Wow, you get nothing of a business YOU SHARE? Whateverz.

You need to stop answering his calls Ginger. We all warned you this would come in short order. You need to stop answering his calls until the dust settles. There is nothing productive that can come out of his calls right now.

I agree, but I still say, what if he shuts off the electric, and my phone? He said he's turning off the internet too.

Oh, and he's bringing her here tomorrow with him. He said when I move out, he's moving in here with her.

Ginger,

I wrote this to you 5 hours ago.


Now do you see precisely how predictable his reaction would be if you hit the right targets?

You did the right thing AND you threw their fantasy into a whirlwind of embarrassment.

He will deny that, but why else would he be so outraged.

If he threatens you, CALL THE POLICE!!!

As a matter of fact, Call The 911 Dispatcher NOW and tell them he has threatened to throw you out of your joint owned marital property, just so YOU have the 1st report filed and it is documented in their logs.

Keep a voice activated recorder on you during ALL conversations with him for NOW and in the near future. The most intense hostility will die down typically in 2-3 days, but can rear it's head momentarily again and often.

Or, download an App right onto your cell phone.

The App that I downloaded for free is called; "Smart Recorder"

.

The person you are currently dealing with IS NOT the husband that you thought you knew so well.

If telling the truth and asking for help actually causes him to file for divorce, then in reality it's best to be rid of the repeat cheating person he has proven to be. BUT..... It's Way Too Soon to jump to ANY conclusions.

LTL

If he turns them off......you call the electric and phone company and get them turned on.
You don't move out.
You do not answer calls from him while he is raging and having a big tantrum cause Ginger is not under his control anymore.

He said he's outraged because of what I did to her. He said I was mean and vindictive and hurtful to her. He doesn't care what I do to him.

You have acted bravely.

Continue that.

Be Stronger.

Don't let ANY MORE calls disturb you tonight.

Turn off your phone.

But, be proud and say it loud to yourself.

Call the utility company's tonight and state it is an emergency that your husband is threatening you with turning off all the utilities, including the internet provider and request they do not do so without your personal approval to put the accounts in your name solely.

It is illegal if a landlord turned off utilities on a deadbeat tenant and EVERY Judge WILL frown on that action by him and be supportive on your behalf.

When you contact the bank tomorrow, the moment they open, take out AT LEAST 50% if not all of the funds.

Have your husbands 50% put into a legal Attorneys Trust Account when you meet the attorney at 9:30 am.

This is NOT taking his funds away. It is safeguarding them from the tramp who wants to pretend to fill your shoes.

The Attorneys Trust Fund will make you look like you are protecting, not only yourself, but him also, from that heathen.

LTL

Read and absorb what I have written to you in the previous 2 posts.

Now, IGNORE his childish outbursts!!!

Did you call 911 to see if they can prevent the escalation of him threatening to evict YOU from your own marital home?

Get a report made now. Beat him to the punch. It will help you immensely down the road.

Do YOU feel your letters were mean and vindictive?

I sure hope not. They were sincere and truthfull and asking for support.

Boo-Hoo..... His tramp just had someone interrupt her fantasy gravy train.

Do you have any authority over your joint business restaurant employees?

Ask your attorney about what your best options are to get her fired for having an affair with the co-owners husband.

AND REMEMBER..... The Attorney Works For YOU!!!

LTL

He is going to spin this story far and wide to everyone. Just like he did when he first left. He will lie about everything to make me look bad.

Oh, and the smart recorder isn't working. I tried it on a phone call with my sister. It records me, but not her voice.

As advised get on top of jointly owned finances and assets. Move 50% out of joint accounts and seek legal representation ASAP. Even a legal separation is effectively a divorce of joint assets and while I doubt he files (he isn't prepared or else he wouldn't be trying to intimidate you like this) it will give you peace of mind and a PLAN.

He cannot move you out or OW in without your consent. He is simply trying to bully you into giving up.

You can buy a voice activated recorder from Walmart or Radioshack and you NEED this in case he comes home tomorrow and gets unruly. They are only about $50. If he threatens you or forcefully removes you from the home a recording of the event is enough to give you legal options for getting back into the home and getting HIM removed from the home. So buy a VAR, test it so you know how it works, and wear it when/if he comes by.

No matter what happens he's not going to kick you out and leave you penniless. That's not how marital property works, he's just trying to bully you.

As advised get a free call recorder for you smartphone from the app store ASAP. This serves the same purpose as the VAR.

As advised, if he turns things off, call and get them turned back on in your name with your half of the finances. Then let him try and turn that off and see what kind of luck he has.

Like many waywards, he is in lala land and thinks he can just pretend your marriage never happened and take anything he wants. He is in for a rude awakening.

LearnedTooLate........I have read it, but my head is just in a whirlwind right now. I'm trying hard. His calls have deeply effected me, and I know I shouldn't let them.

He said she deactivated her Facebook acct. He said he's so angry because her mom is dying, and it was her only means of communicating with people. So part of me does feel bad about that.

Is making a police report, and taking funds from the bank going to guarantee divorce?

Ginger, calm down.

He can not turn off utilities immediately. Utility companies require an appt to schedule a final meter reading. Anything that gets turned off at some point can be easily turned back on. It is not anything to get freaked out about.

If he brings OW to your house, call the police to report a domestic dispute. If he shows up on his own and starts acting crazy or you want him out, call the police to report a domestic dispute. Since he moved out they will likely tell him to just go away (they most definitely should tell her to go away so he would go with her). Police do not want anyone acting crazy so they should ask him to leave to cool off. Do not leave your house.

Do you have family or close friends that can come over tomorrow? I would postpone the attorney appt and get the locks changed and the money moved first thing tomorrow.

He says he's filing for separation but not divorce? Well that says something right there!!! Most WSs are all freak out and huff and puff after exposure. Even if he files, it doesn't mean anything. If he goes to an attorney, I have never heard of one dropping everything to file on the spot and you would still have to be served. Stay calm and stop letting him get to you. This is the TYPICAL scare tactic of a WS.

Huh? You said her mother was dead.

And....an OW always IS an 'innocent, dear girl" who the WH must defend.

If her mom is dying, what he heck is she doing getting involved with a married man which would bring her mom grief at such a horrific time?

That OW's inability to communicate with people about her Mom is not your concern. She can do it the pre-facebook way if need be. She could call someone who could spread the word about her mom for her.

The only thing that could guarantee divorce would be if you filed for divorce. That is the only possible choice in this situation that could guarantee divorce. Otherwise there is no guarantee of any sort.

I've been through having to separate finances and take these types of drastic actions, and it was tough because it feels like a big push away from your spouse. Maybe that's how you feel also.

But you need to keep in mind that your husband is not thinking the way you are. His big push away was a long time ago, when he decided to start a relationship with OW. He effectively clocked out way back then.

So you need to think about this differently. The actions we are recommending are just like the exposure...they will put up barriers and obstacles to his ability to continue the affair.

Trust me...THAT is the dominant thing on his mind right now. He is much, much more concerned about figuring out how to take the spotlight off of his shameful relationship with OW than he is about anything else.

That's why he wants you out of the house, is telling lies to try and discredit the exposure, etc. It's mere damage control, trying to create a distraction from the real story.

What we're talking about will make that very difficult for him and may actually discourage him from seriously considering divorce once he realizes what it will actually cost him.

And more importantly, it will protect you.

That's what I was told, by him, and another person.

I don't want to miss commenting to anyone in particular, so I will just say, "Thank you, everybody here totally ROCKS!!!"

Oh, and this was a good one too.....

"You have always wanted me to lose the business! I'm going to lose it on purpose, just to prove it to you!" LOL!! Even I think that one is PRICELESS!!!

Please don't feel bad about this, because the idea that you are somehow responsible for any of that statement is absurd.

Her very own behavior is the only reason she would have to be ashamed. She's the one acting like a tramp, not you. If an athlete fails a steroids test, is it his fault or the fault of the man who gave him the test? Same exact kinda deal.

Deactivating her Facebook and then whining about it being the only means of contact is about as sensible as throwing your cell phone out your car window and then complaining about it being the only phone you have.

Not to mention that I doubt his statement is true. Just think about it....if your MOTHER was DYING, would you not have a PHONE NUMBER, ADDRESS and EMAIL ADDRESS for her? Would you really relegate your own dying mother to a "Facebook only" relationship?

Either OW is a sociopath or (more likely) your H is full of ****.

OW's mother is dead, dying, stuffed in a closet, and was maybe born a man...who knows and who cares.

You will hear all sorts of spin and stupidity from WH and OW as they try to do damage control. Since they were flaunting their affair at work and are living together, what exactly is the problem?

Try to get some rest, Ginger.