omg shes going to filled a harassment report on me now ....what have i done

she told me this is really brutal of me to do now i have brutally abuse her now

WHAT DID I DO

HELP

Calm down. Telling the truth to her work and your family is nor harassment. She may think she has a case but she doesn't.

I recommend you get all financial documents and proof of her affair in to a safe place. AND SEE AN ATTORNEY TODAY.

Also, was her Computer bought with joint funds? If so, secure it too.

She is planning to move the OM into your home. She was planning to blame the breakdown of the marriage on you and she is mad because everyone now knows the truth.

CALM DOWN.

Why on earth not?

This doesn't make any sense, flames.

If you're not going to calm down and follow the plan that works, just go ahead and file for divorce and never see or talk to her again.

But either way, tell your daughter, because she deserves to know.

@ markos
.i'm doing that today just need to Figure out how i'm going to tell her or approach the matter i'm sorry i'm being a drama queen but what she told hurt so much

My wife did the same thing. She called the police but they did not do anything. It depends on your state though... some states will give her a restraining order for nothing but my state would not do it for her. Perhaps you could just talk to the police... I did, and they told me I was fine. When my wife drove to another state and filed a restraining order there, that was a whole different problem.

Also, like you, my wife said that she never wanted to reconcile with me. She pawned her wedding ring. She shut off her phone and got a new phone and blocked my calls. Once reality set in for her as to what divorce looked like, she moved back home. She still hates my guys and I'm having all kinds of problems with her, but the advice I will give you is to IGNORE THE FOG BABBLE.. .DO NOT TAKE IT PERSONALLY... JUST FORGET EVERYTHING SHE SAYS WHILE HAVING AN AFFAIR.. .would you really take to hart something that a drug addict or drunk says to you? let her sober up first before you start listening to her.

@typicalman

her mom now wants to get involve ..she text me right now saying
WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOUR DOING!!!!!!
YOU REALLY F**K UP NOW

her mom lives with us

All I can say is that the same thing happened to me.. .my wife's mom put her head in the sand and did not help. Firstly, I would say.. don't panic, stay calm, and stay consistent with your message...you love your wife, you want her to end the affair and commit to a plan to rebuild your marriage.. blah blah blah..pass the turkey.. broken record. Does your wife's mom really support the affair or is she in denial?

I had my mom call my wife's mom.. .it didn't go so well. My step mom called her as well and they had a much more cordial conversation... I don't know if this was a good idea or not, but my wife's mom refused to talk to me.

Is she saying anything else?... you may want to just get a coffee with her, listen to her vent.. then turn on your broken record. It's hard to believe that she support s the affair. It's more likely, she supports her daughter but is just being stupid. Also, you have a complication.. her daughter is also her employer.. so her mom is in a tight spot.

your very right on that and thank you for the support @typicalman that help a lot ,and no her mom didn't text me anymore when i get home and face the consecuenses i'll just tell her to step back and let my wife and me talk and hopefully we can come to a agreement because by sending that letter to her family and work place i embarrassed her so i will hear it and let her vent on me because i know she has more to tell me

Be careful.. I would not tell her to step back nor anything disrespectful. She is your mother in law.. so anythign you say now will come back to bite you in the future. Stick to your script and your message in the exposure letter. There is nothing to argue about. You love your wife, you would like her support in encouraging her daughter to end her affair and you are willing to put in place a plan to restore her marriage. You are very sorry that she and her daughter feel embarrassment over her daughters affair. It's the affair itself that causes the embarrassment and the pain.. not the exposure of it.

I would also say that whatever the marital problems were, that is not a subject for argument. You are willing to work on these things with your wife, but she must end this harmful affair.

Well everyone after all I done so far exposure at work and family lead me to loose my family all her family hates me now they don't want to see me anymore they call me a [censored] a dush!! And I'm not welcome at their houses , because I could have gone another route instead of doing that and at my wife's soon to be ex wife also her job said that I was a pshyco and that she needs to stay away from me that she doesn't feel safe because of what I did but I'm glad my wife didn't loose her job and even tho I pull this stunt she will still let me see the kids in a regular bases , so let's see I lost my wife for good and I lost her family for ever all I have now is my girls , it back fired on me big time I'm so stupid , oh and I'm not welcome for thanksgiving or Christmas or any other family events they might have so I'm alone alone alone , and she wants me out the house by Sunday . What did I learn today ?? Exposure to work and family doesn't always work

So now is just me and the girls

Do not leave your house! If she can't be around you then she needs to leave, not you.
How can telling the truth be wrong? You absolutely did the right thing. Of course the in-laws are raging at you, they don't want the dirty, stinky finger of adultery pointed at their daughter.

So if you didn't expose, the same thing would have happened just slower (death by a thousand cuts).

Yet another person who makes the strange mistake of thinking "my wife's mad so it's over."

@Marcos
It's over man but I'm glad I have my girls, that's all I need , the wife she can go ahead and learn from her mistakes that she will make she said she can do it on her own so be it the only help she asked me is to help with my girls expenses that's all she want and to love them , so I will do that and focus on my self to be better for my girls she found someone else , I'm happy for her , not really but oh well ,, her choice , I want o at thank you everyone for all your advices I'll check in next month need to start packing and they also moving out too and I'm glad I'll be 3 miles away from my kids and 1 mile away from their future school and that makes me HAPPY =)

Please read. Men, Don't Leave your Home

You will still have your girls and that is great. You have learned a valuable lesson about your wife's family and what kind of people they are. "your wife has found someone else"... don't bet on it!!! Listen to Dr Harley's show and the statistics about affairs... how long they last and the success rate if they turn into marriages. The chance of this relationship working out for her is almost nil. It's time for you focus on being the best father you can be.

Don't say it's over.... it's your choice if you would ever want to take your cheating wife back, but it is way too soon to say "it's over". You are still the father of those girls and that will bond you to her forever.

The anger and outrage of my wife and her family (her mom and sister acted more crazy than she even did) was more extreme than anything I could ever imagine after exposure. The anger over this does fade away over time, but the affair doesn't look more logical over time.

If your wife leaves, it's time for plan B. The fantasy of this affair will become reality. This guy would inherit a live in mother in law, two girls, and a "crazy :)" x husband... really? how long do you really give this??? Dr. Harley says that almost all affairs are done within 2 years. You may be looking at 6 months.. who knows. Exposure will have speed the process along.

Also, you have a "cheating wife".. you need to do some soul searching to decide if you would ever want her back. With children, it's a tough decision... but give yourself some time to figure it out and don't jump into anything.

Most importantly... STOP LISTENING TO YOUR WW! while this affair is still so new for her, she is in the FOG. Nothing she says or does is going to be rational and you CANNOT take her seriously. Just completely ignor her! If you want to win her back.. plan A; if she says that it's over, just pretend she never said it. Tell her you are there for her. If she wants to talk, you are there to listen. Ask to meet her for coffee once a week etc... just listen to her but do not react to her meaningless affair babble. Talk about the girls or something else. No disrespectful judgements and no anger.

thank you for that t great advice @ typicalman
unfortunately we all moving out at the end of the month we rent a town home so she's getting her own place and her mom will be leaving with her because she has no where to go and my kids ,i'm getting my own apartment,and no worries i wont jump in to anything,and her family what a shame ,all i know if i would had cheated on her she would had tell everyone too right! and all her family would had come down on me like a avalanche ,but right now all her family thinks shes the victim here. which unfortunately is really sad the way they think

She is moving out... so what? all cheaters want to move out. It gives them the freedom to have their affair. My wife up and left after I exposed her affair... it sounds to me like she is "on script" for every other affair I have read about on this forum.

How is she going to do financially? supporting herself and her Mom on one income?

Do you really have to give her any money at this point? You may have some legal problems... but I would say, you support the girls when they are with you, and I support them when they are with me. Maybe, if there is day care involved, you just split the bill. If she wants to support her Mom, that is on her. In my view... her mom is supporting her affair why should you give anything that will go to her??? what do the other posters think of this???

Your wife's mom is obviously alone... is she a widow or divorced? Have they had affairs? It doesn't seem like they support marriage very much.