Humm. I understand the skepticism, but I don't share it entirely.
First, need to look at the broader picture-- she's accepted to work on our marriage. That is a big step forward for me. You may believe that's a ploy to keep me docile, and that's fine.
Second, her parents intervention was truly taken at heart. She has a very strong bond with her dad and his word is strong with her. He called her out, told her what OM was really like, and strongly urged her to stay with her husband and kids.
Third, she admitted that she was in a vulnerable state, mad at me, and got caught up in her feelings for an old flame.
Fourth, she admitted that she's disgusted that he used the same lines on her sister. She realizes that he's going through a mid-life crisis of his own and he was using her.
Fifth, we communicated about our problems and promised to keep communication channels open to rebuild our relationship. We're taking it day by day.
Fifth, she unfriended OM. Deleting FB account is silly in my mind (but I get your arguments). Should I take away her cel phone? Home phone? Internet access? There are a thousand ways for her to get in touch with him again easily. She could delete her FB page and open a fake one, him too, and they can continue to chat that way. So I'm not asking for that. In fact, it's easier for me to monitor a known account!!
Remember, I can still monitor her actions online. I don't need to shoot myself in the foot and drive their potential communications underground.
The affair is dead. I'm satisfied with that (but will monitor). I have no doubt she will have some moments of sadness, I gather it's normal. But we still need to work hard on our relationship.
Even if in her mind, it's dead for now, it would take less than nothing to restart it as things stand.
Recovery is tough and she will remain addicted to this man for life. That's a fact. It's not like an ordinary relationship.
All it would take is for OM to have a moment of weakness and reach out to her with a 'how you doing?' This COMMONLY happens - it's happened even with people facing court martial in the army when withdrawal gets bad!
If that happens, it won't matter if you're watching. She will be triggered and will feel like he's risked all for her to do so.
He can't trigger her if she sends an NC letter and changes her phone and email. Without those changes she is WAITING for him to contact her. NC can't happen without those things.
These are such simple precautions it makes no sense whatsoever to leave these gates wide open for him.
Even if she has resolved not to contact him, you haven't prevented him contacting her when withdrawal gets tough. Men can love two women at once so they tend to think about OW for years afterwards Even if their marriage does well.
You are fundamentally misunderstanding the nature of addiction.
It's not felting FB that's silly, it's placing a silly website over your marriage that's crazy. You yourself have an EA brewing on FB.
Build a new marriage which is more important than the place where people tell each other what they had for lunch.