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Is he demanding that money be spent a certain way ?- That's a selfish demand. Asking him not to spend money on certain things is not a selfish demand.
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A selfish demand is demanding your spouse do something they dont wish to do- likes spend money on certain activities or go place they don't like.
Which of the materials have you each read so far?
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A selfish demand is demanding your spouse do something they dont wish to do- likes spend money on certain activities or go place they don't like.
Which of the materials have you each read so far? We have read His Needs, Her Needs, some of Love Busters, quite a few articles on this website. He has listened to a few of the radio shows as have I.
Me 56
Husband 63
Married 37 years
7 children, 6 adults, last DS 17
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I learned a lot from the radio archives. I would search for a topic like "Selfish DemandS" then listen to several segments to discover how to apply to program properly. I highly recommend it.
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I learned a lot from the radio archives. I would search for a topic like "Selfish DemandS" then listen to several segments to discover how to apply to program properly. I highly recommend it. Thank you, we will talk about signing up.
Me 56
Husband 63
Married 37 years
7 children, 6 adults, last DS 17
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Is there current information about Marriage Builder weekends? Are there still being offered?
Me 56
Husband 63
Married 37 years
7 children, 6 adults, last DS 17
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Is there current information about Marriage Builder weekends? Are there still being offered? They changed the program somewhat so you don't have to fly in for the kickoff weekend. Instead you would do it online through a series of videos. The various courses are here. #3 is the equivalence of the weekend program.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Is there current information about Marriage Builder weekends? Are there still being offered? They changed the program somewhat so you don't have to fly in for the kickoff weekend. Instead you would do it online through a series of videos. The various courses are here. #3 is the equivalence of the weekend program. Thanks. It would be nice to do some face to face counseling.
Me 56
Husband 63
Married 37 years
7 children, 6 adults, last DS 17
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A selfish demand is demanding your spouse do something they dont wish to do- likes spend money on certain activities or go place they don't like.
Which of the materials have you each read so far? We have read His Needs, Her Needs, some of Love Busters, quite a few articles on this website. He has listened to a few of the radio shows as have I. And also, Fall in Love, Stay in Love
Me 56
Husband 63
Married 37 years
7 children, 6 adults, last DS 17
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Is he willing to come up with a plan to eliminate Disrespectful Judgements? I have been searching, but cannot find, guidance to come up with a plan to eliminate Disrespectful Judgements. Is there material on this?
Me 56
Husband 63
Married 37 years
7 children, 6 adults, last DS 17
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I am missing something.we have read those links and see where we can improve. So then, does "make a plan to eliminate love busters" mean to just try to stop doing them? Or is there a process of some sort?
Me 56
Husband 63
Married 37 years
7 children, 6 adults, last DS 17
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Is there current information about Marriage Builder weekends? Are there still being offered? They changed the program somewhat so you don't have to fly in for the kickoff weekend. Instead you would do it online through a series of videos. The various courses are here. #3 is the equivalence of the weekend program. Thanks. It would be nice to do some face to face counseling. They don't do face to face counseling, but you would be assigned a Marriage Builders coach after you complete your videos who would guide you and your husband through the program. She gives you weekly lessons and then you go online afterwards to take a test. You would have access to Dr Harley on the private forum and your progress would be supervised by him.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I am missing something.we have read those links and see where we can improve. So then, does "make a plan to eliminate love busters" mean to just try to stop doing them? Or is there a process of some sort? Yes, you would just stop doing it. Recognizing your behavior as a lovebuster is 90% of the battle.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Is there current information about Marriage Builder weekends? Are there still being offered? They changed the program somewhat so you don't have to fly in for the kickoff weekend. Instead you would do it online through a series of videos. The various courses are here. #3 is the equivalence of the weekend program. Thanks. It would be nice to do some face to face counseling. They don't do face to face counseling, but you would be assigned a Marriage Builders coach after you complete your videos who would guide you and your husband through the program. She gives you weekly lessons and then you go online afterwards to take a test. You would have access to Dr Harley on the private forum and your progress would be supervised by him. I appreciate this information. Thank you for being so helpful.
Me 56
Husband 63
Married 37 years
7 children, 6 adults, last DS 17
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Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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I appreciate this information. Thank you for being so helpful. You are very welcome. It is a fantastic program! My H and I went through it in 2007 and are so glad we did.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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My husband and I are both excited about the program. He has always been open to conseling and asking for help. I am the reserved, private one. This program speaks to both of us.
Me 56
Husband 63
Married 37 years
7 children, 6 adults, last DS 17
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Is he willing to come up with a plan to eliminate Disrespectful Judgements? I have been searching, but cannot find, guidance to come up with a plan to eliminate Disrespectful Judgements. Is there material on this? The Five Steps to Romantic Love Workbook has the forms you can use to help with this. 5 Steps to Romantic Love
Last edited by Prisca; 01/15/17 02:27 PM.
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We are doing quite well with the MB steps.. planning UA time..brainstorming activities..avoiding LB's. Hubby is out tonight, he belongs to a pool league. He missed the last two Mondays to spend with me. On our planning worksheet he wants time Wednesday evenings to visit his parents (this has been his habit for a couple of years). Today he emailed me that a buddy called wanting him to go play cards on Wednesday, and says he will answer the buddy tomorrow. We haven't had a chance to discuss this.
I don't know how to answer him when he asks "how would you feel about me going to play cards?"
While I don't really have a problem with him playing cards, all of his activities away from me seem to trigger me somehow. I am struggling to work through my own thoughts here.
Should I have a problem with his outside activities if we can squeeze in our UA time in the week?
Me 56
Husband 63
Married 37 years
7 children, 6 adults, last DS 17
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UA should not be squeezed in around other activities. It is first priority.
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