Be brave and be sure that given the circumstances, you are implementing the right choice.

Though you don't want the divorce, being business partners is the greatest threat to your future right now and taking steps to end your responsibility with that issue is utmost at this juncture.

If the divorce completes, know that you expected more from him than anyone else due to your care and concern and respect as his wife. You have been his biggest fan and will not participate in enabling his downward spiral.

Thank you reading! I do understand what you are saying.

I'm glad I moved my mail too, I never realized this before, but the house they are staying at is right across from the PO!

That's Great that the temporary hearing is scheduled so soon.

Get the financial concerns tied up.

Be prepared for him to either get aggressive to break you down, or manipularive in false pleadings of remorse.

Record EVERYTHING!!!

Document, Document, Document.

LTL

Thank you LTL!

Hey, did you ever find any information that could help me with the garage repair? You said you possibly could help with a public claim rep, or something?

He hasn't gotten back to me with anyone he knows local to your area yet.

Look up Public Adjusters and see if you get good vibes.

They usually charge about 10% of the claim they procure for you.

I'll remind him though.

LTL

I am having a really hard time. I'm trying to Plan B, but every time I turn around, there's something new that he is trying to do to get even with me it seems. Today I am getting messages from several people that he has the POSOW on his Facebook now, flaunting the affair in front of family, and his kids. He's NEVER on Facebook, hasn't been for 2 years, so he must have given her the password.

Thank goodness I had unfriended him, and blocked him earlier this week, or she'd have access to my page too if she logged in as him.

This is all about the money, and the fact that he is losing the business, or that I hired an attorney. Probably his way of telling me he is with her, and he's not interested in coming back because of my Plan B letters to them.

I just don't understand how he continues to do things, knowing it will get back to me, and hurt me.......knowing that I told him in that letter just how painful this has been for me. This man that I have loved for 17 years, and am now forced to deal with all this BS! I am feeling like I am literally living to protect myself against the hurt he is inflicting on me.

I've told everyone that I can, not to even tell me about anything that shows up there. I want nothing to do with him at this point.

I know none of his family will put up with that either, they all know what's going on because of the exposure letters. He obviously has no shame, or respect for his family.....let alone his kids.

Has anyone put any pressure on him to end his affair?

Also, how did you find out what she was doing through Facebook? You need to close every avenue that gives you information about him. Will you do that? The darker the Plan B the more healing you will endure.

Cyber hugs to you Ginger. I hope that you will keep talking to us. I know that it's the holiday weekend, but people care and will still make time to respond.

Yes, you are literally living to protect yourself at this moment in time. Like brainhurts pointed out, YOU have to seal all of the cracks so that any info about your H cannot get in. Your H is an alien right now, a selfish and addicted one at that.

DON'T look at his Facebook.

Can you ask your Mom to put all of his photos carefully in a box and put them away for a while?

What else do you need to seal up so that you won't see nor hear any info about him?

Ginger, you've put up a fight that is inspiring to all of us. NOW it is time to rest in Plan B. And take care of Ginger. What can you do today to feel special?

I cannot thank this group enough.......and yes, I will keep posting, I come here because I feel supported, and loved.

My family and friends will learn, I'm sure they understand what I'm going through, and will know now for next time not to tell me about it.

I'm going to start preparing myself to move out of this home after the court hearing on June 1st. I need to be closer to my family for support. I am four hours away from everyone, surrounded by all our memories, and only 20 minutes from him and his whore. I have no support system here.

Once I get the house damage paperwork from him, I can have the garage repaired, and get the home ready to sell. I have potential buyers waiting to view the home, they bought 15 acres next to us, and are really interested in buying.

I need to get away from here.

Everyone I talked to about exposing said they would call, I don't know if they followed through or not. I know his kids called him for sure, and my sister. But he probably told his kids I was the one in the wrong, and that I was the reason he left.

I did give the investigator the details for finding her mother too, and am still waiting to hear back. Is it to late to deal with that now that I'm in plan b, if he finds info for me?

I would still expose to her mother if you get the information. This is a very important exposure target.

I found that even caring people don't get how raw things are for us at this time (and I didn't have to Plan B, so I'm sure that it's more-so for you). A couple of my exposure targets have been victims of A's themselves, and so they got it, but still I had to set my boundaries continuously.

My goodness, I just had to remind my aged father LAST WEEK to please never speak a certain name in our home again. I told him over and over back then what "her" name was...and yet he keeps speaking it. OUCH! <---and he looks at me each time like he is a pouting school boy and I've caught him in the cookie jar

That is the coolest thing about MB...no matter what happens with our own situation, MB makes US a better person. And speaking for myself here, I think that it would be incredibly boring to EVER stop growing and changing for the better in this life.

Thank you BrainHurts and BlindSighted.

I tend to be more softhearted, and emotional too, so what I've done has taken a HUGE amount of pushing myself to do it to begin with, so after pushing myself so hard, I expected not to have to deal with this much emotion after going into Plan B. I guess I wasn't really prepared. On top of that, I'm getting emails from restaurant related things still, because my email was the contact for most things. I had hoped I wouldn't have to change my email, but I guess I'm going to have to just do it, along with my phone number. It SUCKS that I have to change so much of my life because of what he chose to do. It's just not fair!

It isn't fair but it is the way it goes.
BTW, your Plan B didn't make WH angry and lashing out. It is a love letter. It will be in the back of his mind for the rest of his life (whatever happens).
Exposure and filing divorce are not for the faint hearted but you did both and have shown your self worth and honesty and that you are someone special.

Thank you reading! I just wish he would realize that. Guaranteed she could never handle what I've done, with as much dignity as I've tried to approach this with. I am proud of myself.

I warned you earlier today that he would try to break through the boundaries you had in place. Maybe get off of FB completely, at least for the time being.

Also, you do not need him for the garage repair paperwork. Contact your insurance company and tell them that you want the entire claims report e-mailed directly to you and if their imposed deadline is soon approaching, demand an extension to get the repair work scheduled and completed.

LTL

If you are both on the house insurance policy you might want to ask the insurance company to pay the contractor directly. You do not want a joint reimbursement cheque from the insurance company. He will stiff you if you have already paid the contractor.

You have nothing to lose and have a far tighter plan than they do.

Divorce stuff, even small things, will hurt though, sorry.




Yuk.






Let him hang himself with lies. It's obvious when you have both versions which is true.

Thank you living_well, and LTL. I have a list of calls to make on Mon.......insurance company, phone company, and cell phone.

I also need to speak with the insurance company about the fact that he is letting the whore drive his truck, and find out what can be done about that, or how I can protect myself from anything that could happen if she causes an accident.......since she is an alcoholic, and I have seen her at the bar with that vehicle.