But that's not the subject of this OT post. Well, it's the first.

I'm in St Louis (or is that St Luigi's?), and it's COLD out there and it's supposed 2 SNOW 2morrow. I think that's why I live in So. Cal. We do "climate". We don't do "weather." It's not in our jeans. When I called home this evening, I told my W that she's a purdy chick. And I think I was being honest AND truthful, all in one swell foop.

Anyway, I had dinner at this local BBQ house, and you know what? It's the midwest out here. And it's not really the midwest, they just call it that because they'd LIKE 2 be west of where they are, which is pretty far right of center of the continent, in my view! So, they had 3 BBQ sauces. "Original", "Spicy", and "HOT". Folks, I could have DRANK the hot stuff, it was so not so. Spicy wasn't any more spicy than original, just different tasting, and none were spicier or hotter than yellow mustard.

A little H2SO4 coulda helped that BBQ sauce. The samwich was pretty tasty otherwise, though.

I thought y'all needed 2 hear that.

-ol' 2long

<small>[ December 10, 2003, 04:04 PM: Message edited by: 2long ]</small>

2long,

You probably didn't appreciate your California climate as much as you will when you get back! You can really get some weather in the midwest!!

St Louis is a pretty neat place! But like you, I wouldn't want to live there! The weather can alter your way of life!! Csue

Hey,

If you don't like the weather here, wait 10 minutes or so and it will change.

Besides, we are the only city in the USA with our own carry handle.

-jC

The next time you are in the grocery store try to find some fresh or pickled habaneros. These are the hottest of the hot peppers. Cut the stems out and put about six in the blender with 3 or 4 cloves of garlic. Add a medium sized tomato with some salt. Add a little water if needed and mix on high. This mixture of hot sauce will light up the most experienced hot sauce aficionado. Plus, it’s fresh with no preservatives. I would suggest to go lightly with this sauce.

About the weather: I think the seasons are great. Here in OKC we get hot summers, beautiful fall weather, mild winters (always with some light snow) and somewhat dangerous springs with the tornados. It’s all part of a typical year in the South Central.

2long: We also lived in SoCal for about 15 years. Friends and family from other parts of the country with "real" weather and seasons (as they would say) would taunt us about no seasons in SoCal. We would tell them we DO SO have seasons: fire season, rainy season, mud slide season...

<small>[ December 05, 2003, 11:13 AM: Message edited by: Never Alone ]</small>

Neveralone,

Don't forget about Earthquake season, which is pretty much year long. Ole 2L is sliding up to see me even as we speak. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

JavaC, I do like that. The only city with its own handle. I have family in St Lugi as 2L calls it, and I wonder if they know that particular aspect of their city.

I must tell you that St. Louis is where I learned about the failure of the human beings ability to see what is there. I lived near St. Louis when the Arch was built. Shortly after it was built on clear sunny Sunday after noon a plane flew through the Arch. FAA comes out and starts talking to people and the plane was flying either east or west. It had 1, 2, or 3? engines. It was white, blue, green, or red. AND everyone saw this plane.

I guess what 2L is trying to tell us is that the folks there need a bit more in their sauce. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> Or the Bud needs to be toned down. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

2L, I here you are not going to grace our presence next week. You do realize that the BEAGLE lands in a few weeks before your toys gets there. Big doins, about to happen. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Must go. Hey 2L go to Cincinatti and try the "4 way" chilli. Gotta say that if you want some really GOOD and hot food, go to New Mexico, not that silly stuff you guys serve down south. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

JL

2long - REAL BBQ isn't very spicy. In fact, real "BBQ" has cole slaw on it that would tend to soothe any really spicy sauce anyway. The contrast of the cool slaw on the (temperature) hot or warm BBQ really helps cool the normally hot and humid climate where the REAL stuff is made and eaten. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

WAT

so the question on my mind is, 'where'd you go to get this bland bbq?'

as a former resident of st. loo (for five torturous years) i can understand the pain. good food food and st. louis are mortal enemies (unless you're on the hill). to wit:

in st. louis, there's this thing they call 'st. louis style pizza' and it's covered in -- the words of one of my buddies -- 'a$$ cheese.' what's that you ask? it's this blend of provolone and mozzarella, called provel, that coats the inside of your mouth and won't come off. it's truly horrible.

that everyone who lives there calls this tripe by it's full name is indicative of the city's inferiority complex. in chicago, you order pizza. in new york, you order pizza. in st. louis you order 'st. louis style pizza.'

when i was there i referred to the city as 'suburban arkansas.'

ummm ... i grew up in the midwest and there are just two seasons there: f$%^&*g hot and humid, and f$%^&*g freezing. spring and fall last about an afternoon and they're gone.

now, here in the rockies, we have all four seasons.

OK 2long, you got me again.

I figured "so he finally got his W to come to MB and he wanted to do a nice thread for her."

Ha, Ha. I fell for another one.

My Mom is from St Lou,

She told me one day she would be willing to move back if they could get rid of the humididy in the summer and have the average winter temp stay abound 60. Otherwise she said would stay in the desert southwest.

It is interresting how food changes from area to area. I have a good hot food story - about some beans, and the railroad. Remind me to tell it to you sometime. It is a true story, and not even a made up true one.

I notice you continue to go about doing good. I admire that in you, keep it up.

SS

Thanks for all the uplifting replies. I don't feel very uplifted right now. It helps.

My W sent a "happy B-day" email 2 Rat Meat yes2rday. She doesn't understand why I didn't tell her before that I don't want her 2 do that. She said that if I want NC, she'll do it, but she still thinks it's "s2pid". I told her "sure, I'd like that", but it's pretty hollow if it's not something she wants or respects. She does want our M, and says most of the right things - even all of the right things when we talk about the different ways we interpret what the other says. But RM is an insult. He must go.

He isn't responding 2 her, and she thinks he's angry with her for not coming 2 see him after he got tossed out last year about this time, after he got himself an apt.

We have some real garbage 2 deal with next couple of weeks about the house, so I really couldn't go out of town again. I'll be lucky 2 get some sort of agreement with our insurance company in place before I get 2 busy at work 2 think straight. We'll probably get screwed royally, whatever happens.

Sorry for the downer post. I really do know that it's just another rollercoaster dip. I know that I need 2 listen, and talk, 2 my W and what she's saying behind what she's saying, more than ever right now. Kind of like my own advice 2 Mortarman recently.

Interestingly, she said it doesn't bother her if I want 2 talk about our R on here. She doesn't think that counselors can help, and are just a waste of money. I can't make her go, she won't, but she said I could go again if I want 2. I do, but am really strapped while this house resolution is still up in the air.
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

-ol' 2long

We had been talking about the "worst" lows in the past 2ple of years. For me, it was when I was at our house out of state in Feb 2002, when I hiked 12 miles in the open desert and almost hitchiked out of her life. I told her "I pi$$ed on about 50 weeds that I'd renamed "Rat Meat". I probably killed them all.

She pointed out, rightly so, that RM isn't our problem. We are. Well, he's an issue, unless we understand that he's "gone" forever. I need it 2 be real, though. Not just a "promise" that can later be broken, like our vows have been (by both of us in our respective roles). Don't know if we can get there.

-2long <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

2L,

You don't say how you found out that she sent RM the happy birthday e-mail, but I'm hoping it was through her openness & honesty that you know.

Her response sounds like fog-talk. She just doesn't get how her insensitivity hurts. I have to say I'm encouraged that she says that NC is fine since it hurts you; however I am concerned that she seems to feel such a disconnect that she didn't figure out on her own that a birthday e-mail would cause you pain. I suppose more fog.

The good news is that it sounds like you had a pretty good discussion about this & she clearly places value on your relationship - definitely something to build on. CSue

2L, I don't get it. You said, "She doesn't understand why I didn't tell her before that I don't want her 2 do that. She said that if I want NC, she'll do it, but she still thinks it's "s2pid". I told her "sure, I'd like that", but it's pretty hollow if it's not something she wants or respects. She does want our M, and says most of the right things - even all of the right things when we talk about the different ways we interpret what the other says. But RM is an insult. He must go."

So... does your wife know you want NC or not? Who cares whether it's hollow if it's not something she wants or respects, as long as she does it? This part is about you and your need for safety and whether she's willing to take action to protect you. She doesn't have to understand where that need comes from in order to act on it, after all. My vote is for NC and extraordinary precautions. Why? Because it'll make YOU feel safe. And that's a key ingredient in all this.

CSue:

She volunteered the info. After the fact, as previously. And previously, I had 2 ask, she wouldn't offer, except the time she told me she was going 2 see him for work.

JustJ:

I agree. I will take NC however she offers it. I would like it 2 be her decision, and she knows it's one she has 2 make. I have told her dozens of times in the past year that I need NC, so she knows. She knows.

She wants 2 keep her "friend", or "colleague" at least. For me, none of that will work, because she tried this once already, and the A resumed. She also said that she was the "persuer", though she didn't call it that.

-2long

The truth?

It's been almost 2 years, and she's just sarting 2 come out of the fog?


We talked about the lawsuit against our insurance company. She said she was worried about the "pain and suffering" and her having 2 quit her job because of the stress. Well, THEY know about the A. They'll say she quit because of the A. She thought of this. I didn't think so at first, but after talking 2 the potential contingincy-fee based lawyer, I'm pretty sure they will. So, the A would come out if we sue.

We need 2 talk more about this, but we've been talking about settling the most amicably we can, without a suit. I don't think we're going 2 get anything less than "screwed", but I"ll try.

I just want it all done. The house issues are NOTHING compared 2 the fog she's in right now. ...


can I just quit? I'd like 2.

-angry, frustrated, 2long

2-long - No you can't quit. Don't give up before the miracle. Also go after the insurance company, I went after State %%%% and won. They weren't like a good neighbor.

believer:

Yeah, and we're not "in good hands" with our insurance company, either.

Worms! All of them!

-2long

Even I'm getting tired of ratmeat, he has to go! But I do like your name for him. Everytime I see it, it makes me smile. It's raining now in Southern California, but not cold. Hope you are back soon so you can take care of everything.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> can I just quit? I'd like 2.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">You are a grown man who can do whatever he truly wants to do. However, I have a feeling that maybe you don't really want to quit, but instead would like to lobotomize the part of your W's brain that cares (cared) about ratmeat, so that the fog would cease to exist once and for all.

Sorry, that sounded a little odd, but remember, you don't need permission from anyone to "quit" if that's what you truly want to do.

Just my cynical 2cents worth today,

Jen <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />