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Marriage Builders Forums Infidelity Surviving an Affair bitter angry wife

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Re: bitter angry wife typicalman #2851940 04/27/15 10:21 AM
Joined: Mar 2012 Posts: 577 N NebDane Member
NebDane Member N Joined: Mar 2012 Posts: 577	Just calm yourself. Why would he tell you not to go home? It is your home!!

Re: bitter angry wife NebDane #2851945 04/27/15 10:52 AM
Joined: Mar 2010 Posts: 7,362 Likes: 3 P Prisca Member
Prisca Member P Joined: Mar 2010 Posts: 7,362 Likes: 3	If you want to save your marriage, you need to go home. Why is your attorney telling you not to go home? Markos' Wife FWW - EA 8 kids ... What to do with an Angry Husband

Re: bitter angry wife typicalman #2851947 04/27/15 10:57 AM
Joined: Jun 2011 Posts: 11,650 UK I indiegirl Member
indiegirl Member I Joined: Jun 2011 Posts: 11,650 UK	Originally Posted by typicalman She will not answer my calls but she is making alot of calls to others. I don't know what is going on and I don't know what to do. My attorney says not to go home... but I am missing my kids and I am not with them right now. Why are you talking to an attorney about this?! It's key you go home and look unflappable. What would you do if you were not afraid? "Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.

Re: bitter angry wife indiegirl #2851948 04/27/15 11:06 AM
Joined: Apr 2015 Posts: 435 T typicalman OP Member
OP typicalman Member T Joined: Apr 2015 Posts: 435	He thinks she will call the police and claim abuse. I think I should go home and be with my kids. I don't know what awaits when I get there. My best guess is that she will lock herself in a room and not talk to me. I am a mess right now because she will not take my calls so I don't know what she is doing... I would probably feel better if I could hear her voice even if it's yelling at me.

Re: bitter angry wife typicalman #2851951 04/27/15 11:11 AM
Joined: Jul 2014 Posts: 863 N nmwb77 Member
nmwb77 Member N Joined: Jul 2014 Posts: 863	Take a voice-activated recorder with you so you can record everything. Remarried 7/16 Thanks MB!

Re: bitter angry wife typicalman #2851952 04/27/15 11:12 AM
Joined: Mar 2010 Posts: 7,362 Likes: 3 P Prisca Member
Prisca Member P Joined: Mar 2010 Posts: 7,362 Likes: 3	You need to go home. Don't fight with her. Don't debate the exposure. Simply go home. Remain calm. Wear a VAR if you are worried about allegations of abuse. But go home. Keep in mind she will likely be VERY ANGRY. But that's to be expected of a WW. Markos' Wife FWW - EA 8 kids ... What to do with an Angry Husband

Re: bitter angry wife typicalman #2851953 04/27/15 11:26 AM
Joined: Nov 2011 Posts: 11,239 Another universe J Jedi_Knight Member
Jedi_Knight Member J Joined: Nov 2011 Posts: 11,239 Another universe	Originally Posted by typicalman He thinks she will call the police and claim abuse. I think I should go home and be with my kids. I don't know what awaits when I get there. My best guess is that she will lock herself in a room and not talk to me. I am a mess right now because she will not take my calls so I don't know what she is doing... I would probably feel better if I could hear her voice even if it's yelling at me. You better go home and stay home. Keep a recorder on you at ALL times. (I slept with one in my pants when I was in similar boat)

Re: bitter angry wife typicalman #2851955 04/27/15 11:30 AM
Joined: Apr 2012 Posts: 3,197 U unwritten Member
unwritten Member U Joined: Apr 2012 Posts: 3,197	Originally Posted by typicalman I am a mess right now because she will not take my calls so I don't know what she is doing... I would probably feel better if I could hear her voice even if it's yelling at me. You need to get control of yourself and your emotions. You cannot repeatedly call her or go home 'a mess.' You need to go home with a calm, collected attitude and one that knows you did the right thing and NOT be willing to give into her anger/allegations/demands or whatever she throws at you. Can you do this? What are you planning to say to her if she does answer? What is your game plan?

Re: bitter angry wife typicalman #2851958 04/27/15 12:01 PM
Joined: Jun 2011 Posts: 11,650 UK I indiegirl Member
indiegirl Member I Joined: Jun 2011 Posts: 11,650 UK	Originally Posted by typicalman He thinks she will call the police and claim abuse. I think I should go home and be with my kids. I don't know what awaits when I get there. My best guess is that she will lock herself in a room and not talk to me. I am a mess right now because she will not take my calls so I don't know what she is doing... I would probably feel better if I could hear her voice even if it's yelling at me. It's still textbook. Being treated like leper. Means you hit a target! What would you do if you were not afraid? "Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.

Re: bitter angry wife indiegirl #2851961 04/27/15 12:13 PM
Joined: Apr 2015 Posts: 435 T typicalman OP Member
OP typicalman Member T Joined: Apr 2015 Posts: 435	One of her best friends is now on our side

Re: bitter angry wife typicalman #2851962 04/27/15 12:29 PM
Joined: Mar 2010 Posts: 7,362 Likes: 3 P Prisca Member
Prisca Member P Joined: Mar 2010 Posts: 7,362 Likes: 3	Way to go Are you going to go home? Markos' Wife FWW - EA 8 kids ... What to do with an Angry Husband

Re: bitter angry wife Prisca #2851965 04/27/15 12:54 PM
Joined: Apr 2015 Posts: 435 T typicalman OP Member
OP typicalman Member T Joined: Apr 2015 Posts: 435	I will go home when my work day is done. It will be the hardest door to open and walk through.

Re: bitter angry wife typicalman #2851966 04/27/15 12:57 PM
Joined: Nov 2011 Posts: 11,239 Another universe J Jedi_Knight Member
Jedi_Knight Member J Joined: Nov 2011 Posts: 11,239 Another universe	Originally Posted by typicalman I will go home when my work day is done. It will be the hardest door to open and walk through. Well do it. Whatever you do, do NOT let her talk you into leaving your home.

Re: bitter angry wife Jedi_Knight #2851967 04/27/15 12:59 PM
Joined: Nov 2011 Posts: 11,239 Another universe J Jedi_Knight Member
Jedi_Knight Member J Joined: Nov 2011 Posts: 11,239 Another universe	Read this thread also about the dangers of leaving your home: http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2795590&Searchpage=1&Main=147437&Words=%22men+do+not+leave+your+home%22&Search=true#Post2795590

Re: bitter angry wife Jedi_Knight #2851969 04/27/15 01:02 PM
Joined: Apr 2015 Posts: 435 T typicalman OP Member
OP typicalman Member T Joined: Apr 2015 Posts: 435	You know what is strange... my wife read his needs her needs. There is a chapter on surviving an affair which includes exposure. I told her in counseling that people would know if she did not stop the relationship. How could she possibly be surprised by this? Could someone be living in the fog that much?

Re: bitter angry wife typicalman #2851977 04/27/15 01:45 PM
Joined: Jun 2011 Posts: 11,650 UK I indiegirl Member
indiegirl Member I Joined: Jun 2011 Posts: 11,650 UK	Originally Posted by typicalman I will go home when my work day is done. It will be the hardest door to open and walk through. Apprehensiveness is harder to bear than action. Just get it over with. Once you do it, then it is done. As long as you don't lovebust or get drawn into a big conversation you're good. Originally Posted by typicalman You know what is strange... my wife read his needs her needs. There is a chapter on surviving an affair which includes exposure. I told her in counseling that people would know if she did not stop the relationship. How could she possibly be surprised by this? Could someone be living in the fog that much? Yes, yes and yes. Come to that how could ANYONE believe that the spouse they have betrayed will keep it quiet for you so you can carry on your affair? Yet pretty much without exception they all seem to howl like you have not told dear loved ones the truth -but like you have stuck pins in their eyes and ripped their pants off and set fire to them. Her behaviour is atypical. If she were being OK with you - I would be worried you had missed a target. We've seen it all before. It is all just so much noise and is supposed to get you to back off and stop messing with her affair. Don't fall for it. Last edited by indiegirl; 04/27/15 01:48 PM. What would you do if you were not afraid? "Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.

Re: bitter angry wife typicalman #2851978 04/27/15 01:46 PM
Joined: Jul 2014 Posts: 863 N nmwb77 Member
nmwb77 Member N Joined: Jul 2014 Posts: 863	Originally Posted by typicalman You know what is strange... my wife read his needs her needs. There is a chapter on surviving an affair which includes exposure. I told her in counseling that people would know if she did not stop the relationship. How could she possibly be surprised by this? Could someone be living in the fog that much? I told my wife that eventually everyone would know that our relationship ended because of her affair. She said she didn't care what other people thought, because she's going to live her own life from now on. But when I exposed the affair, she was furious! You could say I warned her, and you could say she gave me permission. Your wife is angry because she's wayward. They all get angry when their fantasy is threatened. Remarried 7/16 Thanks MB!

Re: bitter angry wife nmwb77 #2851979 04/27/15 01:48 PM
Joined: Jun 2011 Posts: 11,650 UK I indiegirl Member
indiegirl Member I Joined: Jun 2011 Posts: 11,650 UK	Originally Posted by nmwb77 I told my wife that eventually everyone would know that our relationship ended because of her affair. She said she didn't care what other people thought, because she's going to live her own life from now on. Yup - seen that one too. The 'I obviously don't care so you should feel hopeless and give up' gambit. Every word out of a wayward's mouth is geared towards protecting the affair addiction. What would you do if you were not afraid? "Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.

Re: bitter angry wife indiegirl #2851996 04/27/15 02:40 PM
Joined: Apr 2015 Posts: 435 T typicalman OP Member
OP typicalman Member T Joined: Apr 2015 Posts: 435	Our neighbors invited me over to their house tonight to talk. These particular folks will be hard for my wife to ignore because we have a really special connection to them (I won't explain here). What should I ask them to say or do? I'm starting to create a strong line up of folks that can influence my wife.

Re: bitter angry wife typicalman #2852001 04/27/15 03:46 PM
Joined: Jan 2013 Posts: 67 W WalkTheWalk Member
WalkTheWalk Member W Joined: Jan 2013 Posts: 67	Originally Posted by typicalman Our neighbors invited me over to their house tonight to talk. These particular folks will be hard for my wife to ignore because we have a really special connection to them (I won't explain here). What should I ask them to say or do? I'm starting to create a strong line up of folks that can influence my wife. TM, first CONGRATULATIONS on pulling the trigger. As far as what you say to anyone about this, is that you love your wife, you want to rebuild your marriage and protect your marriage and family from all harmful influences, you would appreciate their help your endeavor.

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