Thanks Sue
You are too kind.
I don't really feel like that,I do love and care for my family but lately I feel like it is all in vain.

Son had a drug test,it was not clean <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />
He showed up positive for pot.He has only been home a month.
This is so draining.I don't know what else to do to help him.

At least H did not blow his top at me this time and tell me he was leaving.Although he did say today that sometimes he feels like quiting it is just to hard seeing me hurting.

I wonder if he ever thinks about how hard this whole thing has been on me <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

You both have hearts of Gold.

I checked in and I see that you girls are doing fine considering it is Friday night on a holiday weekend. We were supposed to go camping but had transmision problems so got to stay home.

Since I can't possibly keep up with the two of you, I'll go, but wanted you to know I was thinking of you.

SS

SS
I have been wonder about you.How is life in your world?

Hope you have a good weekend even though you have to stay home.
You could be me I have to work <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />
Holiday weekend its sure to be busy.

Have a nice weekend.
You too Sue,enjoy the extra day off! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

SS is fine.

Since I had a day at home, I poured cement on the side of the house. Nice relaxing day.
NOT!!

The people that invited us camping reported that the weather was nice in the mountains and we should have come. (talk about rub it in.) Maybe next time.

Ginger, I can see that you won't get any rest soon, and Sue won't really relax until the testing is over with. I'll try and do it for you this next week.

Well, I would but I am still about two weeks behind at work. Maybe the next week.

See you girls later.

SS

Yep, no rest for me. I went into my boys room, with the intent of dragging all the stuff they hid under the bed, under the dresser and in the closet (their attempt at cleaning and thinking I didn't know it was under the furniture).

Well, in the process, I discovered the cat had decided to use the corner behind the dresser as a cat box (I know, gross). So, I pulled up the carpet, bleached the floor, washed it with an oil base soap (hardwood), then polished it. I kept wondering why I could not get rid of the smell after I would shampoo thier rug. Now I know.

H went out of town with his father, I was not totally thrilled with it, but H wonders when he will have a chance. My BIL's death, has him wondering when his father will pass. His father does not take care of his health, has already had bypass surgery and did not change his lifestyle one bit. Drinks heavy, smokes heavy and eats poorly. I wonder, was this really what he was thinking or just another excuse to go out of town. H did put on his ring, which surprised me (even though it is the ring I do not like). Lately he has been calling me hon, and has been very considerate.

I don't know what happened, but so far, I'm not complaining

HI Sue
Sounds like a big job,the floor in the boys room I mean.
H out of town?Do you trust FIL?
Where did they go?

If you look at the time and wonder what in the world I am doing up at this hour.Well its 1am here and both kids decide to wake up,they are watching cartoons and drinking OJ as I type away.I guess there will be no rest for me for a while,I wanted to get up early but this is not what I had in mind. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

I worked SAT and SUN it was real busy but I get to meet some really neat people at work,today(or yesterday now I guess)I met some people traveling to mexico.They were buying a gift for thier DIL to be,they had never met her,thier son had called and said he was getting married on tues.They were the sweetest people imagine they bought a heart shaped diamond necklace W/matching earings for her they wanted to bring her a gift, wish I had in-laws like that <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />
Another family came in to buy a wedding set for thier brother who was in the hospital and wanted to propose to his GF.

Some times its hard for me working there seeing all the kind acts people do for the ones they love.So many men coming in to buy something for thier wife just because she is so special.Some days I go home real depressed. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

Sue,Sue were are you? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Is everything ok?

Just checking in <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Hey Ginger,
I think Sue
confronted her H and he swore off OW, says he's madly in love with Sue, and they are gone to Hawaii for three weeks.

Actually, I don't know where she is, but she may be cramming for the test that comes up in a couple of weeks. She may have joined an expedition to the South pole, or she may be fileing for the presidential race as an independant cantidate.

There are other possibilities including working and taking care of her kids, but that sounds so normal.

I hope you are more rested <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> , very happy, and doing well yourself, and I hope WHEREVER SUE IS that she is also. FBOW seems to be much better lately, I think it's the drugs. I wonder if I can get some of those for me??

Sue, can you write perscriptions?

Just kidding. Once I took three asprin together but that's about as bad as I ever abused anything except icecream.

Much happiness and stuff like that to everyone here tonight.

SS

SS

I know that Sue is busy.I think all of the above are possible, however if she left for an island she was suppose to take me along we were going to leave All WS at home <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> now that would be some real R&R <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Right now I have a 3yr old eating HOT cheetos insisting that he likes them however w/every bite he yells "GRANDMA,GRANDMA,THESE ARE HOT"and is fanning his mouth.
The baby is putting her chair on top of the coffee table and trying to sit on it,I am so tired I'm not sure any of this even matters right now.That island vacation is starting to sound real good just about now.

As for me I feel like I am living in limbo,going nowhere fast!!!!!

I'm here, cramming for boards, finished the floor and my body again threatened to leave me.

Do I trust FIL? NO!!!!, but H is not dumb enough to do anything in front of him. FIL gets drunk and says what ever he feels like. So, H would not trust that FIL when drunk, which is often, could keep quiet.

FIL says he was faithful, MIL says he was not. FIL says MIL was unfaithful, MIL says she was.

So, who do you believe????? Lets go with neither of them, since both have proved to be liars at one time or another.

Well, H treats me better, but he still calls her.

I wish I confronted. I want this behind me.

Just been very busy.

Good to see your still with us.
Ive been busy too.
I am really tired.

I think my marriage is over.

I don't know if I want to try anymore

Yesterday, I had the feeling that I get when I need to re-evaluate my life. I have not been able to do what I need to do yet. I need time alone, to think.

I don't know if I want to try to save my marriage.

I don't know if I have the desire to work on my marriage

Tonight was the last straw. Boards are 14 days away, I need every spare moment I can get to study.

Last week, H says to me, I made plans for us to go up north camping. I told him, I need to study, besides, the kids have stuff every weekend. He knows that. He just called me and now says it is for a softball tournament. He always misleads things. I am sick and tire of if. And yes, I corrected him on what he said last week.

My MIL will help me out. There are times she frustrates me to no end. When it comes to important things, she helps me out.

Hi Sue
Sorry to hear this but I do understand.
Does he not realize how important your boards are for both of you?

My gosh you think he would be bending over backwards to help you.

Why are they so selfish?????????????????
I don't think I will ever understand what goes through a mans head <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

Hope you can study this weekend.
Are you going w/him?Or is he going to stay home and help out?

Talk to you soon.

He left this morning before I got up. I just got back from taking daughter to dance class. OS has soccer at 4, it is a 1/2 hour drive to get there. I also have laundry to do so the kids will have clean clothes for school next week. I may nto have time to get to the center today. I have to plan an hours drive time, 1/2 hour each way. By the time I get there today, it will be 1:00. I have to leave by 2 or 2:30 so I can get back for the dogs and get OS ready for soccer. We have to leave by 3. I can't get much done in that hour. I might study at home today. Maybe I will go after soccer. MIL says she will keep the kids

H did ask if he could get a room, do I want to drive up? It is a 3 hour drive, so that would be 6 more hours of lost study time, beside, the center is here in the cities, not up north.

Everything is about him, everything centers around him. He can't give up two lousy weeks to help me. He thinks the questions I will get are easy. I have a book of possible questions, or types of questsion to expect. I'm going to pick out some that I expect to be on the test. He said he will answer them. He thinks he will get them right

I am tired of being married to a spoiled selfish child. I have three children to raise, I didn't expect to have to raise him too.

I am sorry Sue.
Do not think your feelings of aneger and resenment are unreasonable or abnormal. I came to realize I cannot block those myself anymore, consciously or unsconsciously. Without going thru them I will never be able to really confront my M situation either.

I certainly wish you success with the boards, more so with all the hoops you have to go with finding time to study.

I don't know how you operate, but I do tend to achieve most and get most out of myself under unavoidable deadlines.

My H is going for a 3 day business trip tomorrow. I just learned about it from my D, not from him. He knew I wanted to join him as my getaway. Yet he avoided teling me again.

Well I am angry and disappointed, even though I understand that this time he will be with another coworker, so I couldn't really use his hotel room anyway.

Sue, I think I am enabler by bending over backwards myself - even if supposedly the A is over. My M is not back yet and I doubt H wants anything different than status quo. I, on the other hand, desipte horrible sorrow, am getting tired of the situation, I feel used and disrespected and I get ready to move on.
Separation seems to be less stressful alternative and practically not more difficult.
See you on my thread after you are done with your boards.
Best of luck to you.
FBOW

Hi Sue

I cant believe he left.I thought he was disabled?How can he play ball?
Sorry I just had to say that.I am just so tired of selfish men.
Remember I deal w/one on a daily basis.
Its all him and what he needs and wants.
You would think he could think of me just a little.
I guess that is just to much to ask right?
I am so sorry you are in this place once again.
I'm here if you need to vent.
Just let me have it <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> I can take it.
Try and have a good weekend anyway.

I'm going to see what studying I can get done here tonight. The center is closed. I really wanted to study there. They have some really awesome focus study books. I will be able to get some time in tomorrow at the center.

His actions today told me that I do not matter, what I want does not matter. That I am not important.

Did I tell you the rings came off? They did. I took them off and they are not ever going back on.

One reason being, the ring he bought me last December is not the ring I wanted. 2, when I feel like I am in a marriage, then I will wear a ring, but it will have to be the ring I want. I won't settle for anything else. But I don't see it happening because I have no desire to work on my marriage. I dont' care. I am so hurt by his lack of care and support about my upcoming boards. I worked hard to get to where I am at, and I am so worried I will fail. I don't feel prepared.

I will go and study now. I will only be back to vent if it is distracting my studies.

I just came to the realization I am capable of hate.

I HATE MY HUSBAND

All I ever wanted was a good marraige, someone who loves me, cares about me, and respects me. I have a horrible headache right now.

Why did I ever give him a second chance? I was happy and content when it was just me and the boys. We were doing fine. Why wasn't I selfish then, and tell him "no", I don't trust you.

After I adjusted to him leaving, and I started a life for myself with the boys, I was happy. I didn't need him or care if he was around. Why did I take him back? He is the source of my misery.

Hi Sue

You have every right to hate him.I know this is probably not a good thing for me to say.At times I feel the same here.
I feel like a nobody to him.
You are very smart and WILL pass your boards do not let his actions make you think different.I know that you know this but at times you just need to hear it from someone else.

I am going to leave you an e-mail check it if you have a chance. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />