The job is in a hospital, it is a day/evening position. The manager of the unit said mostly days. My sisters said they would do their best to help. I'm sure I can get my MIL to help in the early afternoons before she leaves for work. I will have to talk to her about it.

I want to talk to him in person, as of late, we hardly cross paths, and when we do, I'm usually sleeping. Besides, everyone here has some sort of cold type virus except for one of my kids. This is making everyone very tired.

I'm hoping this job will pay enough that I can keep the house myself. If not, then I will have to do what I have to do and move the kids to an apartment if he refuses to end the affair to my satisfaction.

You can do this.Look at me.
If I can live on my own anyone can.

You may be luckier than me and you moving may be the thing that changes him.

Hi,

Been way too busy, I have not been out here much.

A letter to my WH is in process of being written. I thougth about telling him personally, and decided I wanted to give him a letter. He cannot argue or lie to a letter.

I thought about you this morning, and was going to post to you today anyway, no matter what.

So, what's going to be in this letter?

Where are you, besides buried with things to do?

How are all the kids?

How about the kids mom? How is she doing?

Forgive me for asking - because I know you have plenty to keep you busy, but we all want to know.

SS

The letter is going to pretty much outline where I am at in this marriage and what I expect him to do if he expects me to stay in this marriage. Right now, it is at a point where I can walk away if I have to, and I still have something in me to give to make it work.

Kids are fine, enjoying hockey, looking forward to Christmas as all kids do.

Mom, as usual does too much, so has little time for other stuff. I just worked a double shift, at the time I volunteered for it, it sounded like a good idea, the close it came to working it, I kept asking myself "what was I thinking?" I know, christmas, car repair, etc.

Right now, I have to pay bills, so gotta go

Hey Sue
It was great hearing from you,hang in there.I'm also getting to the point of being able to walk away,after all I really dont have a marrigae any way right??

Take care <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Hi Sue,
Good to hear from you, even if it is the readers digest condensed version. (hope that's not a DJ, just wanted you to know we miss you.) <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />


The letter is going to pretty much outline where I am at in this marriage and what I expect him to do if he expects me to stay in this marriage. Right now, it is at a point where I can walk away if I have to, and I still have something in me to give to make it work.

I was glad to hear you say you still have something to give. I keep wondering WHAT IN THE WORLD HE IS DOING - HE SHOULD BE HELPING !!

Kids are fine, enjoying hockey, looking forward to Christmas as all kids do.

So, do you look foreward to the games, or is it all you can do to get your self to go? That would tell us a lot.

Mom, as usual does too much, so has little time for other stuff. I just worked a double shift, at the time I volunteered for it, it sounded like a good idea, the close it came to working it, I kept asking myself "what was I thinking?" I know, christmas, car repair, etc.

Money helps, shoot, we all know we have to pay the bills, but ohhhhh for some time. Maybe I'll get you a 5 Gal bucket of "spare time" at Home Depot, I hear they they have it on a Christmas sale. Look for it in the mail.


Right now, I have to pay bills, so gotta go Well, OK, sounds like fun -

OK, I am leaning on you a little to hard, please forgive me. It's hard to read between the lines when there are only a few short lines. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

I hope your support system is holding up well. Sounds like work is not slowing down any. You do sound like you are coping well - and mostly in control of your world. Still praying for you.

You better be having some good days too -

SS

I love going to the kids games. I missed one, because I needed to sleep before work. I didnt' get to sleep like I wanted before hand, so I had to sleep and miss the game. Sometimes decisons have to be made that are less than perfect.

Support network is still there. I have a good one right now.

WH is helping a friend with some work on his mom's house. He told me today that tomorrow, he was going to stay there the night. He also said he wanted to take one of the boys with. That helps to ease some of the questioning. Initally, my first thought, was, "are you really going to be where you say you are". When he said he was planning on taking one of the boys with, well, all questions are now gone. Especially since he plans on taking the oldest. He is a black and white kid, and is not easily swayed to follow the crowd or cover for others when something wrong.

WH has been acting weird. I cannot describe it. I think you all know what I mean, different, not different like with the Affair different, but different like he is worried or something. I cannot pinpoint it.

He has been going back and forth between here and his dads. He knows I don't like him being at his dads (or is he at his dads). His dad does not have a phone.

Well, he went to leave, and I made the comment (it was not intentional, it just slipped out), "yeah, I suppose you had better be getting home". Well, he looked at me and said "what do you mean home, this is my home".

Another time, there was the lack of sex conversation. He started it, and I commented "well, you have not been here, so I have no choice but to go without". He replied, "and you think it is different for me?" I just looked at him and kept doing what I was doing at the time. I had no reply.

Maybe I am giving him reason to be worried. I don't let it upset me anymore. I go about my life and do what makes me happy.

On the plus side, I lost 3 more pounds, for a total of 25 pounds since I started this job. The down side, it is all in the legs and backside. If I don't find time for some real exercise, I'm going to look pretty off balance with a small backside and a larger front. (just kidding). I think it all starts to proportion itself out. I have about 45 - 55 more to go. I will decide when I get to the size I want to be if I need to lose 10 more or not

<small>[ December 05, 2004, 08:23 AM: Message edited by: SwH ]</small>

Hi Sue,


WH has been acting weird.

So, does that supprise you? I mean, he is a guy, isn't he?

Oh, you don't mean that kind of weird.


I cannot describe it. I think you all know what I mean, different, not different like with the Affair different, but different like he is worried or something. I cannot pinpoint it.

You are from Venus, and he can't figure you out. He probably is worried. We give off signs by our body langue and posture that show our state of mind. He is probably picking up on your attitide. That one that says "I will do whatever I think is best, I don't care any more."

He has been going back and forth between here and his dads. He knows I don't like him being at his dads (or is he at his dads). His dad does not have a phone. [b/]

Why does he need to stay there?


[b] Well, he went to leave, and I made the comment (it was not intentional, it just slipped out), "yeah, I suppose you had better be getting home". Well, he looked at me and said "what do you mean home, this is my home".

Not intentional - unless Freud was right, and this sounds like one of those cases. You can't fool us.

Another time, there was the lack of sex conversation. He started it, and I commented "well, you have not been here, so I have no choice but to go without". He replied, "and you think it is different for me?" I just looked at him and kept doing what I was doing at the time. I had no reply.

Did you work anything out, or just verbally joust?

We used to do that, but now we tend to do a better job of helping each other.


Maybe I am giving him reason to be worried. I don't let it upset me anymore. I go about my life and do what makes me happy.

Tell him why - he needs to know.


On the plus side, I lost 3 more pounds, for a total of 25 pounds since I started this job. The down side, it is all in the legs and backside. If I don't find time for some real exercise, I'm going to look pretty off balance with a small backside and a larger front. (just kidding). I think it all starts to proportion itself out. I have about 45 - 55 more to go. I will decide when I get to the size I want to be if I need to lose 10 more or not

Not Fair !!

I think I am starting my holiday gain already. W keeps making stuff I really like. Agahhhhh, not fair.

You sound tired, but mostly in control.
I'll take that as a good thing. Tell me if I'm off, so I can re-read between the lines. Sometimes that fine print is hard to see.

SS

<small>[ December 13, 2004, 11:31 PM: Message edited by: still seeking ]</small>

I would bump this up, but If Sue doesn't want to come that is her business. I'll just take my keyboard, and leave right now

SS

Hello everyone,
Sue called me this morning wanted me to post to all that her computer has crashed and she does not know when she will be back online.
She said to tell everyone she is doing fine and to have a very Merry Christmas.

I will add she sounded great!!!!!!!!!!

Ginger - thanks for posting for me

right now I am on a borrowed laptop. How long I will have access to it I don't know.

I will ask Ginger to update for me when I can't. Hopefully it won't be too long before I am up and running again. I think I know the problem. A friend of WH's is goig to help get it going.

Is WH still WH, I don't know, but today is our anniversary, did not do much as far as celebrating goes, WH had to coach Hockey this morning, I have to work tonight, so with that being said, we went to breakfast with the kids, WH took oldest and bought me a huge box of chocolate and the nicest card he ever bought me. I hope he meant what the card said.

The other day, I laid it on the line as far as me not trusting him and wondering if he was spending money on her, let him know how it hurt me knowing there were times I went without and could not figure out why with the income we make that we were having money problems. I told that I did not like it when I found out that the reason I worked two jobs was to support his affiar. As usual, he tried to defend himself, but he heard me out. He had never listened to me before, I think he did this time.

I honestly do not know if the affair is still ongoing, he never answered me when I told him that I wanted him to tell me that it was over. So, for that reason, I believe it is still going on. At least he is not trying to blatantly lie to me, but deceit by ommission is still deceit.

Gotta go - wil update when I can. Otherwise, I will ask Ginger to let you know I am doing fine

Oh, and other than tired from working the night shift, I do feel great

Hi Sue -
You know I was kidding, right?

Good to hear from you, I hope you have a nice Christmas - I suspect if the kids are happy, that mom will be happy. May it be that way.

SS

so far the computer is up and running, found a virus that shut the computer down.

Not much to say right now, mostly tired from working the night shift.

I'm going to bed now. I just wanted to let you i'm around

Wow...I am new to MB, but went back are read your original thread. Kudos to you! You are one heck of a strong woman. I think your H really loves you, just doesn't know how and in the long run will be to his loss should he not learn soon.

BS 47
FWH 44
DOM 013082
DD 112304
S 21
D 15

Hi Holiday and welcome

Sorry you are here, like the rest of us.

And I could not agree with you more about it, that if he does not figure it out it will be his loss.

*********edited by JustUss*********

iinfidelity,

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<small>[ January 03, 2005, 09:16 PM: Message edited by: Justuss ]</small>

Sue,
How are you?

And you know what I mean when I ask that.

SS