Sailor Ron, <P>Haven't heard from you in quite a while and I was wondering how you are doing?<P>SHA

Hi SHL,<P>I don't mean to intrude on you post to sailor, but I haven't been checking the site reciently and I saw you name. How have you been doing?<P>Step by Step, Day by Day<BR>VMV

Hey vmv!<P>I'm about two weeks away from my first anniversary of when this whole mess started. <P>I feel June was the lowest point of my existence...well, maybe February (discovery) through June(affair's zenith). The affair ended in July after my confrontation with her. We were doing very nicely in recovery until Sept when she reinitiated contact with the OM to be "just friends". That month was pretty tough too. But, since then, the contact has been fading. Withdrawal has it's highs and lows that's for sure. <P>As for our relationship, it is getting better as the days pass. I feel I have finished grieving over the loss of what we had together. I focus more on a new marriage with her. I feel much better about myself. She no longer holds my emotions in her hand. I still struggle with finding contentment sometimes. Now that I know what a great marriage is supposed to be, I don't want to settle for less. But, I also know it's going to take a while to get there. <P>We talk a lot - which is nice. Many of our conversations are actually hitting on resolving long standing issues which is great. We are friends again - that's really nice. I give her loads of non-sexual touch. Sometimes it turns into something more . But, if she isn't interested I don't take it as rejection any more - that's a major accomplishment for me. <P>We dream about our future together which is nice. I cherish her everyday. I no longer have regrets. Somewhere along the way I found that I could go on without her, it's just nicer to take the journey with her. <P>I'm starting to get compliments from her now. I get calls when she'll be home late for what ever reason. I get kisses goodbye. I'm starting to get long hugs (when I ask for them - I figure hey if you don't ask you don't receive).<P>She doesn't have that "head over heals in love" feeling for me like I have for her; but I don't push it. She gives me what she can and I think the physical desire for me is sloooooowly returning. <P>I have found that the combination of withdrawal and PMS is definitely the time to give her space - lot's of space .<P>So, I guess I'm doing OK. <P>BTW, I have your "What I've Learned" post tacted up on my wall here at work and read it often. There are so many gems in there that it continues to help me. <P>How are you, vmv?<P>SHA

SHA,<BR>I also don't mean to intrude here (but going to anyway!), just wanted to let you know that I was thinking about you this morning and wondering how you were doing. It's nice to know that you are alive and well.

Thank you Betrayed!<P>It's nice to know that people are thinking about me. How are you? I haven't seen you post for a while. Maybe you're just posting where I'm not.<P>I'm offline for the weekend, but I'll be back Monday (Lord willing).<P>SHA

SHA,<BR>I don't post much. I've always done alot more reading than posting. I'm doing okay. Still have a few bad days, but they are getting less and less frequent.

Hi SHL,<P>It's so nice to hear that things are going well for you. You have worked so hard to get to a place in your marriage where you are starting to see a very bright light at the end of the tunnel. I'm proud of you.<P>Things are going well with me, of course there are moments when thoughts of uneasyness fleetingly come to mind, but they are very rare and I refuse to allow them to last very long. We are almost back to a point as if nothing ever happened. The difference is that the good changes in our life have remained and yesterday is history.<P>It's going on 2 years for me, what a long and difficult journey, but worth it.<P>We are both very much in tune with each others moods and feelings and I think we know where we want to be...and we are getting there.<P>For anyone out there still struggling with the pain, feel rest assured that time truely is the greatest healer and thinks will get better. Many times I felt like giving up..what a waste that would have been.<P>SHL, you have done a good thing for you and your many years to come together. I wish you the best.<P>Step by Step, Day by Day<P>VMV

Betrayed & VMV, <P>Thanks for your update. I thought Sailor may be lurking, but hearing from the two of you is serendipidous indeed!<P>Don't be strangers.<P>God Bless,<P>SHA