It would need to be a notarized sworn affidavit with specific language stating that, "If I Were Called To Testify, I Swear To The Following Statements".

Look up "Sworn Affidavids" and ask your attorney.

Get them, then she can submit them so they are part of the court file and recorded, but do it while emotions are fresh and the memory does not fade to being ambiguous.

LTL

I spoke with my attorney, and she said they would not be useful in court. The actual person would need to be in court to answer questions.

I'm feeling very unsupported by my attorney. H came in there today, both barrels blazing, and pretty much dictated what was going to happen, and what he could do. My attorney initially told me she was going to go for $500 per week for bills, and maintenance. H said no, he's been giving me $250 per week (he pays the mortgage), and that's what he could do. My attorney barely fought, and got me $300 a week. I'll deal with it. I don't need much to live on, as long as I can pay the bills.

But he gets to keep the business, a business we bought together, that he wouldn't have had if I said no, and is going to force me to sell the home, after my attorney told me I couldn't be forced to sell. There's another hearing about it July 9th. So I'm going to be forced to move.

Along with that, he will get half the home and equity if im forced to sell, but because the business has been run down so bad by him and his whore I'll never get anything out of it, it will never be worth anything, but I will be responsible for half of the debt that has been created. There was mention about a certified letter from the IRS about a $15,000 owed on a taxes error that the accountant did.

On top of that, when he was here to pick up his clothes, before he was served, he took the boat. I was told by my attorney that I could get rid of marital property that I didn't want him to have access to, as long as it was before the papers were filed, which I did. I'm now being told I have to bring back what I moved, he demanded he get two of the items, and I have to follow through with that.

Now, I don't know much about the process, but I'm left feeling like I'm not being supported, and after a 14 year marriage, I am going to get screwed by H and that whore! He will get to live his happy little life with his drunk whore, with his good job that he got only after we met........other wise he'd still be living in his dad's trailer court with his junky trailer, junky car, and crappy job! I helped him get his credit back, pay off his debt, and used money from my dead grandmother to buy our first home.....which in turn made it possible to buy our current home!

Basically what I feel is happening is because he said I didn't work the restaurant, which I did, and I didn't have an outside job, that he has more entitlement than I do. Along with him blaming me for the business failing, I feel like I basically took it in the a*s today.

I don't know, maybe I'm just being bitter, and angry now. A lot of money that I'm going to get from the house is going to go to the restaurant debt......I'm going to walk away with nothing.

Ginger, if he gets the restaurant, why wouldn't he get the DEBT attached to it? Are you certain about that? That seems to me like it would it great deal for you if he gets the restaurant along with the debt. Surely there is no equity from that business since it seems to have been driven into the ground.

Sorry to hear your attorney did not fight for you.

x 2

If this hearing was for temp orders there is nothing saying he gets to keep the restaurant and you get half the debt. It may be that the temp order allows him to continue running the business. You may have to eat some of the debt but you should also be entitled to half the assets or anything of value. Are you certain that is what was said by your attorney or is this just WH's wish list because that doesn't make sense.

All BSs take a financial hit and lose something, Ginger. That is just the way it is. However, you can re-build. You should do some basic calculations/spreadsheets of how much your assets and debts are. Depending on the numbers, some times it is not worth fighting over if attorney fees will just eat it up on top of the headache. If your attorney is already showing signs of being a wimp you may want to interview another attorney or have a strong heart to heart with her about what you expect going forward.

If your lawyer said that to you then I strongly suggest you seek new counsel. She is a total idiot if she told you that. A judge can order the sale of anything. Given that you don't have young children in the home as a consideration, a forced home sale is very likely unless you could buy your WH out for his share...which I would not advise as a good solution/settlement either.

I have sent a very detailed letter with my questions and concerns to my lawyer, and let her know I wasn't comfortable she was fighting for me. I let her know I want details about the process, time line, and what to expect. Nothing was discussed about the business, other than H would run it like normal, and I was still a 100% owner. The house sale was discussed. I let her know I had questions about forcing him to sell, or buy me out of my share, and that I needed details. I will report with her response.

I'm exhausted, overwhelmed, and feeling defeated.

I wanted to say too.....H made quite a big deal today about not being allowed to have contact with me. Several comments were about that very thing.

A grown man making a big "waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa" sound for not being able to rub his affair in his wife's face.

The love triangle falls apart when you are not the hypotenuse. Now he has to look at his drunk mistress and actually face that he gave up you for THAT.

Thank you PigletWiglet. I hope you are right. I wish he would just leave her already. He said he's not living with her, but that he's living at the restaurant. Yesterday I met him in town on my way in, he was coming from the restaurant, and turned, headed toward her home. He's such a liar. It's all for show I'm sure.

My attorney said I won't be able to have a room mate, unless they are willing to pay half of all the house costs, including the mortgage. So, since that is not likely to happen, I'm going to have to continue living alone.

Another thing, if I'm going to have to move out of this house, and sell, I want to move closer to my family so I have a support system available to me. They are 4 hours away from me. I just got a job here that I don't start till June 22nd. I won't be allowed to quit that job until I have another in the area I want to move to according to my attorney. That means many trips to that area to interview or whatever it will take to get a job. It's all so screwed up, and chaotic.

I just feel like because of everything he chose to do, all his mistakes, I am the one having to pay the price, and deal with all the pain.

Why can't you quit your job and move? It's not illegal to move or be unemployed. I understand you want to occupy your house, but what kind of nonsense is your attorney telling you about your job? You don't have to take that job. You could move if you didn't care about occupying the house. You don't have to be employed or live in a particular place to get divorced. The only issue is that if you are moving to a different county than the one you filed in, then you have to travel back to the county you filed in for court.

I "think" it may have been more a suggestion than anything from her.

I think you need to seek a second legal opinion.

Ginger,

I think your attorney may just be trying to help you make decisions.
Are you calm and collected and limiting your questions to legal matters when you talk to her? Or are you asking her for life advice?

Seeing more lawyers may just cost money.
Lawyers will give all types of advice about anything if asked. It just lets the [censored] run.

Ginger you are worrying about too many things at once and I get the feeling you are overwhelmed and not really understanding what the laws are in your state and perhaps misunderstanding what your lawyer is telling you.

No one can make you take/keep a job. I advise you to start the new job as planned and wait to see what happens with the house, garage repair, etc. Were you awarded exclusive use of the house with the limitation that WH can come onto the property to repair the garage? Just because he can come do the repairs doesn't mean he is allowed free reign and can come in the house. Look at what the order says.

Is WH supposed to keep paying the mortgage in addition to giving you the $300/week?

Yes, she is, and yes, when I speak with her I am calm, and have my questions written down. I do not ask her for life advice, I leave those questions for here. My issue is that I don't understand a lot of what is going on as we move forward, and I am in a very emotional state, this is a very difficult process/time in my life.

I am very overwhelmed. And in spite of being in plan b, I'm still feeling very emotional and unsupported. I dearly miss my husband. For the last 17 years of my life, he's been there for every big event in my life, and now he's the one causing the most painful big event of my life.

I did get a very detailed email from my lawyer this morning, and she explained everything. I believe part of the problem is she is a very busy lawyer, and she hasn't always explained all the details so I am able to see and understand what is going on. I get bits and pieces of some of those details, and I'm not able to read between the lines.

Yes, he's paying the mortgage, monthly bills, and some maintenance. She explained exactly what he is paying, and said I actually made out very well. I'm fine with that.

It's called flooding and is totally normal. I used to teach adult literacy both to profoundly illiterate Americans and to immigrants from West Africa that had never attended school. The difference between the two groups was massive, the US group was so emotional about their lack of literacy that they sometimes failed to read three letter words whereas the West Africans were completely relaxed even though some of them spoke almost no English. No prizes for guessing which group made more progress.

Don't be so hard on yourself.

Yes, I did get exclusive use of the home, and he has to have permission to be here. If the garage repair takes longer than two days, he will need to get my permission.

I want to add, I'm the type of person who needs to find at least one small positive in every situation to help me hang on, and move forward. I'm not feeling positive this last 3 or 4 days, and that is adding to my overwhelmed feeling, if that makes sense.

I always love, and look forward to hearing from Melody, and you indiegirl, you always give me that point of view that just works for me. You both always have that ounce of positive built in to your responses that I crave right now.

I am so grateful for everyone here, and your unbelievable kindness. I don't know that I could ever express that enough so you all understand.

Thank you!