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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,440 Likes: 4
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,440 Likes: 4 |
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Joined: Dec 2015
Posts: 428
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Joined: Dec 2015
Posts: 428 |
Thanks, I will post on homewrecker. The cheaterville site seems to be all about bullies and sex criminals?
Me-BH, 47
Spouse-WW, 47
Married for 18 years
DS, 11
D-Day #1 - November 1998 (7 months after wedding)
False Recovery, 16 years
D-Day #2 - November 2015
WW filed for D - February 2016
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Joined: Oct 2015
Posts: 339
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I posted the OM in my situation on http://cheaterreport.com/
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Joined: Dec 2015
Posts: 428
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Joined: Dec 2015
Posts: 428 |
Good suggestions, thanks.
Any legal repercussions to posting on these sites? Obviously I will only post the facts, so no slander or libel cases.
I know they might be able to get you for DMCA copyright infringement (selfies). What about harassment claims?
Me-BH, 47
Spouse-WW, 47
Married for 18 years
DS, 11
D-Day #1 - November 1998 (7 months after wedding)
False Recovery, 16 years
D-Day #2 - November 2015
WW filed for D - February 2016
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Joined: Dec 2015
Posts: 428
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Joined: Dec 2015
Posts: 428 |
You guys were right! I did a detailed search of our house and found a $6,000 retainer agreement for a divorce lawyer. I talked to WW and found that my MIL gave her the money for it! Also, the one friend she was talking to was an enabler! She got her a secret cell phone. I have been gaslighted this whole time, thinking I'm making LB deposits. Instead she was plotting all along!
I'm so depressed... What do I do?
Me-BH, 47
Spouse-WW, 47
Married for 18 years
DS, 11
D-Day #1 - November 1998 (7 months after wedding)
False Recovery, 16 years
D-Day #2 - November 2015
WW filed for D - February 2016
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,440 Likes: 4
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,440 Likes: 4 |
So can you confirm contact with OM with the secret phone?
I'm so sorry we were right. We've seen it too, too many times.
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
You guys were right! I did a detailed search of our house and found a $6,000 retainer agreement for a divorce lawyer. I talked to WW and found that my MIL gave her the money for it! Also, the one friend she was talking to was an enabler! She got her a secret cell phone. I have been gaslighted this whole time, thinking I'm making LB deposits. Instead she was plotting all along!
I'm so depressed... What do I do? What is her plan, Lost? Have you spoken to her mother?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Joined: Dec 2015
Posts: 428
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Joined: Dec 2015
Posts: 428 |
So can you confirm contact with OM with the secret phone?
I'm so sorry we were right. We've seen it too, too many times. No, I cannot find where she is keeping the secret phone... :-( I have searched far and wide. I've looked and she has gotten better at hiding things, after I confronted her about the attorney. She said she has not filed and she is trying to decide what to do. I found her notes from her meeting with the attorney, talking about 50/50 on property, state requirements on child support, etc. I found out that MIL has been helping her look for apartments around the area and may have given her money for deposit. I called MIL this morning and asked her what happened to helping us reconcile. She said WW is still her daughter and she is an adult. The only thing she could do is support her. She was very unhappy about the Exposure and said that is why she ended up supporting my wife. She did say however that there is no way WW is contacting OM, that is impossible. WW also claimed no contact with OM. All of our funds are in joint accounts as our state is a community property state. She opened up a new checking account. I'm not sure why, probably to keep track of her own spending? Her paychecks are minimal and cannot even cover the rent. We have plenty of cash in there. What should I do now?!?
Me-BH, 47
Spouse-WW, 47
Married for 18 years
DS, 11
D-Day #1 - November 1998 (7 months after wedding)
False Recovery, 16 years
D-Day #2 - November 2015
WW filed for D - February 2016
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Joined: Dec 2015
Posts: 428
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Joined: Dec 2015
Posts: 428 |
My MIL did say she confiscated WW's passport in case she wanted to go visit OM, so she said she is sure there is no contact between OM and her. She said all the other things are my fault because I did the Exposure of the affair! She said the problems now are between me and WW and OM is out of the picture!
Me-BH, 47
Spouse-WW, 47
Married for 18 years
DS, 11
D-Day #1 - November 1998 (7 months after wedding)
False Recovery, 16 years
D-Day #2 - November 2015
WW filed for D - February 2016
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
Ok, she is very probably still in touch with the OM, so I would keep looking for contact. That would explain her lingering "fog" and anger about exposure. Since she has threatened divorce, I would move your money to a safe place so she doesn't wipe you out. Other than that, you just need to sit back and bide your time. It is very common for a wayward to threaten divorce when you interfere with the affair. They typically don't follow through. All of our funds are in joint accounts as our state is a community property state. She opened up a new checking account. I'm not sure why, probably to keep track of her own spending? Or to wipe you out with a big money transfer.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
My MIL did say she confiscated WW's passport in case she wanted to go visit OM, so she said she is sure there is no contact between OM and her. She said all the other things are my fault because I did the Exposure of the affair! She said the problems now are between me and WW and OM is out of the picture! She has no earthly idea what your wife is doing, though. I would stay polite to her but otherwise, ignore her comments. She is not a friend to your marriage right now.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Joined: Dec 2015
Posts: 428
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Joined: Dec 2015
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That $6,000 retainer seems very serious to me. I guess I have to get an attorney now... I hate having to do this...
Me-BH, 47
Spouse-WW, 47
Married for 18 years
DS, 11
D-Day #1 - November 1998 (7 months after wedding)
False Recovery, 16 years
D-Day #2 - November 2015
WW filed for D - February 2016
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
Wait, did she hire the attorney? Has she filed?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Joined: Dec 2015
Posts: 428
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Joined: Dec 2015
Posts: 428 |
Yes, she must have. They wouldn't give free advice, would they? She said she was only looking at her options but it sure doesn't look good if she's apartment hunting!
Me-BH, 47
Spouse-WW, 47
Married for 18 years
DS, 11
D-Day #1 - November 1998 (7 months after wedding)
False Recovery, 16 years
D-Day #2 - November 2015
WW filed for D - February 2016
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
Yes, she must have. They wouldn't give free advice, would they? She said she was only looking at her options but it sure doesn't look good if she's apartment hunting! They typically DO give a free consultation. A retainer is not paid unless they hire them, which means filing for divorce. She wouldn't pay the retainer unless she had decided to file for divorce. One doesn't have to pay a retainer to just get a consultation and consider options.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Joined: Dec 2015
Posts: 428
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Joined: Dec 2015
Posts: 428 |
She said she hasn't filed yet but is considering
Me-BH, 47
Spouse-WW, 47
Married for 18 years
DS, 11
D-Day #1 - November 1998 (7 months after wedding)
False Recovery, 16 years
D-Day #2 - November 2015
WW filed for D - February 2016
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
She said she hasn't filed yet but is considering Then she very likely has not hired an attorney.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Posts: 1,842
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Posts: 1,842 |
The retainer agreement and $6,000 means she has hired an attorney.
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Joined: Aug 2014
Posts: 1,842
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Have you pulled a credit report on her recently?
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Joined: Dec 2015
Posts: 428
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Joined: Dec 2015
Posts: 428 |
Yes, nothing of note on the credit report, I just ran a couple weeks ago because she got a fraudulent account opened.
Me-BH, 47
Spouse-WW, 47
Married for 18 years
DS, 11
D-Day #1 - November 1998 (7 months after wedding)
False Recovery, 16 years
D-Day #2 - November 2015
WW filed for D - February 2016
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