I did it!

Good. Now her wrath will be furious, her retribution swift.
make sure you keep a voice recorder hidden on you at all times.

Good. Now, gird yourself. Be strong. You are armed with the truth. Remember that when you feel weak.

Who did you expose to on WW's side?
Who did you expose to on OM's side?

Family, friends, church. 60 contacts in all. Asking others to help with om. I asked him to back off.

My kids are really upset. .. even the 5 yo.

TM, i know this is so very hard, but you did the right thing. Your children were vulnerable as long as they didn't know. Just hang in there and be strong. You did the right thing.

I can relate.
I also exposed to my 5 year old and im glad I did. Otherwise the kids often blame themselves when marriages fall apart

Hold the course now. For usual WW responses are to show anger, I am divorcing you, I was going to end the affair but after this not now. These rants are to scare you so that you are then to afraid to expose the affair any more.

Let her rant. Do not respond rather change the subject, such as I need a cookie would you like one. Keep plan A'ing.

her friends are just telling her about it now.. I am bracing. my friends and family seem to be supportive... her friends seems to be supporting her affair.

I cannot believe that their are people out their that would support an affair... what do I do with them?

Should I try to call my wife today or try to stay at work for a long time? what do I do now?

But they now know they can speak to you about anything puzzling or scary. They couldn't before.

Put them on your 'to be excluded from our new life in marital recovery' list. Watch them like hawks. I wouldn't bother replying to them. Thank your supporters though.



You won't need to seek her out. She's coming. Just brace yourself for when she does get hold of you. When she does just say you will not comply with cover ups, you are trying to save the marriage. Say you love her and you are sorry her affair is so embarrassing for her - but that's why it has to stop.

Your next task is simply to endure her rage calmly without buckling. When she sees you won't buckle the reality will hit her further that you are not going to roll over.

Don't take ages talking to her - just simply don't react to her and walk away and go do something else if you need to.

Cut them out of your life.

I hope that if I make self destructive decisions my friends will call me out on it and hold me accountable. She must have terrible friends.

She has one good friend and a bunch of terrible (alcoholic friends), and a bunch of boyfriends. That's why we live so far away. She left all that behind when we go married. Now they are the most important thing to her.

Is this really going to work?

Sometimes it works instantly. However more commonly it is just the 'start' of the affair ending. Exposure causes lots of trouble because they have been lying to people and are now caught out.

They pretty much always have a fight about it, they can't hide what they are doing any more, they lose the respect of any good friends.

Sometimes the support of bad friends (who probably knew about the A all along) keeps it going a while - but this is OK. Bad friends who do not really care about them will eventually let them down and they will start to miss their good friends.

The relationship comes under a lot of pressure - "I lost my realtionship with my family for you and you aren't making me happy (When this was still theoretical you said you would jump when I say jump)".

The kids know. The OP starts to feel like there is future and the step-monster fantasy falls apart and has no interest in being around them. Plus the kids will tell you if he comes round.

It can take up to 2 years for an A to end - 95 pc of them do within 2 years after exposure. If nothing else you have ran off a potential bad stepfather. This may work instantly, it may take time - but you have the support you need NOW to heal, to parent, to be more effective in this crisis.

She will not answer my calls but she is making alot of calls to others. I don't know what is going on and I don't know what to do. My attorney says not to go home... but I am missing my kids and I am not with them right now.