay out of her daughter's marriage?
It doesn't seem like Jude is going to expose, so can Queenie help him along? The MIL cannot save the marriage if the husband is unwilling to fight for his marriage. However she can expose it and make it clear to her daughter that she does not support it. The most effective way for the MIL to do this is call the OM and tell him that his shadow will NEVER darken her doorway and also call the OM parents and let them know she will never allow him in her home.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,650
Member
|
Member
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,650 |
He is serious, however... He is young and all over the map like so many of us were in the beginning. He isn't a very trusting person in general and he doesn't know you like I do.... he also has a bit of short term memory.
However, I have watched him these past few weeks, mistakes and all. And he is trying the best he knows how today... Is he going to do any exposure at all? It's hopeless if not. Hey, he is free to walk away, for many adultery is a deal breaker. But if he were to expose before doing that it keeps all options open and will help him access support if nothing else. Queenie if your SiL won't expose, I would send him off to a pit bull lawyer, tell him not to go easy on her and bid him adieu. Then oppose and expose the A yourself and wait for its natural expiration date.
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2015
Posts: 4
Junior Member
|
OP
Junior Member
Joined: Feb 2015
Posts: 4 |
Thanks for all your thoughtful words. Right now the friend who is assisting in exposing all of this is out with the W for coffee at the moment. I'm figuring out how quickly, if at all, she wants a divorce.
I don't know your acronyms that well, but the guy has a young kid, roughly 5 or 6. I don't know the story about his kids mom. His FB is private and he blocked me, so finding out who is ex or current girlfriend/wife will be impossible.
The wife lie's to me everytime she goes out, it's always her closest friend is the primary excuse. Today she took a 25 minute shower, she never, ever, takes that long. I looked at the razor and sure enough, a couple longer hairs that wouldn't come from legs. =\
My wife has given a list of excuses to everyone to justify her behavior.. She feels like she never had the chance to go see what's out there as soon as she left her parents house she was at my apartment.
I've told her deep down inside I know she's had sex with this man. But all she does is deny deny deny. All I have at this moment is one of her close girlfriends opening up to me over messenger and I have screenshots. I don't know how well that would hold up in court.. but everytime I push her at this point.. the more she runs to him, as I'm the source of all these bad feelings/emotions in her life (According to her).
I had access to her find my iphone app but blew it by hitting the sound button. In doing that she knows I keylogged her PW the night I told her I couldn't log into FB and had her give it a shot for me. Her phone is on her at all times. I know of a location that she hangs out at, I'm not quite sure if it's his house or a mutual friends house. Ultimately, I want pictures, proof.. and full custody of my child.
-Jude
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 1,152
Member
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 1,152 |
You may have to put spyware on her iphone, if you get your hands on that or put a voice activated recorder in a room where she is most likely to call the other man. If that does not work, have her followed around, by a PI if nessecary.
Where does she leave your child if she goes to the other man? I sure hope you are not babysitting while she is getting it on with OM?
me, DH all the children
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239
Member
|
Member
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239 |
Thanks for all your thoughtful words. Right now the friend who is assisting in exposing all of this is out with the W for coffee at the moment. I'm figuring out how quickly, if at all, she wants a divorce.
I don't know your acronyms that well, but the guy has a young kid, roughly 5 or 6. I don't know the story about his kids mom. His FB is private and he blocked me, so finding out who is ex or current girlfriend/wife will be impossible.
The wife lie's to me everytime she goes out, it's always her closest friend is the primary excuse. Today she took a 25 minute shower, she never, ever, takes that long. I looked at the razor and sure enough, a couple longer hairs that wouldn't come from legs. =\
My wife has given a list of excuses to everyone to justify her behavior.. She feels like she never had the chance to go see what's out there as soon as she left her parents house she was at my apartment.
I've told her deep down inside I know she's had sex with this man. But all she does is deny deny deny. All I have at this moment is one of her close girlfriends opening up to me over messenger and I have screenshots. I don't know how well that would hold up in court.. but everytime I push her at this point.. the more she runs to him, as I'm the source of all these bad feelings/emotions in her life (According to her).
I had access to her find my iphone app but blew it by hitting the sound button. In doing that she knows I keylogged her PW the night I told her I couldn't log into FB and had her give it a shot for me. Her phone is on her at all times. I know of a location that she hangs out at, I'm not quite sure if it's his house or a mutual friends house. Ultimately, I want pictures, proof.. and full custody of my child.
-Jude Jude, The purpose of this forum is not to offer thoughtful words. It is to offer Dr. Harley's methods for saving marriages. We can help you and give you a plan for saving your marriage if you want it but you need to tell us if you will follow it or not. I don't want to waste my time posting to you if you have no intention of following Dr. Harley's plan.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2015
Posts: 4
Junior Member
|
OP
Junior Member
Joined: Feb 2015
Posts: 4 |
I will read into the plan. I want to get a PI to find out where this guy lives and get some dirt but I feel like they will do majority of all dirt inside the house.
I'm going to get out for a bit to get some air. I'm going to look into getting a gps tracker and put it on her car.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,650
Member
|
Member
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,650 |
My wife has given a list of excuses to everyone to justify her behavior.. I've told her deep down inside I know she's had sex with this man. But all she does is deny deny deny. - First of all - stop having heavy discussions with your wife. She is not going to say anything sensible and she would deny it if they were having sex in front of you. The affair affects her brain like a powerful drug stimulant. It's like having a chat with a drunk - totally pointless! She is also in a very confused mind set so these conversations are very distressing to her too. Keep it brief and gentle but firm. Don't waste time on words - kill the affair and she gets her brain back.
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
|
|
|
Moderated by Ariel, BerlinMB, Denali, Fordude, IrishGreen, MBeliever, MBsurvivor, MBSync, McLovin, Mizar, PhoenixMB, Toujours
0 members (),
153
guests, and
48
robots. |
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
|
|