FBOW, you can do this too. Pat yourself on the back for a job well done. There is nothing wrong with givng ourselves Kudos.

We are taught as a society to not do this. It is wrong. Why is it wrong? As long as we don't overinflate our egos. It helps to recognize self worth and create a positive self image within ourselves. (it worked for me) (along with a strong sense of stubborness)

Sue

Do not be jelous I did not tell you how I have to cover my gray(caused by teenagers I'm sure)and the lines I am getting I'm sure you dont have these problems.

The double edge sword,I have never seen OW H said she reminded him of me. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> I think he ment her personality.
Now I don't look like this but H said OW looked like "Fergie" when I talked to OW she said everyone tells her that.
Fergie is ok I don't find her drop dead gorgeous.

I guess I could compete with that.OW did say that my H told her that he had a beautiful wife.

Most women have some gray hair by the time they are 40. Can we say Clairol? I'm looking at the one, have not boughten it yet, by Loreal, it has the basic color and you put in the highlights where you want them. Is is a little spendy for home hair coloring. I know I will eventually try it.

I must own every type made by man or woman to help with the wrinkle area. I'm told i look in my 30's. I hope they are being sincere and not polite.

So, you are not alone in the aging category.

OW paid you a compliment? She was probably wondering why H was stepping out of M. Then again, did you see Star*'s pic? If fidelity was based upon looks alone, there are quite a few of MB'er who would not be here.

So true Sue,
I don't think it really has to do with looks.
Yes I saw her picture she is very cute.
As for OW,I hate to say it but she was really pretty nice to me,she told me how sorry she was it did not really help.

People tell me the same they think I'm about 35 but they know I have a kid in his 20's so they wonder.A couple of weeks ago some girls at work called me over and asked do you mind if we ask you how old you are? They were so funny.I think alot of it is my size,I think that makes me look a lot younger.

Like I told you before,I have got to stop crying myself to sleep because it washes away my wrinkle cream and then I have to get up and put it on all over again. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Personally I think crying is good for the soul. A way of cleansing ourselves.

I suppose I should explain (I'm not advocating crying everday)

After you have a good cry, you feel sort of tired, and exhausted, so no you have to sleep. Crying is a way of letting go of stress. Stress in excess is not a good thing

Hi Sue,

Well you will be glad to hear that yesterday I was good did not cause any waves with H and it was a better day.

Today I took everyones advise and just said I am not going to dwell on what he did but on what I need to do to become happy.

All was going pretty well at work until this girl she works security decides to come and help me we are getting ready for inventory.
She starts to talk about her x-BF and then tells me how his mom cought his dad cheating and she filed for divorce.I said a few things who knows what and then she says to me "Don't tell me you would stay with your H if he cheated on you,if you do I'm going to slap you."
Well this is one reason I keep personal buisness personal,but it is also things like this that make it so hard to forget.
I know in my heart I am a better person for wanting to forgive and work on my M.but it is still hard when you hear this stuff day after day and pretend it has never happened to you.

How is your day going?

And I agree crying cleanses the soul.
But it still washes off your face cream!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Cry first, then face cream <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

You know what a good response to the security person would have been. In these situations, everyone has their own reasons for staying or leaving a M. For each person their reasons are usually valid. No one is in a position to judge or critisize. Unless you have walked in their shoes, you do not understand.

(Of course I can come up with this. I was not in your shoes when it was said) I am so smart <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

See how easy that was to say I am smart <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

So, what has Ginger done for Ginger today? Or was that the good thing, not dwelling on things? If so, congratulations. Helped to make a good day for you.

Sue you are so smart that is one reason I keep hanging out on your thread,I'm letting it rub off on me. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Well the girl, she is not worth wasting your breath on,young doesn't really know what life is all about,not my type of person.
It was just the feeling inside of me that bothered me,does that make any sense.Knowing that he cheated,pretending that he hasn't.She would be the last person I would tell,that info would go through town faster than a wild fire.

I think that was it,telling myself I can be happy even with all that has happened,I looked in the mirror more than once and said,I am ok.I did this instead of saying I am getting old who would want me.I have this fear that I would be alone forever if H left,I think it is because he is all I know.

Well, companionship is nice. But alone is not bad sometimes. I am my own best company if I say so myself. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Okay, honestly, I don't want to be alone, but if my choice is to live with an H who will not give up OW, I will choose alone. You know why? I deserve better, that is why. (This is why if I go to Plan B, it will be a short one, this whole thing has stretched my patience to a whole new level. Normally, I am not patient, I want action and I want it now.)

Growing up, I had this friend, when we were in 4th grade her mom and dad divorced. When she was in Jr. High, her mom remarried. She divorced. Both husbands had drinking problems and infideltiy problems. She has been alone ever since and loving it. She does what she wants when she wants. She joined groups and stuff. One of the groups is nationally affiliated. So when members are travelling, they can still participate. She met a millionare, they dated a few times. He did not drink, was widowed, and says he was faithful to his wife. She was enjoying her freedom so much she declined his marraige proposal. I don't know if she loved him or not. So, being alone is what you make of it.

Now, don't get me wrong, I am not saying divorce your H. I'm just trying show you that being alone does not have to be what you envision it to be. It is what you make it.

You and you alone can decide what is important to you, what you can live with and tolerate.

OK here is the funny part.

Before the A,when H would treat me like dirt,I would dream of life alone.I would think I will stick this out until youngest graduate HS then if things are not better I will leave.I never thought about having someone in my life other than the kids and grandkids.

I don't know what changed this thinking,if it was the reality that he could just leave and not look back or the thought of him finding someone with what seemed to me like no problem I don't know.I do know that after d-day I began to relize that I still loved my H and really always have and that is why I always put up with so much.I also know that I was angry that he did that to me after all he has put me through.If anyone should have cheated it should have been me.The A has made me feel unloveable,ugly and old.

He use to tease when I turn 40 he was going to trade me in.That is how I felt like he found someone that was everything I was not.

I believe these feelings are what I am having the hardest time dealing with,and why it is hard for me to move forward.
His A destroyed ME who I thought I was,I never thought I could hurt like this and I do and I don't like that.I feel weak.I do not like that.I think some of my anger is at myself for feeling these things,and knowing that I am not any of these things.

Normally I am the strong one with the encouraging word,the one with a smile no matter what is happening I do not like what all of this has made me become.It has made me loose my faith in M,in love,and in trusting people.

It would be very hard but I know I could be alone.

I don't know who I think I am kidding.

I was going over the bank statement (I check it weekly online). And I saw a debit for Steak n Ale. The amount was the amount for two. Except he is pretty cheap with her. When we go out, our bill is at least double. The date is a week ago. (I know, it could have been anybody, lets face it, we know who.)

Hi Sue,

This is not what I expected to read when I saw you online.

Can you think of what he was doing that day?
When does he go while you are at work?

The only time he could do it is when I am at work.

I'm tired of his sneaking around.

Boards are paid for, All that is left to do is apply for jobs and study more for the test and schedule the test.

Sorry Sue

But I don't blame you.What does he do with the kids?

So I take it you found the check or got a new one.
Do you know when you might schedule the test?

Any idea of where you might work?

Why are some men so dumb and selfish.And why did we find them <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

There are very few smart men, so we are stuck with what is left.

No, we did not find the check. They sent a new one.

I have to wait for a letter before I can schedule.

What is the letter for?

Your right about the men.Would'nt it be great if they were as smart as us and as wonderful,could you imagine how great that would be. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Notice I said how smart!!!!!!!

I noticed, now you got the picture. The mistake women made was letting men think they could think <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> (I wonder what SS will say to this)(giggling)

The letter tells me I can call the testing center and schedule a time. They send that after my stuff has been processed and my money is good.

So, I sit and wait and study

Oh, asked H about transaction. He says he had dinner by himself and a few drinks. My response was this is more around the price of two meals. His response "I had a big steak". Yeah, sure. And I have a bridge to sell if anyone believes that one.

I'm not sure who needs the lobotomy more, me or him. I know I could benefit from one. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

Does anyone know what would be a good cake for a diabetic? For his birthday. I want to ring his neck, not put him in a diabetic coma