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WH drove by here last night while I was putting the 4yo to bed. 14yo told me he thought he saw his car. Then WH texted him and told him you probably saw me drive by - I was just checking out road conditions. Dude. I don't care if you want to risk life and limb driving after the governor has declared a state of emergency and urged everyone to stay home, but I'll be *censored* if I'm going to let you take my babies on the road we spent the afternoon sledding on! What in the world??
Me BW
Married 18 years before D-day
Kiddos - 15, 13, 6, 1
D-day - 10/14/14 Plan B - 11/30/14
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So, we have another ice storm coming, with our area expected to be hit hard. Storm warning starts at noon tomorrow. I am trying to decide what to do about the kids visiting WH tomorrow. When he's scheduled to pick them up in the morning, it should be fine. I don't want to cancel the visit based on a prediction. But I don't want to chance the breastfeeding baby being stuck away from me. If the roads get bad, I would just tell him to keep the kids there. Except for the baby. What to do? Tell him to bring her home at the first snowflake? Or have her home at noon? Let him keep the others for the rest of the visit or have him bring them all back when the weather starts?
Me BW
Married 18 years before D-day
Kiddos - 15, 13, 6, 1
D-day - 10/14/14 Plan B - 11/30/14
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If your governor has declared the state of emergency, I would not let him take the children by car. Can't he play with them at a safe place near where you live?
As to the baby, I would tell him what you told us and he can see the baby next time.
me, DH
all the children
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If your governor has declared the state of emergency, I would not let him take the children by car. Can't he play with them at a safe place near where you live?
As to the baby, I would tell him what you told us and he can see the baby next time. Most of the roads have cleared. The hill out of our neighborhood is clear, and there are only main roads to his apartment after that. With temps expected to stay well below freezing and wind chills below zero, I wouldn't want them to be outside for long, and to get them anywhere to play inside he would have to leave my neighborhood so he might as well take them to his apartment. Does that make sense?
Me BW
Married 18 years before D-day
Kiddos - 15, 13, 6, 1
D-day - 10/14/14 Plan B - 11/30/14
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WH is supposed to pick the kids up at 5:30 today. He just texted my 14yo that he'd be late - hopes to be here by 6. Do I need to acknowledge this? Tell him to communicate only through the IM? I was planning to leave as soon as he got here - do I tell him h can come when I'll be home and go ahead and go?
Me BW
Married 18 years before D-day
Kiddos - 15, 13, 6, 1
D-day - 10/14/14 Plan B - 11/30/14
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WH is supposed to pick the kids up at 5:30 today. He just texted my 14yo that he'd be late - hopes to be here by 6. Do I need to acknowledge this? Tell him to communicate only through the IM? I was planning to leave as soon as he got here - do I tell him h can come when I'll be home and go ahead and go? Do nothing.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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WH is supposed to pick the kids up at 5:30 today. He just texted my 14yo that he'd be late - hopes to be here by 6. Do I need to acknowledge this? Tell him to communicate only through the IM? I was planning to leave as soon as he got here - do I tell him h can come when I'll be home and go ahead and go? Do nothing. That is so much harder than doing something. But it's what I did. Thanks ML.
Me BW
Married 18 years before D-day
Kiddos - 15, 13, 6, 1
D-day - 10/14/14 Plan B - 11/30/14
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WH is supposed to pick the kids up at 5:30 today. He just texted my 14yo that he'd be late - hopes to be here by 6. Do I need to acknowledge this? Tell him to communicate only through the IM? I was planning to leave as soon as he got here - do I tell him h can come when I'll be home and go ahead and go? Do nothing. That is so much harder than doing something. But it's what I did. Thanks ML. Good girl!! Only communicate with him when it is IMPERATIVE.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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WH is supposed to pick the kids up at 5:30 today. He just texted my 14yo that he'd be late - hopes to be here by 6. Do I need to acknowledge this? Tell him to communicate only through the IM? I was planning to leave as soon as he got here - do I tell him h can come when I'll be home and go ahead and go? This happens to me almost every weekend with my ex wife. She tries to bypass the IM and send messages through thd kids. Most w aywards HATE going through an intermediary (for reasons I dont know) and fight the whole concept tooth and nail.
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This happens to me almost every weekend with my ex wife.
She tries to bypass the IM and send messages through thd kids.
Most w aywards HATE going through an intermediary (for reasons I dont know) and fight the whole concept tooth and nail. So frustrating! I hate my son being in the middle. I know when he passed long the message he could see the irritation on my face, and I hate that.
Me BW
Married 18 years before D-day
Kiddos - 15, 13, 6, 1
D-day - 10/14/14 Plan B - 11/30/14
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WH was supposed to be here at 9:30 to pick up the kids. It is now 9:57 and he's not here. My 14yo has tried to call him and is getting no answer. What do I do? What if he shows up at 10:30 or something?
Me BW
Married 18 years before D-day
Kiddos - 15, 13, 6, 1
D-day - 10/14/14 Plan B - 11/30/14
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He just texted my 14yo that his snooze didn't work and he'll be here in ten minutes.
Me BW
Married 18 years before D-day
Kiddos - 15, 13, 6, 1
D-day - 10/14/14 Plan B - 11/30/14
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Do I just let this slide? He can just show up whenever he wants?
Me BW
Married 18 years before D-day
Kiddos - 15, 13, 6, 1
D-day - 10/14/14 Plan B - 11/30/14
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I am thinking back and what I think I was told to do was to take the kids to go do something fun if he didn't show up on time. Give about 1/2 hr or so but then go do something.
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He just texted my 14yo that his snooze didn't work and he'll be here in ten minutes. My IM told me to tell my kids to memorize this line: "Dad, please stop putting us in the middle and just contact xxx (IM)"
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He just texted my 14yo that his snooze didn't work and he'll be here in ten minutes. My IM told me to tell my kids to memorize this line: "Dad, please stop putting us in the middle and just contact xxx (IM)" Even though he was responding to the 14yo trying to contact him. Should I have had my IM try to contact him? He arrived today at 10:10. That's 40 minutes late. We had a situation before where he kept hanging the visiting time without a reason (or not one he was willing to tell me) and I finally told him no and after 30 minutes he would forfeit the visit, then he tried to show up at the later time anyway and I took the kids to the children's museum when we hit the thirty minute mark. Should I count that as fair warning, or remind him that 30 minutes is the limit? He messaged right at thirty minutes, should I have told him to forget it?
Me BW
Married 18 years before D-day
Kiddos - 15, 13, 6, 1
D-day - 10/14/14 Plan B - 11/30/14
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He knows the rules and the time to pick up the kids.
If he values visiting them, he will be on time at the designated pick up spot.
I would only allow between 5-15 minutes, and then leave.
That's not being unfair. He is showing how much he cares by being late regularly. Once he continues to miss out, "Maybe" he will get a clue. To me, being On Time means 10-15 minutes early to account for things out of my control.
You are not having him pick them up at your home, are you?
Leave and do something fun.
When he contacts the kids with an excuse, there response should point out that he was not there when he said he would be.
LTL
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LTL, he is picking them up at my home. It was the best way I could do it without having to see him. I don't have anyone near enough to use their house as a drop off. I may have to try to rethink that.
Me BW
Married 18 years before D-day
Kiddos - 15, 13, 6, 1
D-day - 10/14/14 Plan B - 11/30/14
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He just texted my 14yo that his snooze didn't work and he'll be here in ten minutes. My IM told me to tell my kids to memorize this line: "Dad, please stop putting us in the middle and just contact xxx (IM)" Even though he was responding to the 14yo trying to contact him. Should I have had my IM try to contact him? He arrived today at 10:10. That's 40 minutes late. We had a situation before where he kept hanging the visiting time without a reason (or not one he was willing to tell me) and I finally told him no and after 30 minutes he would forfeit the visit, then he tried to show up at the later time anyway and I took the kids to the children's museum when we hit the thirty minute mark. Should I count that as fair warning, or remind him that 30 minutes is the limit? He messaged right at thirty minutes, should I have told him to forget it? i would pack up and leave at 30 minutes late. He should forfeit his time. But you don't need to say anything.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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He just texted my 14yo that his snooze didn't work and he'll be here in ten minutes. My IM told me to tell my kids to memorize this line: "Dad, please stop putting us in the middle and just contact xxx (IM)" Even though he was responding to the 14yo trying to contact him. Should I have had my IM try to contact him? He arrived today at 10:10. That's 40 minutes late. We had a situation before where he kept hanging the visiting time without a reason (or not one he was willing to tell me) and I finally told him no and after 30 minutes he would forfeit the visit, then he tried to show up at the later time anyway and I took the kids to the children's museum when we hit the thirty minute mark. Should I count that as fair warning, or remind him that 30 minutes is the limit? He messaged right at thirty minutes, should I have told him to forget it? i would pack up and leave at 30 minutes late. He should forfeit his time. But you don't need to say anything. I was completely unprepared this time (still in my pajamas). I'll be ready from now on.
Me BW
Married 18 years before D-day
Kiddos - 15, 13, 6, 1
D-day - 10/14/14 Plan B - 11/30/14
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