Margaret<P>I assume you don't have direct access to this person's computer, so sending a virus might work, but there are risks. By the way, sending a computer virus is illegal and I am not advocating you do it. The virus would go to work erasing the harddrive, or selected files (scanned files). If this person has made a backup you would not be able to erase them, and I bet she would be very, very angry at that point. She could then release the files and call the police.<P>I would recommend not doing anything about it. She enjoys the power she has over you so if you let her manipulate you she will continue. If you are worried about what your son will think, why not tell him what happened? that his father had a cyber-affair, the person has gone nasty, and she may send some letters to him. He will understand and respect you for telling him, and will appreciate the fact that you respected him enough to tell him.<P>If the OW is forcing your husband to continue contact, let him respond via e-mail, with you sitting with him while he responds. Keep the messages short. Start increasing the delay between the responses. Tell her you told your son. As she learns she has no power, and gets no pleasure from the contacts, she will drop the threats. And you can get on with your life.<P><BR> <BR>

HA - You can can hack into ANYONE's email account ANYWHERE if you know their user name and password. You do need to know the password. I used to hack into my W's AOL account until she discovered that I was doing it and changed the password on me.<P>Margaret - There's no way to access someone else's computer directly from yours, unless it's on a network, and people's home computers typically aren't.<P>--Wex

trust n truth<P><BR>did you ever figure out in aol instant messager a way to view instant message conversations

Is there anyway to break aol login password without user knowledge?

Is there anyway to break an AOL login password without user knowledge?

Happy again,<BR>Really try the key logger...I got the Stealthlogger version for $24.50 and it is wonderful (the cheapest I could find on the internet). I found his password, and he had been in her hotmail account as well. Tada, I see both sides of their conversations.

Hi All,<P>I really don't have anything new to add here but find it very interesting topic.<P>From my own experiences my H the betrayer put a keystroke program on my computer without me knowing it to see if I was cheating on him. I guess then he could justify his affair. I have know idea what program it is but I know where to look for the log,he told me. You can get aol password from here and log onto others account without them knowing.<P>It sure would be nice to connect somehow to OP computer. Sometimes I wonder if my computer is connected to hers via my h to keep eye on me (I am doing nothing wrong btw). Does anyone know if this is possible?<P>Caller ID: wish I was smart enough to have two boxes at the time. The minute he found out about it he had a fit and then was able to work around that.<P>I will keep looking here for more tricks and thanks for all the wonderful ideas so far. I really like the one where you go through the trash.lol<P>[This message has been edited by Pinky (edited March 12, 2000).]<p>[This message has been edited by Pinky (edited March 12, 2000).]

Me again, <P>I have some questions.<P>1. How can I found out what keystroke program is on my computer? H installed it and can't remember. He told me where log is but that's all I know. He is one having affair but tryed to spy on me maybe to justify affair.<P>2. Is there anyway to research past of OW? I have full name, address and workplace. Is there anywhere on the net to do this? Or, can a private eye do this? And, how much do they cost to hire if anyone knows?<P>thanks, Pam

Hi Pam,<P>I probably shouldn't do this but this is an e-mail I got. I am going to paste it into here. I do not know if it is legitimate or not. Anyway, it says you can find out all sorts of stuff about people. I would like to get it but I am afraid it might not be for real... So, if you get it and it doesn't work, I don't want to be held responsible. I have been hanging on to this e-mail for quite some time. I might use it to see if I can dig up any dirt on the ow in order to keep her away from my kids. They haven't had to meet her yet but I suppose that if my h is going to keep being stupid and stay with her that eventually they will have to meet her. GAG! <P>Woozy <P>INTERNET SPY ORDER FORM!!<BR>////////////////////////////////////////<BR>This is a one time mailing! No need to be removed. <BR>////////////////////////////////////////<BR>CONFIDENTIAL INFORMATION YOU WANT TO KNOW.<BR>This is the software they want banned from the INTERNET!<BR>"The Internet Desktop Spy" shows you how to get the facts on anyone using the <BR>Internet.<BR>LOCATE MISSING PERSONS, find lost relatives, obtain addresses and phone <BR>numbers of old school friends, even skip trace dead beat spouses. This is <BR>not a Private Investigator, but a SOFTWARE program DESIGNED to automatically <BR>CRACK YOUR CASE with links to thousands of Public Record Databases<BR>Find out SECRETS about your relatives, friends, enemies, and everyone else! <BR>-- even your spouse! With the New - "Internet Desktop SPY"<BR>You will be AMAZED at what you can discover:<BR>LICENSE PLATE NUMBER - Get anyone's name and address with just a license <BR>plate number! (Find that girl you met in traffic!)<BR>DRIVING RECORD - Get anyone's driving record!<BR>SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER - Trace anyone by social security number!<BR>ADDRESS - Get anyone's address with just a name!<BR>UNLISTED PHONE NUMBERS - Get anyone's phone number with just a name- even <BR>unlisted numbers!<BR>LOCATE - Long lost friends, relatives, a past lover who broke your heart!<BR>E-MAIL - Send anyone anonymous e-mail that's completely untraceable!<BR>DIRTY SECRETS - Discover dirty secrets your in-laws don't want you to know!<BR>INVESTIGATE ANYONE - Use the sources that private investigators use (all on <BR>the Internet) secretly!<BR>EX-SPOUSE - Learn how to get information on an ex-spouse that will help you <BR>win in court! (Dig up old skeletons)<BR>CRIMINAL SEARCH - BACKGROUND CHECK - Find out about your daughter's <BR>boyfriend! (or her husband)FIND OUT - If you are being investigated!<BR>NEIGHBORS - Learn all about your mysterious neighbors! Find out what they <BR>have to hide!<BR>PEOPLE YOU WORK WITH - Be astonished by what you'll learn about the people <BR>you work with!<BR>EDUCATION VERIFICATION - Did he really graduate college? Find out!<BR>"The Internet Desktop Spy" will help you discover ANYTHING about anyone, with <BR>clickable hyperlinks and no typing in Internet addresses! Just download the <BR>software and go! You will be shocked and amazed by the secrets that can <BR>be discovered about absolutely everyone! Find out the secrets they don't <BR>want you to know! About others, about yourself!<BR>LIMITED TIME OFFER -- ORDER TODAY! ONLY $20 (US)<BR>You can dowmload the "The Internet DeskTop Spy" software NOW so you can begin <BR>discovering all the secrets you ever wanted to know! You can know EVERYTHING <BR>about ANYONE with "The Internet DeskTop Spy" software. <BR>- Works with all browsers and all versions of AOL- PC Versions available Only!<BR>DON'T WAIT TO GET STARTED… It's as easy as 1, 2, 3. <BR>ORDER TODAY - While this software is still legal!VISA/MC ONLY<BR>For Credit Card Orders, Click on the link below:<P>CLICK HERE TO ORDER NOW! <P>NOTES:- This program will not work on Windows 3.11 and older<BR>- DISCLAIMER - The seller of this powerful software resource will not be held <BR>responsible for how the purchaser chooses to use its resources.

Well, I see the links didn't work anyway. Hmmmm.... I will check into that!<P>Woozy

<P>I have nothing to add, just want to say I LOVE THIS THREAD! don't let it die... <P>Keo<P>PS. if anyone gets the spy thing, let me know if it works. sure could have some fun with that <P>

Well, I just checked the link for the internet spy thing and it isn't working any longer. So, it is probably just as well. Bummer though. It looked so promising!<P>Woozy

I once purchased someting online called "Net detective" and found it was nothing more than what I can search for on yahoo. Many of the links they gave you where ones that I was familiar with already and many of these services require a form of payment to get the info. My only income source is h and my little part time job so I don't have money to invest in these things at the moment.<P>Since it has been a while since I used this program I will relook it over and post anything real interesting. Just don't know when I will have the time with busy week ahead, but I will try.<p>[This message has been edited by Pinky (edited March 12, 2000).]

Hi Pam,<P>Thanks for sharing that info. I wondered about it. That is why I never did it. I know what you mean about the income thing. I sucks big time! Right now h is still paying the bills but niether one of us has filed for divorce yet. <P>Woozy

I did things the old fashioned way. When I first discovered affair , I checked her call register on her cell phone and traced it back to her place of work. I called the number and when I got someone I told them I was looking for someone that helped a relative of mine and I wanted to send him something. This particular dept had only two men, both of which happened to have the same first name. I was able to verify who he was, because I knew the one guy and using some info she had given me before, that she was going shopping with a new friend from another town, i asked the coworker if the other guy was from that town. They told me yes so I knew i had him. I later confirmed it when I checked the phone bill and found a call to his home. Infortunetly all their calls were her calling him at work. HE onlt called here twice that I know of unless they had a system for contacting each other when I was at home. I thiink for the most part everything was an EA until she spent the day with him "shopping." I discovered 2 days later when he called.<P>The other snooping I did, was I went through my w's purse. I found cards she had bought him and the ring he had bought her. I also eaves dropped on a phone conversation that she receieved from a jeweler. So I went to the jeweler and pretended I had taken a message. I talked them into showing me a necklace she had bought him and inscribed with almost the same inscription as on our wedding bands.<P>I've also used the internet searches to track down where he and his mother live in Fl.<P>As someone said, it is fun.<P>As to Sadpete, I guess it gives a feeling of doing something instead of just taking it.<P><BR>Bob<P>------------------<BR>"You can't always get what you want! But if you try real hard,you might just find, you get what you need!"<BR>Mick Jagger

Pinky,<BR>Try....<BR> <A HREF="http://discreetresearch.com/" TARGET=_blank>http://discreetresearch.com/</A> <P>Good, dependable site, and if you have questions,,you can email them and they WILL answer.

Thanks Nerlycrzy,<P>I am familiar with that site and thanks for reminding me of it. I know a lot about OW as far as name, address and employment, I just want to see if there is any dirt on her out there...lol. <P><BR>Good Luck All!

Get a Voice Activated Recorder and put it into their car under the dash, in the door or under the seat. Road noise will be loud at times but you can estimate time of travel with length on tape to determine the OP whereabouts. I got it down to 2 blocks from the OP's house. Then I used the internet maps (many to choose from) to triagleate the residence. Finally found it. To further document the deception, you can also install one of the smaller video camera's in the grill of the spouses car. Works great to find location. Can be set up to run off the battery in the car also. 6 hour tapes are usually good enough to catch something. <P>Blacklights work good for fluids. Background check the OP for records, past marriages, deliquent alimony, warrants, etc. Find out how much they paid for their car and house and who their neighbors are. Even found out where his family lived and had maps to his house in case he hurt her again. Most of this I did for the protection of my boys. Needed evidence for my own suspicions, but, to keep your children away from a lunatic was worth it. Once the OP ssn is known, public records can be obtained at any court house they have been in. Useful information for me and my boys.<P>There are number catchers that catch all ingoing and outgoing dialed numbers regardless of what device is making them. Put your monitoring devices in the basement or the attick. *67 *69 all work well. Document with video, audio and photographic. Trash is very reliable. Fine tooth comb those seats and rugs in the vehicles and wash the windows often. Fingerprints can be found on nearly any clean or slightly dusty surfaces. <P>Many more snopping techniques in spy kit won't be revealed here.

Has anyone ever hired a private investigator? I am thinking about doing this. My H previous affair was always when he was out of town with her.

Haven't used it, but I know a police officer in my town that does. For logging where a car went all day, you can get a GPS, and then there is a recording program that records where you are every 30 seconds or so, and you transfer the program to your computer, and you can see the route the car travelled while it was recording.<P>Not going too get you much unless WS uses car to go to different or special places.<P>