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Originally Posted by MelodyLane
What happened, April?


I called her husband yesterday, he confronted her last night and she confessed. This morning I emailed his grandma, texted his brother my sister in law and his dad (I won't speak to his father on the phone, he just cheated on my MIL and divorced her this past year), called my MIL, texted his friends, FB messaged her friends and his extended family. He is denying. He said I'm ruining this poor woman's life. He wants to talk to me. I told him to [censored] off.

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Her husband corroborated all my evidence. Their behavior and outings all match up.

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Originally Posted by AprilMay12
Her husband corroborated all my evidence. Their behavior and outings all match up.

Good job, April!!! i am so proud of you. What about the workplace? Have you exposed there too?


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Refresh my memory, they do work together, right?


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Originally Posted by MelodyLane
Originally Posted by AprilMay12
Her husband corroborated all my evidence. Their behavior and outings all match up.

Good job, April!!! i am so proud of you. What about the workplace? Have you exposed there too?


Yes, they work together. I believe I inadvertently did. Some of my husbands friend contacts work with him, and I believe one might be in a supervisory position. My husband texted me to say that some upper level management was coming down on her because of my messages. I was going to do the wait and get a new job thing, but I guess it's known there now.

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You need to send a letter to their supervisors, department head and the head of HR. You need to make sure they know this relationship has developed in the workplace so they can act appropriately.

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April, please go expose to the workplace NOW. You need to do this today before they pre-empt you. Do you have the contact information of their HR and some key leaders?


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Shouldn't I give him a warning about leaving his job and giving him time to find one before I do that? He actually has been talking about leaving his job since he got a supervisor he hates. I will do what you think is best.

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Originally Posted by AprilMay12
Shouldn't I give him a warning about leaving his job and giving him time to find one before I do that? He actually has been talking about leaving his job since he got a supervisor he hates. I will do what you think is best.


Like how Dr. Harvey says give them one month or whatever?

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Originally Posted by AprilMay12
Shouldn't I give him a warning about leaving his job and giving him time to find one before I do that? He actually has been talking about leaving his job since he got a supervisor he hates. I will do what you think is best.

I would expose it right now.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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That is only for a repentant wayward. Your husband is still denying the affair. Expose now before he has time to spin this.

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Originally Posted by AprilMay12
Originally Posted by AprilMay12
Shouldn't I give him a warning about leaving his job and giving him time to find one before I do that? He actually has been talking about leaving his job since he got a supervisor he hates. I will do what you think is best.


Like how Dr. Harvey says give them one month or whatever?

This is an act of good will for people who have committed to recovery and admitted the truth. He has not done that.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Originally Posted by AprilMay12
Originally Posted by AprilMay12
Shouldn't I give him a warning about leaving his job and giving him time to find one before I do that? He actually has been talking about leaving his job since he got a supervisor he hates. I will do what you think is best.


Like how Dr. Harvey says give them one month or whatever?

Exposure to the workplace is not intended to be blackmail to get an active wayward to end the affair.


Ddays 2007 and 2011
Plan B 6/21/11
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How to Plan B Correctly
Parallel Parenting in Plan B
SusieQ #2889689 11/09/16 02:16 PM
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Did you expose to your child?


Ddays 2007 and 2011
Plan B 6/21/11
Divorced July 2012
2 kids
How to Plan B Correctly
Parallel Parenting in Plan B
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Originally Posted by AprilMay12
Shouldn't I give him a warning about leaving his job and giving him time to find one before I do that? He actually has been talking about leaving his job since he got a supervisor he hates. I will do what you think is best.

Given that this is your WH's 2nd affair and that he was already talking about leaving you (meaning the affair was pretty far gone and entrenched), this is not the time to be cutting corners.

I would not leave any exposure stone unturned and I would NOT trickle this out, hoping to avoid some of the "harder" exposures by seeing if just a little bit will do the trick.


Ddays 2007 and 2011
Plan B 6/21/11
Divorced July 2012
2 kids
How to Plan B Correctly
Parallel Parenting in Plan B
SusieQ #2889707 11/09/16 05:36 PM
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I guess I wasn't aware that I should fully expose at work. I thought if his job was needed for our survival that I shouldn't threaten that immediately. In any case his supervisor knows and I believe hers does as well now. He came to talk to me and admitted the affair. He says he still wants to separate. He got a call for another job in our city (one hour from where he works now), and it looks like he will be changing jobs soon. He would not commit to stop seeing her. He said maybe after this "[censored] storm", but he couldn't bring himself to say he would no longer talk to her. What do I do now?

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i inadvertently texted his supervisor and fb messaged hers

Last edited by AprilMay12; 11/09/16 05:40 PM.
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Originally Posted by AprilMay12
He would not commit to stop seeing her. He said maybe after this "[censored] storm", but he couldn't bring himself to say he would no longer talk to her. What do I do now?

I would do exactly what Dr Harley recommends and tell him that if he puts in his notice today, you won't expose at the workplace. Otherwise you will formally expose to his workplace. That gives him 30 days to find another job.

You NEED him to leave that job in order for the affair to end. Do what you have to do to kill this affair. He can get another job, but you don't want to be fighting the OW for his income in the futre.

Most companies don't outright fire adulterers. They typically separate them.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Originally Posted by AprilMay12
i inadvertently texted his supervisor and fb messaged hers

In that case, I would draw up a letter TODAY and take it to his HR department, giving copies to the supervisors. Giving them this kind of heads up allows them to hide the affair. That is why you need to formally notify at least 3 ppl.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Originally Posted by MelodyLane
Originally Posted by AprilMay12
i inadvertently texted his supervisor and fb messaged hers

In that case, I would draw up a letter TODAY and take it to his HR department, giving copies to the supervisors. Giving them this kind of heads up allows them to hide the affair. That is why you need to formally notify at least 3 ppl.


Ok, but what do I do about him after that.

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