Hey vmv!<P>I'm about two weeks away from my first anniversary of when this whole mess started. <P>I feel June was the lowest point of my existence...well, maybe February (discovery) through June(affair's zenith). The affair ended in July after my confrontation with her. We were doing very nicely in recovery until Sept when she reinitiated contact with the OM to be "just friends". That month was pretty tough too. But, since then, the contact has been fading. Withdrawal has it's highs and lows that's for sure. <P>As for our relationship, it is getting better as the days pass. I feel I have finished grieving over the loss of what we had together. I focus more on a new marriage with her. I feel much better about myself. She no longer holds my emotions in her hand. I still struggle with finding contentment sometimes. Now that I know what a great marriage is supposed to be, I don't want to settle for less. But, I also know it's going to take a while to get there. <P>We talk a lot - which is nice. Many of our conversations are actually hitting on resolving long standing issues which is great. We are friends again - that's really nice. I give her loads of non-sexual touch. Sometimes it turns into something more
. But, if she isn't interested I don't take it as rejection any more - that's a major accomplishment for me. <P>We dream about our future together which is nice. I cherish her everyday. I no longer have regrets. Somewhere along the way I found that I could go on without her, it's just nicer to take the journey with her. <P>I'm starting to get compliments from her now. I get calls when she'll be home late for what ever reason. I get kisses goodbye. I'm starting to get long hugs (when I ask for them - I figure hey if you don't ask you don't receive).<P>She doesn't have that "head over heals in love" feeling for me like I have for her; but I don't push it. She gives me what she can and I think the physical desire for me is sloooooowly returning. <P>I have found that the combination of withdrawal and PMS is definitely the time to give her space - lot's of space
.<P>So, I guess I'm doing OK. <P>BTW, I have your "What I've Learned" post tacted up on my wall here at work and read it often. There are so many gems in there that it continues to help me. <P>How are you, vmv?<P>SHA