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And secondly, it just shows where his loyalty now lies. He should be at the restaurant, it's Friday night........one of our main money making nights for the Fish Fry. Instead, he's here, harassing me with his whore.
M: 47 H: 52
H asked for divorce: 3/31/15
H Moved out: 4/7/15
H Took divorce off the table: 4/17/15
I filed for divorce: 5/18/15
I entered Plan B: 5/21/15
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Thank you, Melody, you always calm me down. I just don't want to be tossed aside like a piece of useless dirty old carpet. That's what it feels like he's doing, [b]and this is definitely pushing him closer to her[/b]. The reason you are here is because he was already "pushed closer to her." HE lives with her!!! The good thing is, he's really showing her his anger right now. This is true. I still can't believe he brought her here! His obvious goal was to hurt me. I would do 2 things now: write him a Plan B letter and shut the door. Find an intermediary and go into a DARK separation. Without you in the picture, they will only have each other to get angry at. Are you familiar with Plan B? Have you read the Plan B thread? Have you read Surviving an Affair? Secondly, I would file a restraining order against the OW and never ever let her set foot on your property. You should also reach out to her mother and expose the affair to her. IF there are any remaining exposures, get them done today!
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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And secondly, it just shows where his loyalty now lies. He should be at the restaurant, it's Friday night........one of our main money making nights for the Fish Fry. Instead, he's here, harassing me with his whore. You really ruined the fantasy!! 
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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The mother is on her death bed as I now understand. I was told she was passed, but not yet I guess.
There are no other exposures that I will be sending. I don't think anyone from mine or his family contacted him, other than my sister. How can this work if that is the case?
I am familiar with Plan B, but will reread the thread again.
I haven't had a chance to read the book yet.
I will take care of the restraining order on Monday.
M: 47 H: 52
H asked for divorce: 3/31/15
H Moved out: 4/7/15
H Took divorce off the table: 4/17/15
I filed for divorce: 5/18/15
I entered Plan B: 5/21/15
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And secondly, it just shows where his loyalty now lies. He should be at the restaurant, it's Friday night........one of our main money making nights for the Fish Fry. Instead, he's here, harassing me with his whore. You really ruined the fantasy!! I never thought of that. Maybe that is the case, he's avoiding it now. Whoops! Sassy me!  He's lost quite a bit of weight too.........I guess stress will do that to you!
Last edited by Ginger872; 05/15/15 07:22 PM.
M: 47 H: 52
H asked for divorce: 3/31/15
H Moved out: 4/7/15
H Took divorce off the table: 4/17/15
I filed for divorce: 5/18/15
I entered Plan B: 5/21/15
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The mother is on her death bed as I now understand. I was told she was passed, but not yet I guess. I would find her and give her a call. She might be able to have a great influence on her daughter. What about her other family members? There are no other exposures that I will be sending. I don't think anyone from mine or his family contacted him, other than my sister. How can this work if that is the case? Is there anyone left in his family or close friends? I am familiar with Plan B, but will reread the thread again.
I haven't had a chance to read the book yet. I would read through the thread and start working on your Plan B letter. Who could you use as an intermediary? It needs to be someone who would agree to act as a neutral spam filter and only pass on PERTINENT information about finances. [versus the threats and hateful messages he will send] I will take care of the restraining order on Monday. Perfect! And also inquire about what "fine" you could receive for telling the truth in America? The last I checked we all have a constitutionally protected right to FREE SPEECH in America. If the Constitution has given way to a facist police state, it would be nice to know this!
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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The most basic component of freedom of expression is the right of freedom of speech. The right to freedom of speech allows individuals to express themselves without interference or constraint by the government. The Supreme Court requires the government to provide substantial justification for the interference with the right of free speech where it attempts to regulate the content of the speech. A less stringent test is applied for content-neutral legislation. The Supreme Court has also recognized that the government may prohibit some speech that may cause a breach of the peace or cause violence. For more on unprotected and less protected categories of speech see advocacy of illegal action, fighting words, commercial speech and obscenity. The right to free speech includes other mediums of expression that communicate a message. The level of protection speech receives also depends on the forum in which it takes place. Did the police officer have a Supreme Court judgment denying you of your free speech rights?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I'm not comfortable calling the mother, being that elderly and ill is a very personal thing for the family, and I feel it would make me a very bad person. I wouldn't want that if it were my mother.
No, there are no others to send to for him, and I was wrong, his kids did call him, but I'm sure he spun the story around in his favor.
He told the officer that I threatened to take my own life last night too, and that's why he was banging on the door as he was, because I didn't answer. See...............spin the story in his favor.
M: 47 H: 52
H asked for divorce: 3/31/15
H Moved out: 4/7/15
H Took divorce off the table: 4/17/15
I filed for divorce: 5/18/15
I entered Plan B: 5/21/15
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He told the police about the emails that were sent out last night, and they said if it continues, I will be fined.
I honestly believe this is a hopeless case now. You cannot be "fined" for telling the truth in America. There is no such charge, so don't worry. And I want to assure you that this was hopeless yesterday. By exposing you gained a small glimmer of hope. But it is still a long shot. Nothing will happen to you. I actually had the OW hire an attorney and threaten me with a LAWSUIT. But nothing ever happened. Why? because it isn't illegal or libelous to tell the truth. She was furious over internet exposure. However, those posts of her remain up on the internet and will remain up until she figures out a way to take them down (if she can).
Me: 38, have been divorced for 4 years
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I'm not comfortable calling the mother, being that elderly and ill is a very personal thing for the family, and I feel it would make me a very bad person. I wouldn't want that if it were my mother. First off, you have no idea what her condition is. Elderly, ill parents are not crippled, useless human beings. She could be a great help. A bad person is a women who sleeps with married men and helps break up marriages, not a woman who tells the truth about an adulterous affair. I would be horrified if my son was committing adultery and you dismissed me as if I had no human value as you are doing this woman. You have no earthly idea if she is elderly or ill. That is most likely a lie told by liars. Not that elderly people are less human than others. And of course you are not "comfortable" telling anyone. We are not trying to make you feel "comfortable" but to encourage you to do the right thing. We know it is not comfortable! He told the officer that I threatened to take my own life last night too, and that's why he was banging on the door as he was, because I didn't answer. See...............spin the story in his favor. This is why it is so important for you to tell the truth.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Ginger, you can't pass up KEY, critical exposures because of lies told to you by lying liars. Don't let self serving liars be the source of information you use to determine your exposure list. That is crazy!
Nor can you pass up critical exposures because you are not "comfortable." I have NEVER known a single person in 14 years that was "comfortable" exposing an affair. It is very uncomfortable!!
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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You need to file for separation or divorce. If you don't WH will keep acting like this...showing up to your house with his whore and taking stuff. I also doubt you have any basis for a restraining order against POSOW w/o filing. Your WH "invited" her along to his house....there is not law broken here. You have zero protection w/o filing and a standing order.
BW - me
exWH - serial cheater
2 awesome kids
Divorced 12/2011
Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.
We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
--------Eleanor Roosevelt
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I am going to speak with the lawyer again more in detail about legal separation. The bank account is down even further this evening after more checks came in, so he is hurting for money. If maybe he'd spend more time there working, instead of whoring around, the business might be doing better. I'm convinced there is some truth to what he said to me last night. He is going to lose it just to prove to me that I never wanted him to have it. I mean seriously, get your head on straight!
He demanded I hand over the restaurants business Facebook page, he said he needs to start posting on there. First of all........LMFAO........that is funny! I built that page with personal stories about him and I, my personal photography, and other stories. He will never be able to do what I did with that page.........with her in the picture. He will likely have her doing it, and integrating her into more of my roles, and again I say..........LMFAO! But this tells me the restaurant is hurting for business, and what is going on with him IS effecting the restaurant too. It's a small town, and rumors fly quickly.
I can't just hand over the business page, it's attached to my personal page. He said then make me admin on it, but it's still attached to my personal page. The only way to do it is to start a new page, and me post on the original to go like the new page.
Last edited by Ginger872; 05/15/15 09:06 PM.
M: 47 H: 52
H asked for divorce: 3/31/15
H Moved out: 4/7/15
H Took divorce off the table: 4/17/15
I filed for divorce: 5/18/15
I entered Plan B: 5/21/15
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Below is what I believe will be the result of what just happened. I know that because he is royally PO'ed right now, any letter I send him, he is going to crumple up, and file in file #1. He said to me last night, "I knew you hadn't changed! Same old W."
Can someone enlighten me a little more?
"Unless plan A leaves the wayward s spouse with the impression that returning home is an attractive choice, separation can become permanent. So before implementing plan B, you want to be sure that the last thing your spouse remembers about you is the care and thoughtfulness you offered in plan A. That way, the separation can help create, "absence makes the heart grow fonder."
M: 47 H: 52
H asked for divorce: 3/31/15
H Moved out: 4/7/15
H Took divorce off the table: 4/17/15
I filed for divorce: 5/18/15
I entered Plan B: 5/21/15
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"Unless plan A leaves the wayward s spouse with the impression that returning home is an attractive choice, separation can become permanent. So before implementing plan B, you want to be sure that the last thing your spouse remembers about you is the care and thoughtfulness you offered in plan A. That way, the separation can help create, "absence makes the heart grow fonder." Yes, this is true. Before you go into Plan B, you should avoid all love busters and tell him that if he ends his affair you would be willing to create a great marriage with him. You ARE avoiding love busters, right?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Below is what I believe will be the result of what just happened. I know that because he is royally PO'ed right now, any letter I send him, he is going to crumple up, and file in file #1. He said to me last night, "I knew you hadn't changed! Same old W." You have no idea what he will do with your plan B letter. You must send it so he knows that you are offering him a path back *IF* he meets certain conditions. AS the affair crumbles, he will remember the things in your letter.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I have been completely positive, kind, and treated him with dignity this whole time. The letter seemed to spark something positive, and he has called me now twice, not to speak about anything to do with the relationship, but only about our lawn mowers. The first call he answered a couple questions I had about something to do with the mower, then asked if he could come pick up the 2nd one we have, that I'm not using. The second call was to let me know he is having someone come pick mine up to have it repaired, and returned. But he was kind, and positive. I did not answer that last call or text though, I was busy. I still haven't returned the message. This sounds to me like you did a pretty good plan A! He will remember that when you go into Plan B.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I'm doing my best, but quite honestly, he is extremely extremely angry because of what happened yesterday, and he won't listen to me. Add to it what happened today, and I don't believe his anger will go away. He is a very angry man right now.
M: 47 H: 52
H asked for divorce: 3/31/15
H Moved out: 4/7/15
H Took divorce off the table: 4/17/15
I filed for divorce: 5/18/15
I entered Plan B: 5/21/15
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I'm doing my best, but quite honestly, he is extremely extremely angry because of what happened yesterday, and he won't listen to me. Add to it what happened today, and I don't believe his anger will go away. He is a very angry man right now. Yes, he is angry because you interfered with his affair and ruined his fantasy. That is great!! And just think, when you go into Plan B, the only target of his anger will be the OW with you out of the picture. As long as you are hanging around, he can blame you for his troubles instead of looking at himself.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I'm doing my best, but quite honestly, he is extremely extremely angry because of what happened yesterday, and he won't listen to me. I have witnessed HUNDREDS of exposures over the years. HUNDREDS. I have only seen *ONE* that did not make the WS angry. It was because he absolutely didn't give one CRAP. Every WS is angry about exposure. The more angry, the harder the blow you inflicted!
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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