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This step has already been prosponed to long.
All the advice has stated to do is asap and make sure you secure your finances.
How far along are you in securing the finances as advised?
BW 36(Me)
WS 38
Married: 2000
DD1November 22 2008 - DD2 October 2014
PA Duration September 08 - November 08
Second discovery- 6 online affairs 4 sexual one emotional. October 2014.kids: DS 17, DS 14, DS 12, DS 10 . Baby after divorce DS 18months
Divorced
Was misled into thinking we were in recovery for 6 years.
If you were shocked reading any of this, that this is the consequence of not following MB to the LETTER.
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Probably just to add more people to contacting him I think. Isn't it true that the more that contact, the better? Dr H says "tell everyone" - but you need to concentrate on people they care about. Ensuring they have no support system.
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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I've already started the exposure with my family, and will move on from there.
I have a lawyer appt at 9:30 am tomorrow. I will wait with the finances thing until I speak to her.
M: 47 H: 52
H asked for divorce: 3/31/15
H Moved out: 4/7/15
H Took divorce off the table: 4/17/15
I filed for divorce: 5/18/15
I entered Plan B: 5/21/15
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It's 5:00 pm here, do you think it would be better to send out tomorrow a.m.? What if people read this now, and then forget about it overnight, and not bother to contact? No one is going to forget an exposure bomb overnight. What are you going to do about securing your finances? You have avoided answering that. BSs are advised to withdraw funds and put it in a solely owned bank account.
BW - me
exWH - serial cheater
2 awesome kids
Divorced 12/2011
Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.
We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
--------Eleanor Roosevelt
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Be ready to hear threats of a lawsuit. Yes, Be ready for this. A few of us have gotten threatening letters from tort attorneys, etc. Just ignore it. The best advice is to expose, preferably all at once, so nothing can be construed as "harassment" (harassment has to be sustained over a period of time, so if you can do it all at once, its not harassment) and tell the truth. The truth is always an absolute defense to libel, slander, etc.
Me: 38, have been divorced for 4 years
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black_raven, I am not avoiding it, I just feel better about it waiting till 9:30 am tomorrow to speak with my lawyer.
M: 47 H: 52
H asked for divorce: 3/31/15
H Moved out: 4/7/15
H Took divorce off the table: 4/17/15
I filed for divorce: 5/18/15
I entered Plan B: 5/21/15
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Secure your finances ASAP. Take your half now.also, gather as many records as you can. They can disappear.
And yes, earlier when I said they may try to bully you, I meant H and OW.
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Now is the perfect time to expose because people are off work and can call now.
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black_raven, I am not avoiding it, I just feel better about it waiting till 9:30 am tomorrow to speak with my lawyer. Fair enough, Ginger. I just don't want to see you get cut off should your WH do that...and it does happen especially when there is a nutjob OW in his ear. You may want to take a joint check book with you tomorrow or a joint credit card in the event you decide to retain counsel and pay a retainer.
BW - me
exWH - serial cheater
2 awesome kids
Divorced 12/2011
Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.
We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
--------Eleanor Roosevelt
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Do I send the picture of the two of them with the OW's letter to her friends and family. Yes, it was on her FB page, but some may not have seen it. yes!!! Send any evidence you have.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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His kids too? They are married.
M: 47 H: 52
H asked for divorce: 3/31/15
H Moved out: 4/7/15
H Took divorce off the table: 4/17/15
I filed for divorce: 5/18/15
I entered Plan B: 5/21/15
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black_raven, I am not avoiding it, I just feel better about it waiting till 9:30 am tomorrow to speak with my lawyer. Then you should give up becuase the lawyer will tell you "oh no, do not expose!!" A lawyers goal is to faciliate an "amicable," easy divorce, not to save a marriage. If you want to take marriage advice from a lawyer, you are done. The advice we are giving you is for people who want to save their marriages. It is from a clinical psychologist who specializes in saving marriages.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Yes! Tell the kids.
Last edited by apples123; 05/14/15 05:57 PM.
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Good luck with your exposing Ginger! When I read your first post and how long you have been catering to your husband's abusive affair, I did not think you had the cahuna's to do a good exposure and Plan B, but I am happy to be proven wrong 
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Melody, I'm already exposing.........I'm only waiting to discuss the finances with the lawyer.
M: 47 H: 52
H asked for divorce: 3/31/15
H Moved out: 4/7/15
H Took divorce off the table: 4/17/15
I filed for divorce: 5/18/15
I entered Plan B: 5/21/15
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LOL! Thank you unwritten!
M: 47 H: 52
H asked for divorce: 3/31/15
H Moved out: 4/7/15
H Took divorce off the table: 4/17/15
I filed for divorce: 5/18/15
I entered Plan B: 5/21/15
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His kids too? They are married. There is no reason to discuss exposure if you are going to take advice about exposure from a lawyer. The lawyer will tell you not to expose. Discussion over!
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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black_raven, I am not avoiding it, I just feel better about it waiting till 9:30 am tomorrow to speak with my lawyer. Then you should give up becuase the lawyer will tell you "oh no, do not expose!!" A lawyers goal is to faciliate an "amicable," easy divorce, not to save a marriage. If you want to take marriage advice from a lawyer, you are done. The advice we are giving you is for people who want to save their marriages. It is from a clinical psychologist who specializes in saving marriages. She's seeing the lawyer about securing finances. Ginger just move it. As long as you don't spend it without legal advice you're fine to safeguard it.
Last edited by indiegirl; 05/14/15 06:00 PM.
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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Joined: Jun 2011
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His kids too? They are married. Perfect!
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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Melody, I'm already exposing.........I'm only waiting to discuss the finances with the lawyer. whew!! I thought you were waiting to talk to a lawyer to expose and my heart dropped!!! CArry on, Madam!  And be sure and get to the OW's parents and family members!
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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