The first thing you should do is call or visit her mother immediately and ask for her help. Ask her to use her influence to persuade her daughter to end her affair. You must also tell these people the NAME of the OM, his position and his marital status. And stop calling this an "EA," it is an AFFAIR. And yes, it is sexual.

Find the OM's wife and expose to her. Expose to his employer. Does he have a facebook page? Expose to your own mother, too. Wrap this up!

You also need to be more factual. Say:

My WW is having an affair with a married man named XXXXXXX. WW has admitted her affair with this man. I have every reason to believe she brought him into our home when I was home.

Is it ok to just phone her mother mother?
Actually she confessed PA. She says she told only to her sisters and best friend.

WW's lie all the time.

WW's lie about how they told about the affair. The reason they do that is to stop you from telling those she "claimed" to of exposed. WW's never out themselves.

Sorry I misses that you said "call or visit".
When I wrote this exposure message I didn't know about PA. Should I write an update message?

Yea, you can call her mother and call those sisters and her best friend. What are you doing to find the OMs wife?

From the VAR records I have learnt her name. I got two phone numbers for the same name/surname. I will call numbers and ask if their husbands name is xxxx and working at xxxx company. Since it is weekend now, she is most probably with her husband. Sould I call her immdietaly or wait for monday when OM is at work?

Call her now. Don't give him more time to spin the story.

WW said she will leave home for an indefinite time. She is looking for an apartment now. I did everything to convince her to stay except for arguing about separation. She looks very determined.

Did you get ahold of her mother? The OM's wife? Her sisters and her friend?

I talked with her on of sisters. the other one was supporting their affair. the sister talked begged me not to tell her mother.

I'll call OM's wife to day. We are at home with WW. I don't want her to attack me because of calling OM's wife. I'll call in a few hours when Igo to shopping.

Her mother was lenf cancer two years ago. She totaly recovered but I don't want to upset her.

ARe you kidding me? So you don't think the mother will be "upset" when you end up divorced [where you are headed now!] because you failed to ask her for help? Do you know we have had affairs KILLED by a WS's parents? You can't afford to skip any step and need her help.

EVERYONE SHOULD BE UPSET. Her daughter needs her help and so do you. You have no valid reason to not tell her. Do you want to save your marriage or not? Cherry picking exposure targets because you don't want people to be "upset" is a poor excuse to skip steps. EVERYONE SHOULD BE UPSET!!

That sister knows that the mother won't support the affair. They are enablers of your wife's affair.


good!! And call everyone else you have skipped on your list.

EXPOSURE:
I've talked with OM's HR department. They are interested and asked for evidence. I have sent whatsapp screenshots and said I will send any further evidence if they need.
I have sent a mail to OM's wife with some whatsapp screenshots and my number. It will arrive tomorrow. I got only OM's address and phone number.
I have talked with WW's sister again and she said they talked with WW and she's determined to divorce.

PLAN A:
I am trying to show my care and love for her. But she doesn't respond. She looks very depressed. She said she won't leave the house this week. I don't have a job at the moment and I think she is thinking about the financial problems if she moves to another aprtment.
What should I do?

She doesn't respond... how can I apply Plan A?

She doesn't ask for forgiveness. All I can say to her how much I love her, I still want a happy marriage with her and I will forgive her when I decide that affair is comletely over and she makes effort to repair our marriage.

Is there any hope?

Ok, I would drive to the OMs house and speak to the omw in person. You can't take the chance that she will get your mail. What about exposure to everyone else? Her parents, family, friends?

WHAT ABOUT HER MOTHER?

I'll call WW's mother in the morning (4am here). WW is 39 and I am 44. Exposure seems not to work since she wants independence and all of her friends and familiy respects and supports her decisions. They have no influence on her. I believe affair has ended and OM is not an issue anymore (at least for now)

We have talked after she came home from work. She wasn't depressed like yesterday. We sleep together and hug eachother and she let me kiss her from the cheek only. She says she loves me and she cares about me but not as a husband ... she loves me as a friend. She wants to be alone for a while. I said it sounds like she wants to be together with OM again. She said she has nothing to to with him anymore. She said she wasn't serious with him and she was thinking of a divorce for a while, exposure of the affair just helped her to decide determination to divorce. She doesn't expect me to forgive her. She just accepts that the thing she's done is not fair and she is sorry. I told her we are passing through bad days and we are both numbed and I asked her to give a chance and some time to our marriage. She says her mind is clear and she is determined.

I told her I understand that my neglecting her EN pushed her away and I am aware of that now, I used to be selfish and ignorant but now I am enlightened. She says it is too late. We make the same conversation many times everyday.

In these circumstances Plan A and exposure is not working. I'll go on with Plan A but I have no hope.

I had suggested going to a consultant together but she didn't wanted to. As a final resort perhaps I can try to convice her to go to a consultant. I have read about MB's warnings about bad consultants. Do you think the right consultant can help us? Can you suggest someone in Istanbul?

I am desperate. Please help.

You don't understand the benefits of exposure. Even though you have completely bungled it by trickling it out, you will still benefit from exposure by creating conflict in her affair. The REASON she wants "independence" is so she can be with her boyfriend. If the affair is exposed, he will be less likely to be hanging around to get sex from your wife.

You need to wake up and take this seriously. Get this affair exposed!


This is all a bunch of nonsense that is a distraction from solving your marital problems. Please stay focused. If you can't follow this program, then you are wasting our valuable time.

Can you follow a plan?

Posting again. Was this done? Have you met with the OMs wife? These are critical exposures that are not being taken seriously.