also... If I were in your shoes (and I am) why would you let your WW take custody of the girls? I would tell her that YOU will keep custody... SHE can pay you child support (or perhaps 1/2 of child care expenses) and SHE can see the girls every other weekend? That's just what I would do. I have taken alot of flack for letting my WW move back in... but I told her, the kids stay here in their home. I stay here in the home. If you want to see the kids, you come visit them here at the home. The end result of that is that she moved back in... I have a host of different problems now; but the one thing I did not do was allow the kids to move out anywhere!!

@typicalman

yeah my wife told me she doesn't need my help supporting her and i told her okay but i would like to help with ,car insurance and maintenance,phone bill and child support,and she said NO all i need from you is to help me only with the girls needs that's all, i make good money so i said okay as you wish ,so will split in half anything that has to do with the girls only nothing more and once again are you sure i asked, she said YES!! and her mom is separated her husband never gave her a divorce they been separated for about 4 years already he cheated on her many times and he also has a history of abusive husband type 4 i called it that because he did everything to her that has to do with being abuser ,all her family have had something happen to them ,whats going on right now with me and the wife will be there topic for at least 6 months because they love it. is like soap opera for them and it will bring them together as a family and that [is a FACT ] i seen it before and it will be seen again next week when they seat down for thanksgiving dinner which i'm not invited to attend because shes the victim and not both of us just her and that's how her family is, so i guess cheating on me is okay for her to do but me exposing is really bad and is really unsafe for her to be around me i was called a psycho by them ? pretty nice of them ...OH!!!! and another thing the wife told me she didn't want to tell me about her cheating on me because she was afraid i would hurt her and i asked her really you though that ?? yes and i said to her ,did i got mad at you when i approached you the first time i found out you were having a affair ? she said NO well there you go ,so she said well i was afraid because of your behavior your pretending nothing is bothering you ,well wife i said that's why i'm going to classes to better my self and this is how it looks sorry if you never seen this side of me but that's what anger managements does for you.. and the funny thing is when we went back home she went in to her mothers room to talk and i over heard my wife say ...i asked them that i was afraid of the way hes acting all nice and calm and the rapidly follows with yeah mija me too i'm afraid of him she follow her tread right away and i know why ,because she needs her she needs a roof over her head

my wife did the same thing. SHE had the affair, but she said that I was CRAZY and was going to kill her so SHE was the victim. It's like the same script they are following.

Think about it... if you rob a store and get caught.. then you are afraid of the store owner and now you are scared. Then you make a the store owner into the bad guy and you need protection.

It's crazy, it's wrong, but all this is all primitive human nature especially for people with low intellect. The best thing you can do is to not act like the crazy man that your wife and her family want you to. That will make it harder for them in the long run. If you act like the bad guy, you just continue to make life easy for them to side with your wife. If you act like the saint perhaps, eventually her drama will become old news and she will start losing her support.

when it came to the girls custody we said half/half if i want to have them every weekend i can and also during the week to help with home work and i agree to that and i think is better then nothing, and also i would wish to have them everyday but i wouldn't be able i would have to hire a sitter ,my work schedule would not allowed me ,and yes @ typicalman my girls make me a better man when i'm around them plus i know wife will ask my oldest how i'm acting around them get the 411 , but my behavior is changing little by little and is going to get better and better and is going to be a huge slap on her face when she sees that i can change.too bad by the time it happens i will be divorce because she doesn't believe in me and is ok it runs in her family not being supportive,only when is in there best interest just like her mom will support anything she says to her best interest

and also i think she filled for divorce yesterday because she was late to our meeting like 20 min and the court house is not far away from our home ,she did mention when i told her we still married and she said NOT FOR LONG!!!!

FOG babble... don't listen to it. She is mad about the exposure. Divorce takes a long time... don't let it phase you. I know it is hurtful. She wants to hurt you any way she can for exposing her affair. I've been there. You need to take the bullets out of her gun by not letting it affect you.

She is 100% on as script.

http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2315999

i just found out the guy shes having her affair with ,went back to work today WTH!!
I REALLY THINK THIS BACKFIRED ON ME,and what if she really did get the papers to filled for divorce yesterday at this moment if she did ,i think this is a lost cause and i'm wasting to much energy on her , i love her but it takes two people to make it work and i'm tired i even lost 20 lbs since it happen.

Do you have a question about Marriage Builders for the forum? If not, we are going to lock this thread since you are not following the advice.

@ denali
i am following the advice i just feel surprise the other man whom my wife is been having a affair went back to work today, has this ever happen to anyone who did the exposure at work and family members ?
what step should i take now ?

I see that many posters have given you advice that is not being heeded. Are you reading their posts and taking the advice?