I'm 20, been with my bf 2 years, long-distance relationship, and things are great between us except for the missing eachother and not getting enough attn/affection when we're apart. I might a get a dog to help out there. :-) Anyways, he's in the military, so he's often away, and when he's near near = 6 hours drive away), I generally can only see him on weekends because I go to school. Its a financial drain to drive 12 hours a week, and its a pain too. I have to be the one driving because I have more days off, whereas he just has the 2 day weekend. Its also an emotional drain to keep missing him, and it can be really frustrating. He's going to be deployed in the fall - not sure for how long, any amount of time between 3 and 10 months, most likely 3-6. So this summer, when I'm not in school will be an important time for me to see him more. I have read the rationale against living together, but I wonder if, due to circumstances, I should take these 2 summer months to move in with him.
Here are the reasons why it might not be worthwhile. He works 14-16 hour days, so I might not get to spend more time with him, especially if I work waitressing nights. I might end up just chillin with him on the weekends only, same as if I didn't live with him. I am unlikely to meet many friends up there, as its a hicktown, and the people there aren't really my bag. It may be harder for me to cope with him getting deployed if I don't cultivate my own stuff going on close to school. I may resent him if I move up there to be with him and he can't spend any more time with me. <--probably unlikely
And, of course, marriage builders does not generally recommend it.
But, like I said, I rarely get to see him, and there's plenty to gain from moving up there for a couple months. We've also shown a comittment to eachother - this wouldn't be a "lets test things out" kinda thing.
Also, I wrote in another post on these boards that I won't consider marrying him until he's out of the military, and he knows this. This is because inherent in being employed by the military is the fact that his job is his life, and comes first in every situation. I want my future husband to put me first, ahead of his job, and it isn't possible now.
Second, I want to live with him if we're married, and the places we'd live would not be places where I could find a fulfilling job. I'd need to be in a city - and my future career is important to me. So, seeing as how I'm very young and he's probably not going to be in that much longer, I feel like its best to wait until conditions are ideal for marriage.
Any advice on whether we should live together this summer?