My counselor is letting me borrow these tapes. There are 5 in total I think. I have 2 right now and me and my husband are going to start watching tonight.<P>Just looking for your opinions. Anyone used them or can give me some insight on how helpful they are?<P>Thanks

I haven't heard the tapes but I liked the book. Generally speaking, with a few exceptions, I think he's got it nailed down.<P>Let us know what you think.<P>Lori

Have read about the tapes & know about the book and everybody says they're good. W used to have the book and insisted that I read it- I didn't, guess she was trying to tell me something and I missed it. Is your H also listenting to the tapes or reading the book? It could probably help.

We have both books, the original and also Venus and Mars in the Bedroom. They are both good in my opinion. The hard part for me is separating what you know as truth and fact in your mind and then controlling your heart and feelings.<P>Know what I mean?????

Hummingbird,<BR>I read the book after I read HN,HN. I liked HN, HN better because it left it more open to everyone is right which is impossible. Everyone can never be right when some of those rights are diametrically opposed to other rights. Just how I felt about the overall book. Most of what he says is the same as what is in HN, HN.<P>------------------<BR>God Bless,<BR>Rob<P><BR>

Yes I bought the series about a year ago. They gave me a greater insight about the differences of men and women. I have watched them numerous times, only problem is the wife will not watch them. But I truly believe if both watch them they can be of great benefit, to a marriage. However both must be commited to the relationship.<BR>Good Luck

Everything I'vd heard so far is all good about him and his material.<P>I'm really excited and looking forward to watching the videos. My husband isn't much of a book reader, so the video tapes should be a great tool for him. We're going to start watching one tonight.<P>The first one is Marucians and Venusicans, goes into detail on exactly how men and women are different. The 2nd is on learning how to communicate.<P>I watched the first 10 minutes alone this morning, and he was very good. He talked about how when we're first attracted to someone it has all to do with chemistry and that we are only attracted to people who are different than us, and how we can even exaggerate how we are similar in the beginning for example "yeah, and we both love coffee", and then once we're married and together for awhile all those differences really start bothering us and affecting the relationship.<P>It really hit home with me because one of the reasons why I feel I fell in love with my OM was because we were so similar, all our likes, dreams, etc.<P>I'll let you all know about them when I'm done.

Please don't wait till you are done, fill us in along as you watch them.

I bought the book for a quarter at a used book sale. I had scanned it a few years ago, but now I'll pull it out and read it quickly.<P>Sometimes I think that the title is an understatement. Sometimes I think my H is from a different solar system <P>Please give us updates!<P>------------------<BR>Faith, Hope, Love Remain,<BR>but the greatest of these is Love.<BR>1 Corinthians 13:13

And once you get John Gray's stuff digested - you might want to consider the other side of his philosophies by reading "Rebuttal from Uranus" at <A HREF="http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/women_rebuttal_from_uranus/welcome.htm" TARGET=_blank>http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/women_rebuttal_from_uranus/welcome.htm</A> <P>The intro reads: <P>This page is exclusively for the critical review and analysis of the enormously popular (as puzzling as that may be) self-help book Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus: A Practical Guide for Improving Communication and Getting What You Want in Your Relationships (New York: HarperCollins, 1992). Despite its promotional hype, at its very core it is a sexist, patronizing, male-centered invective which does little more than perpetuate long-held negative gender stereotypes.

I read somewhere that the good Dr. Gray's own marriage didn't work out.

Karma - the "butt" and "anus" of <I>Rebuttal from Uranus</I> didn't get past me!!<P>Never Again, you are right. He was married to Barbara DeAngeles and they are divorced. Furthermore, John Gray has a bogus degree in Psych. <P>The book is fun, entertainment. Don't take it too seriously, Hum.<P>~Sheryl<P>------------------<BR>Life is what happens to you while you are busy making other plans.<P>~John Lennon

Ya, new_beginning - it's an awfully cute web page title. Gotta love it!<P>At the end of the webpage are some book recommendations that are beyond the Mars/Venus sexist point of view - check them out. <P>There's something seriously wrong with John Gray, and my experienced radar as a makeup artist says "CROSSDRESSER!" It's the hair, the Richard Simmon's tears in his eyes, the lack of masculine behavior (pardon my sexism). I think he's got frilly panties under his suit. <P>

Karma - <B>HA!</B> Right on the money about John Gray... I thought something seemed fishy... and I have waaaaaaaaaay more respect for Richard Simmons, who at least knows and loves who he is!!<P>~Sheryl<P>------------------<BR>Life is what happens to you while you are busy making other plans.<P>~John Lennon

Hummingbird, don't let the negative comments discourage you.<P>If you and your H can watch the tapes, see a little of yourself in them, laugh together maybe, then why not.<P>If communication is opened up, who cares if he is wearing panties.<P>Your a smart woman, you can filter what is of value and you can disagree and discuss all of this with your H.<P>I found with my H it is sometimes easier to discuss "in theory" rather than talk about "us"...I think because it is not so personal and neither one of us is defensive or sensitive like we can be when talking about "us".<P>Snuggle up, pop some popcorn and then open up to each other. Have a great evening.<P>------------------<BR>Faith, Hope, Love Remain,<BR>but the greatest of these is Love.<BR>1 Corinthians 13:13

Karma,<P>I just checked out the website, what a HOOT!<P>The report on his personal success workshop was THE BEST!<P>Hum, <P>Not trying to be negative... you two have a nice night together and get what you can out of the tapes!<P>~Sheryl<P>------------------<BR>Life is what happens to you while you are busy making other plans.<P>~John Lennon<p>[This message has been edited by new_beginning (edited December 16, 1999).]

Thanks to everyone for replying.<P>I know everyone is entitled to their opinion and not everything works for everyone. <P>I'm going to keep an open mind and give it a shot, if anything, it's time with my husband that we can share and at the least hopefully laugh together.<P>FHL, what you wrote:<P>"I found with my H it is sometimes easier to discuss "in theory" rather than talk about "us"...I think because it is not so personal and neither one of us is defensive or sensitive like we can be when talking about us"<P>Oh, this is so true with me as well. He doesn't feel as though I'm attacking him and expresses his feelings more easily.<P>

I have read Grays' books and found them to be helpful with communicating but very stereo-typical concerning male/female behaviors. Although he does give indication that everyones different I felt it shoud be a personality type issue. The book about the beroom made me feel uncomfortable due to the suggestion that if you don't give into your H sexual needs he'll have an affair. So as woman are we suppose to just as "lets just have a quickie" to keep our H from feeling oblicated to find sex else where? Are we underestimating an adults control over not getting his way? Gray is a man and I think he is stressing the need for sex too much. Don't some woman want sex and can't always get it? Just venting! <BR> Take Care,<P> BECCA<BR>

Becca,<P>The answer to your last question is yes and these women also leave their husbands just as women who don't get their needs met on emotional issues. Sex is very important to many men and is a need. You will just have to take men's word on that. <P>Actually, your comment on sterotypes interests me. Sterotypes are not wrong and are the natural human process of trying to see patterns in things and people. What gets people in trouble is using sterotypes of people instead of getting information about the person they are dealing with. But sterotypes exist for a reason. There are often repeated patterns in groups of peoples behavior that is common and is sterotypical.<P>I guess I am going to have to read " Men are from Mars, women ..." to stay up with this conversation. <P>JL

I haven't read "Men are from Mars...", but a friend of mine related some of it to me. My therapist warned me that this was "Pop Psychology" and to very careful of how much of the philosophy I took seriously. She said it made for entertaining reading, but there wasn't enough truth in it to make it a reference.<P>Sheryl -- You mentioned Barbara DeAngeles. I think that she has been married at least three times. I kinda thought that that might make her an expert on relationships, but not necessarily "good" relationships..