Whatever you do, don't give into the temptation to gloss over your answers to the questions because that will make it much worse. You won't be sparing his feelings, you will be raising his SUSPICIONS when things don't make sense. And you will pay dearly because he will just keep asking and asking when things don't add up.

Will he agree to one session of questions and answers? Because recovery of your marriage is contingent upon a) answering all of his questions fully and truthfully and b) never bringing it up again. If it is brought up again and again, it will destroy your marriage and make you BOTH miserable.

If he is willing to do a question and answer session, you could always consider involving a Marriage Builder Coach in the process or before the process.

Have you written a NC Letter to OM and have your BH send it yet?

BH left me today w/out explanation the only reason perhaps are the pics of women almost half his age on the computer. To answer your question yes he did send it to om of course he knew there was no need to. Two things that I am sure of BH will buy himself a younger woman griping to her about me and she'll listen to him.

Unfortunately that is the rubbish kind of intimate conversation affairs are based on. Funny how people think looks and money are the drivers when really its all about talking. He doesn't get to subject you to a revenge affair nor does he get to punish you like this.

Even if he leaves he is still married until a divorce is finalized. You don't have to forgive any affairs just because youve had one and are within your rights to divorce for adultery or to keep him out of the family home if he embarks on adultery.

What are these pictures and are they recent? He won't do himself any favours by becoming wayward himself - as you know it's a miserable existence.

However i think it's just a low point on the roller coaster we all went through first few days. Unfortunately he's reacted poorly and lashed out by leaving these pictures - it's to worry you just like the description of cheating on his thread was to worry you. This is pretty abusive towards you and not acceptable.

If he is going to start punishing you it probably is better to have him out of the house. I would not start recovery with him until he commits to a plan where he is not going to punish you.

Hopeless, perhaps you could tell us whether anything on that checklist got done? Exposure is the most important thing because usually it provides the betrayed spouse with comfort and support. It also prevents any need to punish the wayward spouse because it is so embarrassing for them and such a task to regain their reputation - however people just want assurances, not to punish.

If the two of you had some eyes on your recovery it would also prevent him doing something dumb. I can't see that five minutes with a bimbo would be worth the immediate loss of his reputation straight afterwards, since you yourself would need to expose him were he to have an affair.

When you expose your affair you dont have to reveal your daughter's parentage (which you don't know anyway) you would just tell close friends and family you had an affair with om, ended it, confessed but your BH needs help and support. I don't suggest you do this without him, but it is a key part of recovery the two of you will need to do. OM certainly needs to be exposed to his folks and friends since he likely makes a habit of this with married women.

If your husband's mood on the roller coaster changes again and wants to come home, I would get cracking on exposure straight away. You can't solve this without a village and without public accountability he feels very unsafe and is too tempted to be your sole consequence - he is too tempted to punish you.

Patience and humour sweetie. There is a plan.

11:30 am lawyer calls me to say that he is a divorce lawyer representing H who is filing for divorce and is seeking for a quick resolution. Entered a pic of the main girl on his computer and did an image and found her, she was born in 96 thick long hair down to her waiste she looks tall too. Found her on Instagram with a pic of both of them in casino in Las Vegas, yeah makes sense since last month he flew to Vegas for a seminar. If I'm a 10 than she's an 11.

Question?

Do you still want to attempt to save your marriage?

If so, then gathering evidence and doing an exposure of his seeming affair would probably be the next step.

Now, for information purposes.....

How do you trace and identify a person from an image or photo?

LTL

https://www.tineye.com Of course I want us to stay together but the lawyer requested that I don't contact any of his friends, family or work. Pretty sure the new one is keeping him all occupied and thinking of her. looks like a she could be a body double for Leelee Sobieski IMHO. Any advice.

Great tip on tineye, very cool idea.

His lawyer is not your friend, or a friend of your marriage. The lawyer's job is to get the divorce with as little damage as possible and the fact that he's steering you away from contacting your H's social circle is very suspicious.

It's not illegal or wrong to talk to any of those people if your husband is actively cheating, and the lawyer certainly doesn't want adultery to complicate his client's case against you.

Something here doesn't add up. I agree with LTL's advice above.

You don't need to contact work unless it's a workplace affair.

There is no law against telling the truth and seeking the support of family and friends no matter what a lawyer requests.

There's no way to get someone back from the addiction and shame of adultery without exposure. You know yourself it was only the threat of exposure from OM gave you your wake up call.

If you want him back, or even want him to just be a decent dad I would expose and hope he has what it takes to respond to people's concerns. He's not going to make her any kind of role model for her future husband catting around with skanks. Some of the things he has said on here about buying women from poor countries are deeply disturbing.

I would snoop in whatever way you can for evidence of an affair so as to expose.

If you still have the home computer he used, I would seek having someone do a forensic analysis of it and retrieve any information they suggest could be discovered that is hiding in the limbo trash, but not erased files on the hard drive.

LTL

He'd have to change jobs since it seems to be the fad swapping wives for teenie boppers. H boss left the wife for a woman from a poor country 23 younger there have been a few others at his work that have done the same. Suggestibility is a problem for H. Can't think of a reason he should stay in a corrupting environment where women are valued for their age. You are who your friends are, sincerely I love him and am repented for what I did. But how do I get him to contact me/MB?

Exposure!!!

LTL

Hmmm H doesn't have any friends and his mother would only rejoice, doesn't go to church. The only place is his job... Can I expose him to his place of work?

She's a drunk!

Yahoo, have you been dating someone else?

LTL

Plus, please use your own topic thread to make responses on.

LTL

Well I don't have friends like that better to be around positive influences.

So, Yahoo, you have been having an affair.