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#3006194 09/27/18 01:12 PM
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Been divorced 7 years. Was amicable when his SO wasn't allowed to interject her control or thoughts on him....He hasnt come right out and said he wants to reconnect but I know him...we were married for 25 years...I just dont know how to proceed....


Caren Payne
Caren4pets1 #3006197 09/27/18 06:55 PM
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Originally Posted by Caren4pets1
Been divorced 7 years. Was amicable when his SO wasn't allowed to interject her control or thoughts on him....He hasnt come right out and said he wants to reconnect but I know him...we were married for 25 years...I just dont know how to proceed....

Welcome to MB.

Could you tell us a little more? Why did your marriage end? Was his SO an other woman? Do you have any children? If youre divorced why are you still in contact?


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



BrainHurts #3006202 09/28/18 06:55 AM
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Marriage ended due to his affair. Which turned into a on and off relationship for almost 7 years. Yes, SO was OW. ! daughter; grown. I'm not sure as to why the questions if we are divorced why are we still in contact?


Caren Payne
Caren4pets1 #3006204 09/28/18 07:28 AM
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What is your question for us? I read your post again and don't see a question.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


Caren4pets1 #3006205 09/28/18 07:53 AM
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I find this NO help....Know It Alls...Better to continue to pay the 95$ a hour to my therapist....Lots of luck to all of you who think you have all the answers and can judge everyone!


Caren Payne
Caren4pets1 #3006206 09/28/18 08:09 AM
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Well, you can't get help if you don't ask for it. What is your question?


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


Caren4pets1 #3006207 09/28/18 09:34 AM
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Originally Posted by Caren4pets1
Marriage ended due to his affair. Which turned into a on and off relationship for almost 7 years. Yes, SO was OW. ! daughter; grown. I'm not sure as to why the questions if we are divorced why are we still in contact?

I was asking about contact after divorce because Dr. Harley recommends that separation/divorce due to an affair to go NC. The reason is that contact with someone who is having an affair can cause much pain to the betrayed spouse. So I was asking why you were in contact with your WXH in case I missed something. Him having contact with you and his OW allows him to get his needs met by both of you.


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



Caren4pets1 #3006511 11/13/18 10:53 AM
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Just my 2 cents. I guess I would want to know what changed that can assure you that your ex has no further contact with this OW?

Sounds to me like you totally disconnected from your H when he was with OW and now he is somehow reaching out to you. Did his A die a natural death?

I would want to ensure with evidence that OW is no longer in contact and will never be; easier said than done.

Also, have you examined how you feel about him after all this? Maybe you have no reason to reconnect?


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