It has been over two months since I posted anything new. I have not lost track of MB or some of the excllent advice. I went to plan B. It seemed to work very well. I cut her off from everything. Do not call,no visitation...zippo.
She has now started to come around a little bit. She even called lat week to tell me how much she misses me and how much she loves me. But a funny thing has been happening. (Though it is painful to think that she might come back). I am finding my bearings rapidly now and beginning to think that there is a life without her.
I am also wondering if she is worth the trouble anymore. I may be patient for a litte while longer...but not much. I have a set a date to file for divorce. But not before the holidays (thoI wanted to after the way she treated all of us). But I will wait..She has even told some of herfriends that she doesn't want a divorce,even tho six weeks ago she did want one. She will be very surprised when she gets the paperwork. I am going for the whole enchilada. Custody, support... everthing.

Hi Gregg M.

I'm glad that you came back to give a 'progress' report on your marital situation.

It doesn't surprise me that you want nothing more to do with her because of all the pain and suffering she has put you and the children thru. Even though this site is to help rebuild marriages, it is generally accepted that NOT ALL marriages can or should be saved.

There are some people here that will say that her saying that 'she misses you and how much she loves you' is a positive sign that she is coming out of the fog, but I beg to differ because those same words are so common from a cake eater spouse that is afraid that the BS has finally had enough and is ready to leave her/him and move on with his/her life. Her words are worthless and she should know that you consider them so and that the only way she can start proving herself is to get into counseling with you to identify what issues were the driving force is chosing to have an A and following a plan of marital recovery a la MB to rebuild the M.

DON'T make the mistake of accepting her back into your lives without an explicit agreement where she will work her butt off to rebuild the M, otherwise as soon as her fear of losing you is gone she'll once more start her A and leave you and your kids once more. So be on your guard and don't beleive anything from her until you see it.

Coffeeman is right! Listen to him.

Good luck in making your life and the children's a happy and healthy one.