</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">S 26 Married
S 24 Soon to be married
S 23 Married
D 21 Married
D 19 college, but lives at home.
S 17 Senior and acts like it
Twin D's 10 Surprise!, Surprise!
We had a golden retriever

No, but the first two are due within a week of each other in March...I don't feel old enough yet to be a Grandpa, but then, you sound too young to be a grandma, so I must be in good company. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">You've been busy my friend. Do you want to be a granddad to my 4 to practice? You'll be wonderful, don't worry. Just like Cosby says, you get to give them back! And golden retrievers are my favourite dogs too!

SwH

Stay strong. You can do this either way it plays out.

{{{{{{{{{{{SwH}}}}}}}}}}}

Sue,
I am so absolutely thrilled that you are now planning and moving forward. You are giving yourself a gift- a gift of peace. No matter what happens after you confront, you will NOT be the only one carrying the burden anymore.
Please know I will be thinking of you all through the holidays. ((((((((((((((((SUE))))))))))))))))

Sure SAB, it would be an honor to be that to your children, but you should know, I am not used to being a grandparent yet. With the twins only ten years old, I am still in the middle of being a dad.

I do love kids, and though I try to spend time doing things for me, and also with W, I spend a great deal of time with the children and enjoy doing it. I think life would be pretty useless without children around.

See everyone next week. I hope you all get blessed in some way this weekend - and that it is what you need the most.

SS

Hi SS
Well I look at it this way.I am to young to be a grandmother but I was to young to be a mother and I did it.Grandchildren are the greatest joy they bring such happiness into your life.They truly are a reward for a life of hard work.

How is Ginger??
Ginger is just OK these day.Recovery is very slow coming for me,mostly becase I do not get from my H what I need.
Lately I feel lonely. And that is no easy task I work full time and have two of the grandkids full time again.But I feel lonely.

H is still on strike and that is stressful but God is good and by his grace we are making it just fine,so far there has been money to pay all the bills,we have not gone hungry and we were even able to buy a few christmas gifts for the family.

Maybe 2004 will bring brighter days for me.

Hi all,

Just when I think things are improving, I wonder what am I doing in this relationship.

H gave me a great anniversary gift early. A package deal at a center that does therapuetic massage. It was an herbal wrap, facial, foot massage and a massage. I was so thrilled to get it. I had asked for it, but figured he would never spend that much money on me.

I saw an e-mail from OW, she is looking for cake toppers and wants to know about getting engraved champagne glasses with my married last name on it for "our" table is how she put it in the e-mail. Sounds to me like she is planning a wedding. He isn't even seperated from me.

On the plus side he did not respond as far as I could tell. It looks like he read it and put it in the trash. He did not even save it. She included a website that she found the cake toppers on.

I started my new job. It seems okay. I wish it was full time and not part time.

Let me preface this message with I don't know how you do it Sue, I'd come unglued reading stuff like that. Maybe you've dealt with it so long you are desensitized to it?

She seems to be getting pretty desperate, maybe he's been putting the brakes on? I do wish you'd out them, it makes my stomach turn to read about what you are dealing with. You have had all the pain on your back for so long.

{{{{Sue}}}} here's a hug for ya, you deserve it.

Maybe he is putting the breaks. I don't know. I know with him coaching hockey, that does take up quite a lot of his time. He is also forming friendships with other parents and stuff, I'm pretty sure if they knew the truth, they would be upset. Not for me, but because he is coaching their kids and he is presenting himself as some upstanding model citizen (with the morals of an alleycat).

I know some mutual friends of ours would not be very accepting of this. They value the institution of marriage very strongly. Once, when they were over, the husband made a comment that he does not believe in divorce. She said the same. She once told me that they went through a very rough time, and they came close to splitting because it did not seem to get better. Once the divorce word was mentioned by one of them, it was shocking to them, that they even considered it, and somehow worked through it.

How do I do it, I know I am not desensitized, sometimes I think i am, but I am not. If I was, it would not hurt me.

Maybe H is backing off, and she is stepping up the pressure, but somewhere or somehow, she got the idea that they were getting married. Did he propose? I doubt it, I think H proposed to me the same way he proposed to his xwife. Not exactly a proposal, but specifically saying he wanted to get married. Years ago, he did ask with flowers, and then he backed off right away. Cold feet, he said he wanted to be sure he was not proposing because I was pregnant. We stayed together two more years after that. When he proposed 6 years ago, it was in November, we married in December. He said, "how about we go to Vegas next month and get married". I said sure. I really didnt' expect him to follow through. The next day he calls me and tells me he is at the travel agency and wants to know if I can get these specific dates off". I said sure. He bought the tickets, a week later, we bought wedding bands. Not my dream wedding, but then again, I knew we could never afford my dream wedding, not with raising two kids. So, I figured this was probably the best I was going to get.

I am staying my my decision to make it through the holidays. I will not ruin it for my kids. I don't want them to remember this as the Christmas mom moved us to an apartment and left dad.

It's hard to know what he is thinking, but if he trashed it with no reply, I have to think that is good.

I really hope when you confront that it can be done softly, and that he responds by saying he loves you, and that it's time he did the right thing - which is N/C.

Sometimes I have hard feelings about people that do bad things to me. It is hard to remember that God loves us all, even when we make major mistakes. I can't think of any one I know well that is really evil. Most of us make mistkes though - and I have done my share. When we look back, we wonder how we could have ever gotten so far off track, and we are glad for the events that bring us back. I am hoping he will look back in a few years and wonder how he could have gotten off track so far.

Since we don't know how any given person will respond, it is usually well to give them a chance for their good side to win out. I hope his does.

The down side is that you continue the rollercoaster ride long after you wanted to get off. It's like the guy at the amusement park can't find the stop button.

Really, you have the stop button with you in the car, and it seems to be time to push it.

I hope you are not afraid. I really can't see a reason for it in your case. You wonder how you will ever make things work, but I see a happy future for you either way this goes. I don't believe I am wrong.

Sue, you are worth more than you sometimes think. Have some faith that things will work out. It isn't as bad as you sometimes think it is. If you put your trust in God, and have faith in him, he will help you. Ideas will come to mind, you will know what to do. Keep praying yourself, and we will continue to pray for you also. Move foreward with faith and confidence in your future - and you will find the happy life you wish for.

I know that it won't be without work, but that's not a bad thing.

SS

I plan to confront after the holidays. Until then, I will do an awesome plan A.

I won't confront before the holidays because if he leaves, I don't want to ruin the holiday for the kids.

Happy Holidaysssss
Happy Holidaysssss
Hmmm hmmm hm hm hm,
Hmmm Hmmm hm hm hm
Walkin in a wint -

Sorry, didn't know you were listening.

Happy Holidays to you too.

Forgive me, I kind of mix the songs all up when I get thinking about something. I wasn't paying attention. W says it's time to go, see you later.

SS

SS- you are so funny

Hi Sue,
thanks for the wishes, all the best to You and your family and let Peace and Joy and Hope of this season help you in the everyday life.

I will be off line for a while, traveling with ILs who are arriving tonight.

Will be thinking of you. Supporting you with my thoughts with your current plan and praying for the best outcome.

Till later Sue,
FBOW

Wanted to give a brief update

Good news - I'm alive, breathing and kicking (i'm not sure how strong the kicks are. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />
Bad news - I think I'm near coma state <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

The last two weeks all I've been doing is working and sleeping and eating. I mean that literally.

Between two jobs, I've been working near 80 hours a week. This is the last week of the orientation/training madness. So, soon, I will go to my everyother weekend scheduled shift.

I think the only reason I have not gone into a coma is because I refuse to acknowledge that I am pushing myself too hard. I just do what has to be done.

The last two weeks all I've been doing is working and sleeping and eating. I mean that literally.

I recommend you shower too.

- Ouch

I was just teas -

Ouch !

Look, -

Ouch, Ouch, Ouch.

Hey, I was just teasing !!

Please find a way to get some rest. Take your vitimans too, sounds like you need them.

I suspect we'll still be here when you get more time.

SS

Hi Sue
Thought I would tell everyone that I'm still alive too <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />
I agree w/SS try and take care of yourself,I sure miss you.
You Sue are the #1 champ at doing what has to be done.Your my hero!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

OOOPPPS, I knew I was forgetting something. Now I know why the dog won't even come near me. (Just kidding, I did remember to take the shower too, I think I slept through it.)

Either tonight or tomorrow, depends if the papers come in, I have to go in for a few hours (not a whole shift) so I can get training on some once a month paperwork that will be my responsibility to get done.

Things are going well on the homefront for now. H is being really nice and attentive. Another up for the R, for now. As we have seen in the past, it usually has a down. So, enjoy the ups when you have them and ride the downs the best you can.

I think my gift to him will help to put a couple of deposits into the bank. He has been asking for the DVD set for over a year. (it is eighty dollars, ouch). Since I've put in so many hours working, I decided to get it for him.

I think things will start improving soon in the finance area. He is starting to realize that I am supportive of his wanting to change jobs, but we do need to meet our obligations, so it it looks like he is going to take the next job offered to him from the union, and he will do the other one part time for now. (I think. He has not said so, but he has been checking the union jobline more than he used to.

So far, I like working in the nursing home, the people I work with are great.

I still have to wrap christmas presents, bake cookies, and go grocery shopping. (I'm guessing the cookies will not get baked and the wrapping will be finished by Christmas eve night. I am usually so much more on top of it. I told H, that he could not help wrap unless I'm there, because he present is there.

I cannot find the Christmas CD I want. I want one with all the songs I grew up with, sung by people like Perry Como, Andy Williams, Bing Crosby, you know the singers with the great voices of the past. Brings back memories. I like some of the new ones, but there is something to be said for the oldies.

I have to laugh at how our bodies adjust to changes.

The last week, I have been working 3rd shift, going to my other job for first shift, and sleeping from about 4 or 5 until 9 or 10.

I got enough sleep last night, but I want to go to sleep now. I think I've gotten used to sleeping at this time of night. I will adjust back just in time to go back to the other hours.

I start my official weekend alone this Friday/Saturday.

Sue, I have exactly one suggestion for you:

- Buy the cookie dough that you slice and bake.

Well, okay, two suggestions.

- Buy the premade frosting and sparkly things to put on top.

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> Have a wonderful holiday!

Just J,

I just might do that, or I will do what I did last year. (I went to the backery and bought some). Of course there is always my sister. She bakes cookies for a good 2-3 weeks before Christmas. She makes a plate up for everyone and gives them out as gifts. I love it, and I usually put it out for everyone to enjoy. (Since I do this, I get two plates)