Are you not requesting shared custody?

Its a tough call, in your case. You are pretty much in a no-win situation.

You should do nothing to help her move in my opinion.
Should you be present?, if you have concerns she will take things/trash things then i would be there and bite your tongue.

Change the locks and garage code as soon as she leaves, most all waywards think they can come and go as they please to the marital home even when they move out.(mine did)

Don't help her move. Help with the computer if she asks. Plan to do something out of the house on moving day.

Yes, we agreed on 50/50 shared custody. It will be difficult to execute completely well because of DS's extensive after school and sports schedule, but that's our primary agreement.

There is usually not child support if custody is 50-50. Is something special about your situation?

My sister actually volunteered to help move her out using her SUV. I told her to stop it, it's counterproductive. Sister just wants to see me divorce her and end it all... She's sick of her lies. But she's not the one that's in the marriage...

I do plan to change the locks, but I thought about DS after school He will need to have a way to get into the house if I have to work a little late sometimes... Also, some posters suggested using laundry time and other times when she comes back to work Plan A. I don't think WW is the type that will wreck my house or sabotage things, but you never know. She's already betrayed me twice.

Because I make about 20X her income. Even at 50/50 I have to pay child support. It sucks to live in a Liberal state.

Thanks, I think that is what I will do. Our house is full of our happy pictures, every time I see one it's a trigger of sadness for me. I need to be strong and resilient for DS.

Once she moves out, how should I handle our relationship? Should I try to contact her? There will be constant contact due to 50/50 shared custody on DS. But should I talk to her about other things? I don't want to seem like I'm pursuing her or being needy, I want to be strong. What is the "right" level of contact? I want to give her the "space" so she can rationally think about what is happening. I think right now so much of her issues are caught up in anger, embarrassment over Exposure, and fighting for cash and things from me.

Telling her what she "should" do is a lovebuster. You can decline to do something you're not enthusiastic about without telling her what she should do.

As long as you are in Plan A, you SHOULD be pursuing her. Women aren't attracted to men who show disinterest.

I can't for the life of me see how this could have been love bank deposit.

Saying 'no" to a job you do not want to do is quite within your rights, but it is not a love bank deposit. Telling your wife that she should do the job herself is a lecture, and thus a love buster.

This seems like quite the opposite of a deposit to me.

What level of pursuit should I be doing? Calling her daily to see how she's doing? Trying to set up dates for us? She's already rejected these overtures during our in-home separation. Once she's out, it'll be that much harder to do.

I'm confused...

WW did enjoy the sporting event that I got for DS this past weekend. However, I can feel she's thinking "I'm just doing this for DS to be happy." She continues to eat out with us. Not sure if this will continue when she moves out. She really stopped cooking for the past couple years, despite working only 15 hours a week, she would say she's tired or "there's nothing to eat at home" and frequently I'd buy food and bring home for dinner. Or she would just warm up frozen entrees for us to eat.

I think we are splicing hairs on semantics here. I didn't actually say, "You should do it." I just said I'm not doing it and walked away. Either way, the end result is the same, because there is only one other person who can do it when I don't do it.

What are you confused about?

Why will it be harder to ask her out on dates once you are separated? What makes it harder to ask? And does the fact that she's rejected your overtures so far mean that you should stop asking?

Nobody is splitting hairs. We are just responding to your account of what you said:

I think she was being sarcastic? I didn't think it was a LB deposit but I thought it was just so I don't stay a doormat as before and stood my ground. The intent was to make myself more attractive as a man in the long run.

I guess so. I could continue eating out with her as a family, especially after sporting events, etc. I think she likes that.

I would be extremely self controlling with your anger and be as pleasant as possible. Don't fight or discuss any cash or property. If she asks about it, just say you want to leave that up to the lawyers and don't want to get involved with all that mess.

Be strong and reach out to her when you can. Don't be needy, but be attractive and inviting. Ask her out for lunch occasionally and focus on being as attractive as possible.

One big mistake that MEN make in these situations is they try to be standoffish, thinking it is attractive. They think this is attractive because that can be attractive to MEN. It is not attractive to women. It comes across as giving her the cold shoulder, which only serves to validate her rationalization that you are mean and controlling. You need to be SMART and strategic and woo her just like you would any woman you are courting.

And I agree you should not help her move. BUT, it is in your best interest to help her set up computers, etc because it gives you good air time with her. But don't help her MOVE because that only looks like you WANT her to move. And you don't want to give that impression.

YEs, you should be there when she moves out to make sure she doesn't take any property. You MUST be as pleasant as possible, so suck it up.

1. Women hate doormats and 2. Conflict avoidance is dishonest.

However, I agree with Prisca, if this was presented as a demand, that wipes out the love bank deposit. I assumed that was presented by Lost as 'that request feels to me to be unreasonable' but on reflection it could have been presented as a demand.