I did notify her family, but her parents are deceased. Her husband kicked her out. I can prob get the letter to him to give to her somehow. Where is the letter? I can't seem to find it.

"This letter should be delivered by your friends to the unfaithful spouse, and a copy sent to the lover with a note at the bottom saying:

I love ______ with all my heart and am willing to do whatever it takes to make her happy. I will wait for that chance."

Does she have a facebook page?

Yes she has fb

Did you already expose to her friends and family on facebook?

Also, what evidence did you get that prompted you to expose? You just mentioned you exposed but didnt clarify what you found.

Yes I exposed to most of the fb people. I got blocked from finishing but I did a lot of the list. I have been going through the rest this morning. I got corroboration from her husband. We compared dates and times. Then she confessed to him and I also got more details about where they went and what they were doing.

Gotcha! I forgot that you told me that. I would stay in touch with him in order to compare notes. Your husband knows you have told him, right?

Yes. In fact he texted me while I was talking to WS and I told him right then we we're keeping in contact. I also told him things she told him that I would have no way of knowing... (Like that she got a uti from having sex with him...ew)

ugh! Is your H still denying the affair?

No he admitted it. He is denying it started before he told me he wanted a divorce though.

That is really cute, but how is that relevant? Does he imagine it is ok to commit adultery just because he "wants a divorce?" That is some CRAZY fogged out, wayward thinking!

I know. He's trying real hard to keep as good of an image as possible in this [censored] up, disaster of a situation he has caused.

Just confirmed with her BS that they started taking walks/talking as early as August. That he expressed interest in her before that but she rebuffed him. That she didn't know he was married because he doesn't wear a ring (he lost in when we moved 1year ago). He's such a damn liar.

I think it is funny that he believes he is entitled to commit adultery with a married woman because he was "thinking of divorce!" That is hilarious! i would like to see him explain that warped thinking to a normal person!

I forgot to tell you something!! In your Plan B letter put this line:

I insist that you do not ever expose our son to your adultery partner, Joe Blow's wife. This would upset him terribly and he is already upset.

REfer to her as such and such's WIFE.

Does the other OWH want to call your husband, I wonder?

Well he said he told her to do whatever she wants in regards to WS. That they had sex in his house twice and that's too far and he's done. So I doubt he wants to talk to him.

You're doing so well April. Hang in there, and once you're in Plan B you will start to feel so much better.

Hugs to your little guy!!

And here you go How to Plan B Correctly

I concur, great job on the exposure April!

Every wayward is fuming mad during exposure. They all say they are DEFINITELY getting a divorce. There are happily married couples on this very board who once told their BS that. So take that proclamation with a grain of salt. More important is YOU at this point and your son and protecting the both of you.

Now that you have exposed, your WH is out on his own, the OW is out on her own, and although this may seem like it has pushed them together it has really made them face reality. They used to get to fill fun needs when it was convenient for them. Now they have to fill ALL needs for each other ALL the time. That is much more difficult and certainly not as much fun, especially with family and friends scrutinizing their relationship, and the total upheaval of everything they hold dear.

Just let that mess fall apart on its own, while you are in a dark Plan B.

Yes, actually the weird thing is he's not mad. He told me he understands why I did it. He keeps telling me he's so sorry and that he will apologize to me every day, that he doesn't want to hurt us anymore. He said he's not going to talk to her anymore (of course I don't believe him). He was over to get some things for his apartment, he signed a lease today. I told him i was having a hard time looking at him and he replied that he was having a hard time being around me because he just wanted to give me a "hug and say I'm sorry". He said he was a "broken man". He told me last night that we don't have to rush to file for divorce, that we can wait and figure things out as we go through with the separation.

So I know I should proceed as planned, right? Will going on in the letter about how I want our marriage to work be too much? He already knows that I've said I would let him go and give him a divorce, because he's been so insistent and I just didn't want to keep pushing him. I didn't talk to him about reconciling to anything, I didn't talk to him much at all which I think really bothered him.

He has to come back tomorrow to get more items, and then I should be able to go into plan B after that. I am going to work on the letter after my son is in bed, and then I will post it here.

Also, I've gotten some mean messages back from her friends on FB which is sort of sucky. Makes me sort of question doing the exposure, but I know it was the right thing.