If he died of a heart attack at such a young age, maybe the stress of leading a double life and betraying the ones he loved got to him.

Does your H know the whole story about your BIL?

Dear Sue,
I am so sorry to hear about this unexpected loss of a relative.
I can't find the right words to express my true belief that "There is a larger plan for all you are faced with, and that you might be helped when you the least expect it".
Sue, my prayers are with your family.
FBOW

Sue
It never seems to stop for you.
I am so sorry for this.Are you close to your sister?
I know that you will have the right words of comfort for her,you always do.
Take care and post when you can so we all know how you are doing.
I am praying for you.That God will give you the strength you need.

Hi Sue and Ginger....finally updated my story. I have been busy trying to complete to new threads for the EN board. One is a Welcome thread....quite different from the ones in the past. The other is a concept based thread that cerri encouraged me to start there like the one she has here on JFO. Sorry I have been MIA. Also helping cerri when I can....she's got some big probs and needed some help delivering emails that weren't going through.

I will catch up....and miss you both. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> I am worried about Danish. I wish she would post. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

All of us our close, sort of. We get busy in our day to day lives, we try to get together, but don't always have time. We are always there for each other when we need to be.

My H knows about my BIL, he never says much. Except, he did make the comment that "maybe he never told them he was married" Honestly, I believe my BIL would have told them the truth about being married.

The last couple of years, I suspect he was probably faithful. He started having some severe physical problems that the Dr.s could not resolve. It is possible that these problems could be related to him having a heart attack. His back started deteriorating, and he could not work. He also started having some sort of nerve disorder, but no one could figure out what was wrong. He could not work, and when he did, the job did not last long. I know it bothered him that he was not working. For as long as we have known him he has always worked, some jobs did not pay as well as others, he always brought home a paycheck.

They were looking forward to my sister graduating from school this December, the company she worked for closed, part of the severance agreement was paying for school.

My sister and neice are doing well. My sister, all she can do is recall the night he died. Which is normal, my mom did the same thing when my dad died.

Well, gotta go.

yesterday, H was gone all day. I was not worried yesterday, he was with a friend who I totally trust. Today, he is, I dont' know. Cell phone is off, and he was gone when I woke up.

Hi Sue

My thoughts are with you.
I have the grandkids again.D starts school tomorrow and could not find a sitter for the baby,she has been looking for weeks everything is coming up empty.So good old mom to the rescue H and I will rearrange our schedules for a little while to help out.

We had a shock happen this weekend.A young boy,he is in his 20's was killed,shot by another man.He was the BF of my D friend,the girl is like a D to me.My heart is sick over it,they have a 1yr old who will now grow up without a father.So tragic and senseless.

I need to go baby is needing some attention,I will check in later.
Hate to hear that H is not treating you so well these days.

Sue,
I don't always know what to say, It's hard to care and not know what to do or say.

I think (knowing you) that you will be a great strength to everyone right now. I wish you didn't have to, but I know you will be.

I don't know if you will every get the rest you deserve, but I do know that no good deed goes unrewarded, and if you continue to do your best, you will be blessed for it. I have to think that will be worth it.

You do too, or you would have quit by now.

It is worth it, so don't quit. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Adding my faith to everyone elses in behalf of your family. Wish I could do more.

SS

<small>[ August 24, 2003, 06:14 PM: Message edited by: still seeking ]</small>

HI Sue

Just thinking of you.
Hope all is ok.

Take care. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

All is okay

One sad thing that about my BIL, well, it was good, it was sad at the same time.

He had a daughter from a previous R. A couple of years ago or so, she decided she did not want to see her dad anymore. They always tried to keep in touch, but did not force the issue. About couple of months ago, she started calling him and wanting to see him. On the bright side, he did not die before they made peace with each other, on the sad side, they lost 2 years.

My sister could not go near the where he layed without breaking up. She spent alot of time outside smoking. She is glad she has some pictures of her H and the kids at some very tender moments, such as kids sleeping on his chest.

BIL and sister won a trip to Mexico about 3 years ago, they went and had a great time.
She has that memory.

She was doing okay when I left the service yesterday. I had to leave, D had a place she had to be. Before I left, I made sure that one of my other sisters had arrived, so she had one of us there for her.

You still have backup.

Keep doing what you need to do.

SS

HI Sue

Some how I missed your last post.I am so sorry.
How is your S doing now?

Most important how are you?
Feeling any better?

I really miss you!!!!!!!!

Take care ok.
Hope to chat with you soon.
I am always thinking of you and praying for you.

My sister is doing okay. She starts school back up this week. She graduates in December. It will be a happy and sad day for her.

H has been different lately, a good different. I cannot explain. He is better. I've been through this before, so at this point, I cannot expect it to stay. Maybe it will. I will come back later and say more. I'm at work, so I have to be quick.

HI Sue

Glad to hear your sister is doing ok.
As good as can be expected I guess.

I have been so busy with the grandkids.
I have not felt real good lately,very moody thinking of the A way to much don't really know why.
H said something the other day I think that started it.Big trigger and I have not felt the same since.I feel like I am really shuting down.Not a healthy place to be.

Do me a favor ok.Don't work to hard tonight <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Any big plans for the long weekend?
None here I work this weekend,I have mon. and tues. off though.
D is suppose to come and pick up GS on mon. but will be leaving the baby for a little while.

Hope to hear from you soon take care. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

No big plans, study, laundry, make sure kids have everything for school. Clean house.

I have triggers too, they last a while, then I'm okay. It goes on and off. I don't think we ever truly forget. I think over time, it gets easier to deal with.

I am so tired today.

Im tired too.

I could hardly keep my eyes open past 8 last night.
I have been cleaning and doing my laundry today.
Oh what a nice day off <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

Yes the good old triggers.
It has gotten easier I guess I just figured by now it would not hurt anymore.
So much for thinking huh!

I hope you can rest a little this weekend.

I'll probably sleep in tomorrow. Then get my tushy in gear. I really need it.

I will be so glad when the 19th is past.

Is that test day?

Sleep what is that?LOL
Now that I am the temporary mother of two toddlers I am back to the old who needs to sleep life.
Its not like I was sleeping very well before they came but at least if I was dead tired I could take a nap after work.
Now...............not a chance.The baby is a climber and you don't dare close your eyes or turn your back on her for a minute!!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

You got it, that is test day.

I know what you mean about climber. My boys are 15 months apart. Everyone said, it was like raising twins, and I will not have a moments peace. I didn't know what they were talking about. It was easy with them as toddlers. Then came baby girl. She is more work, more creative, more innovative than the two boys put together. I lose more sleep over her than I did the boys. Good luck to you, hey, they keep you young.

Ginger, you have a heart of gold, has anyone ever told you that?

A heart of gold?Not sure what you mean by that.

Yes they keep you young and they are so fun,but boy do they wear you out.Makes me glad I had my kids young.

She just finished her dinner so the plate just went to the floor.So much for moping <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

I will try and remember that day mark it on my calander.Not that you will need it but I will pray extra hard for you that day <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

I need a vacation!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What I mean by a "Heart of Gold", is you are very warm, compassionate, giving, loving, caring, it shows in your posts to others and to me, it shows with you you love your kids and grandkids and how you love your H.

I hope he knows how special and what a gem you really are.