Good story

Takola sent me this when she first started helping me all newbies should have to read it. It got me through alot of hard times. It was everywhere. The frig, the bathroom, my office.
It is so true.
le

Whew!!! I thought there was some hidden message about how I'm fat and hide from everyone! *LOL*

Mike,

You are good.

I hate cats. I understand the point.

Dont ignore "Heavy Heart"......Help her.

We know Steve Harley is good....but most of us cant afford him.....

Help Heavy Heart..

Thanks Bud

Randy

MikeC2 way to go! With all the abuse of animals by mean people, it's refreshing to read a post like yours, you are certainly to be commended! Like you, my wife and I 'rescue' abused dogs from the local Animal Shelter. Right now, we have 2 female dogs, "Brittany" and "Sweetie Girl" - Brittany had been living in a bitty utility room and had apparently been choked and hit by her previous owners. We took her in, and (though not as long as your cat) we watched her come out of her shell. When we first got her, she was very timid, and was afraid of us. She would walk around the yard dragging her tail. That was this past January. Today, she 'prances' all over the place, and she gets along well with our guests, and especially our other dog. However, she is still timid in some ways, and we doubt if she'll ever change; however, we love her the same. Our dogs are indoor dogs, and we spoil them to death! Sweetie Girl, we got from the Shelter, and she was the most frightened timid dog you ever saw. Not so today: her and Brittany are best buddies and they get along very well, and Sweetie likes to lay on us and have us pet her head, etc. Both dogs have really 'blossomed' and it is a good feeling to know that we have 'saved' another 2 animals from being put to sleep - and besides that, they are so entertaining. Sorry if I sound like I'm 'beating our own drum' but I wanted to let you know that there are lots of others out there who also rescue animals and enjoy watching them be themselves. Thank you for posting, and also for reading this.
Harold & Linda T

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> It won't jump up on our bed now...except if we are making love. Isn't that strange? </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">We have one that jumps up there everytime too. He just watches. Kinda weird, so I usually throw him off the bed.

Mike C2,

You are one of the smartest people here at MB.

I lashed out at you in my last post ..only because I read a sad post by a lost soul and I wish I could be you in order to help that person.

Im sorry if I seemed to have picked....It was not my intention....

Your storys have always been an inspiration.

Keep up the great work.

Always your unknown pal...

Randy

I am a cat lover. I have always had cats. I find them to be very humanlike. I think cats can read your mind, more so than any other animal.

My son is severly dyslexic. He has had a very rough go of it. Last spring he asked me if I would buy a kitten for him, a cat that would be his very own. I did. I bought a beautiful tiny long haired black kitten for him. The kitten`s mother had been killed by a car and so it needed a new home although it was only six weeks old.

My son up until that point had had alot of trouble being organised. He had trouble taking responsability for ANYTHING. He did not have ANY particular interest. He had very low self esteem.

Well you should have seen him with this kitten. He fed it, changed it`s litter, carried it around ALL THE TIME. He also was very respectful of it, when it wanted down he put it down.

Now this kitten has grown into a huge black glossy behemothe. This cat will have NOTHING to do with ANY member of our family except my son. He will not come when called, he will not tolerate being touched. The only person whose existence he will aknowledge is that of my son. He`s so beautiful and his fur is so silky everyone wants to pet him but he`ll have none of it, except with my son. He follows my son everywhere. He sleeps with him. He comes when he`s called by my son. My son is the chosen one.

We could have gotten my son a dog. But I know dogs. It would have been a family dog. Dogs are not discerning. I am so pleased that we got this cat for my son. My son knows that there is something special about himself because of this cat. He knows this cat has picked him out of all the humans in our house to love.

I have really liked this story (as we have a now 16 y.o. tiny tortise shell cat that we rescued from the wild as a kitten- she's all that! Now she is very affectionate and visits all the members of the family. She now actually allows my kids' friends to pet her- though she is still skittish!). Its application to marriage is so true. We all need time to heal from the wounds that were inflicted -however unintentionally.

As an animal owner (2 dogs, 2 cats, 6 horses, 1 llama)I have seen remarkable changes in scared animals as well as humans when this is applied. I have been reading up for some time about "clicker training" of abused and wild domestic animals and the "miracles" resulting from operant behavioral conditioning. The amazing thing about it is that Harley has it in his marriage books!
Clicker training for humans <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> :
1.) meeting ENs (rewards and positive associations),
2.) ignoring bad behaviour to a certain extent(you can change your self, not the other person- but you don't let yourself be abused physically, emotionally or verbally- just like we would avoid being attacked by a wild animal!)
3.) removing all Love Busters as the spouse defines them- (not pushing them away by your actions, however good your intent)

IT CAN BE DONE!!
Maybe we ALL should read up on clicker training!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Seriously speaking... even my IC says that you CAN influence another person's behavior over a long period of time (Our CAT took us 16 YEARS!)if you consistantly treat them with understanding, validation (without necessarily agreeing- "I can see you are frustrated when _________ happens") and respect.
(But, as all of us have encountered in our lives-- humans CAN still decide to reject our efforts.)

Thanks for the bump up on this. It is very helpful to contemplate actions with this in mind!
Blessings to you all!

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Randy0220:
Mike C2, You are one of the smartest people here at MB.

And you are one of the most perceptive <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

I lashed out at you in my last post ..only because I read a sad post by a lost soul and I wish I could be you in order to help that person.

I missed this....I'll go look at Heavy Heart's posts. There are no wizards here, just people a few chapters ahead in the book....

^

^^^^

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Daisy37:
<strong>We could have gotten my son a dog. But I know dogs. It would have been a family dog. Dogs are not discerning. I am so pleased that we got this cat for my son. My son knows that there is something special about himself because of this cat. He knows this cat has picked him out of all the humans in our house to love.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Oh, but they are, especially in a case like yours.

Amanda

Dear Ace,

I think some people are cats and some people are dogs. I know I am a cat, so is my son. My H is a dog.

After going through rough times I retreat and become very wary. I want to be shown stability and security but other than that I want to be left alone. I don`t like to be pushed. I will decide if and when I feel secure. Then I will recommit myself. I want proof that someone is worthy of me.

My H is like a big ole puppy, panting and wanting attention. Abuse doesn`t faze him in the slightest, he`ll always come back for more.

We do have two huge dogs. My H loves those dogs. My son and I prefer the more discerning personality of a cat. If a cat loves you you KNOW you are special. Dogs love everybody.

It`s hard to say who the wisest though, is it the cat or the dog?

I think you can figure out alot about a person just by their preference in a house pet.

^

ascending...

Thanks for bringing this back up. It was a great read (kudos, MikeC2!).

I don't recall ever reading it before. And if I did, I didn't have the clarity I have now.

Petals

Yeah, something that happened today made me think of it. It is worth reading/rereading every so often!

That "something" wouldn't be Ms.H would it? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Nope. Talking with a teen who has had a rough time lately...