I think GQ is a better place right now. I'm not sure if we are in recovery or not. FWH is going through a rough time right now.

Look for me there

Only bad thing about GQ2 is that threads disapear so quickly.

It's good that your H finally came clean. I know you will continue to have up's and down's, but still hope you find the happiness you are looking for.

The job stress must be high now, even though you probably have a better income. It would be tough to know they could cancel your days off with almost no notice.

I kind of think back about things you have said over the years, and how you have done. I know you struggled with smoking, weight gain, and other things common to many of us. I keep praying that you will reach your goals, and become that person you wish to be.

I know it's tough even with a spouse that helps, but it can be a nightmare when you don't get the support you need. I have so much respect for what you have done. Keep it up.

SS

Hi

Still hanging around, emotionally, we are both a wreck. Rigth now, I am trying to keep myself under control, but right now, it does not matter what I say, he takes it totally out of context.

I have an interview lined up for next tuesday and another prospect called and left a message. It would be nice if one of them payed off.

So, tell us why you are both wrecks. I can see you being one, because of the stresses of the last three years, but why him?

Hope the kids are OK.

SS

He feels guilty about the affair, cannot understand why I want to try to work through it, thinks the kids and I would be better off without him around, stuff like that

I have two interviews today. About to leave for one of them. Cross your fingers for me

Hey Sue
Have not heard from you in a while give me a call ok.
Best of luck at the interview,Ill be praying for you.

Fingers crossed,
would do the toes also, but I have never been that cordinated.

It's good that he finally feels some sorrow. I take that as a good thing. Rumor has it that if you hit him with a big enough frying pan, he'll come out of it.

SS

Update,

I got the job, it keeps me quite busy. Pay is better, hours are better. I am going to ask if I can start earlier when school starts. Babygirl is going into another dance class and I need to leave work at least a 1/2 hour earlyier than I do now. I think they will do it. My supevisor is just a kid compared to me. But he is cute in how he interacts with everyone. Does not have the attitude that I have experienced in the past with the whole, I am the manager and you are the little guys for me to torment.

I think I might stay at this job. We will see what happens after I get some time under by belt.

WH, I think he is back to being a WH. Not really sure though. It is hard to tell this time. He is talking the right talk as far as family goes, but as far as being a husband, well, wishy washy. He is actually doing the school supply shopping. He never did that before.

SS, I just came back from a weekend in Las Vegas. I really did not want to go on this trip. Originally it started out as WH and I planning a week trip for just the two of us (no place decided yet, but it was origiannly a cruise in the talking phase). Next thing Iknow he is planning a trip to Vegas with his dad, and I was going too. If I didn't like it, then I could stay home. (Oh, yeah, just what I wanted, I trip with my father-in-law).

Well, my job (the last one) approved all my days that I requested for vacation except for one day. So, how coudl I go on a trip if I am expected back for one day. Well, after this, the job I interviewed for, offered me the job, and I had to start a week and 1/2 before the planned trip.

Since, we did not yet pay for my ticket, we decided not to risk this job and I was not going to go. Then WH asked if I wanted to come out for the weekend, so I did.

It was fun, but he has been distant lately. He does all the right stuff, as far as buying me clothes I need for work, shoes at the outlet store in Vegas, taking me out to a nice dinner while were were there, he spent most of the time with me. But he is not there. I don't know where he is, even when is is with us.

He is different. When the affair was in full bloom, He was different than he is now. I cannot explain it. I don't know how to explain it. It is different. It is like he is attached and at the same time unattached.

it is weird.

Looks like I was in Vegas a day after you left.

You should say something next time.

So, he is there, but not there.

Better but still needs work.

I often wish I could help with WH's, but there is not much I can do for HIM.

What I want to know, is how is SWH.

She seems better, less stressed, but I want to hear her talk about it.

SS

SS,

I know It has been a very long time. Job is keeping me busy. Some days I don't get home until late. Like today. I was working until 8:30pm, most days I get off at a decent time. Kids hockey is keeping us busy, along with daughters dance.

How are u doing

Ginger has my e-mail address if you want to e-mail me - you can. Tell ginger to give the comcast one, I hardley check the other one.

SwH,

OMG! I seriously thought you were never going to come back! But I'm so glad to see you! I haven't posted to you in a LONG time (mainly because I don't know if I have any practical advice)....but I kept up with you. I always felt a very strong 'wish' for you to find personal happiness...something which always seemed to be confounded by your H's actions, A's, and presence.

Anyhow, just wanted to let you know that i still hope the same happiness for you. And everytime I come to the board, i look for and think of you.

Best of wishes, Sue

I am leaving for a business trip, and won't be back until mid week. I'll ask Ginger, and write to you.

Been wondering how you are.

SS

I have a question. If your daughter came up to you and told you her husband had been treating her the same way yours has, what would you say to her? I am not trying to attack you just point on the obvious. Its sad that you use your kids as an excuse to stay married to a serial cheater. They might not know about it now but eventually they will be older and figure it out for themselves and then you will have to explain to your daughter why mommy stayed and why in the same situation she shouldn't. Your smart and successful and I think you deserve better. Good luck and I hope you can stop the enabling. Oh and recent studies show that staying for the kids is not a good idea. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

Before you start ripping into me as you have any other person that has challenged you maybe you should remember that most of us are sharing the same boat. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />

SS,

Just wanted to drop a line and tell ou that all is okay. I planted a bunch of tomato plants, I'm going to give my hand at canning this year.
wichs me luck. My strawberries have a ton this year. I home they are good this year.

All is OK?

Listen sister, you had better be telling me the truth. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

I have so many questions.

You can guess what they are, so maybe you can just type out the answers and save me asking.

Job
Kids
H?

You know, the whole list.

Thanks though, I do wonder.

We have 30 tomato plants this year, but usually half of them don't make it. We'll see.

See ya around. Don't be gone too long.

SS

WOW 30 plants, I don't have that many. Now I'm wondering if I don't have enough. I guess there is the Farmers market

Job - I love the job, even though the hours are long. I keep wondering if it is me or if it is the job. I've noticed it is all the same people staying late and all the same ones leaving on time.

Kids

Well, Since the oldest is 12, what does that tell you. I dont' recall teen years being so up and down. One day we all hate him and the next he is happy as a clam. We changed his school, his attitude improved after that, grade - yet to be seen. He is more cooperative over homework, even though we still saw some issues that we had at his old school, such as lack of motivation, missing homework. They were very willing to work with him.

Middle child is 11, and is just starting the attitude problem.

Youngest - She just had her dance recital, she looked so pretty, and she tried very hard. No activities for any of the kids this summer except them hanging out.

H is laid off again. I'm hoping things will start improving within the next year.

I'm not sure how things are with us. Better in some ways, and in others, well, it is not where I would like it to be.

We are getting along better, and he keeps discussing family plans, and suggesting family activities, such as a couple of weeks ago we played tennis as a family (if you call what we played as tennis (it was fun)).

Other than that, I'm not sure how things are. Is H being faithful? I don't know, I have not been looking. I don't want to. What do I think? I don't believe he is. I'm thinking he does not have the ability to be faithful.

What I believe is that he is so insecure, that he always has to have someone on the side, so he will never be alone. I don't believe anything I do will make a difference and he will always have an excuse to justify his behavior. I don't believe it has anything to do with me. I came to this conclusion becuase H's mom told me that he cheated on his first wife J. After they were divorced, and I was PG with oldest, I took one of H's old shirts and was wearing it. He said to me "what are you wearing that for, J always wore that" His tone was like it was sacred or something. I almost walked out on him then. I should have. After that all I heard was J this, J that. How smart J is. When we met, I asked him why things did not work between him and J. He said it was because they married too young. She just turned 18 and he was 19. He said they grew apart. She was wrapped up in pursuing her education, and he wanted to have fun He said they both changed and did not have much in common and she wanted to go out East for school and did not want him to go with. She told him that she was going to file for divorce after she was there long enough to estabilish residency. It was in the last year or two, H's mom told me that he cheated on J.

Right now I'm at a point where I don't know if I want to try to make it work or not. I know I've been in this place in my life before. It does not help that I am very busy between work and home that I don't really think about what I want.

He still takes care of his dad, this is going on 2 years. Which I pointed out to him. I also pointed out that I believe he likes it this way. He can have it both ways, family and free and single. This is not what I want.

I know there are those who will read this and tell me I have choices. Yes I do, and I made mine. I know I can also change my mind in the future if I want to or if the situation changes.

Do you feel you are doing better than you were a year ago?

I mean besides your job?

You love your children, you like a home with a mom, and a dad.
Much has been sacrificed to keep things as they are.......... for the kids?

I don't claim to kmow what is best. However, I worry about the long term affects of you living like you are now.

Mothers can have much happiness when their children succeed. You'll be the best mom you can be. You'll love them, and help them. You'll joy in their marriages, and in the grandchildren when they come. But....... you want a full partnership, not a limited partnership. I think I know what must be in your heart.

Think on it, pray about it. Ask God to lead you. Don't give up. Never, never, never give up.

Thanks for the update. You are important, never forget that.

SS

SS/Ginger

Ginger, if you come here still, its been a while - e-mail me please

SS, yes, I know it has been awhile since I've been here.

Things are going okay, nothing new or exciting, new hockey season starting.

H, appears to be more attentive, but have doubts, I will for a long time. OW, have not idea if she is around or not. Found out H has myspace page, he says he is single, no kids, does not want kid. What a fool, like I would not find that. That was easy to find. Well, guess what, he has wife and 3 kids, 2 dogs and a cat

Sue --
I'd post a comment on his myspace about being his wife, and how could he forget his 3 kids?
Just bust him for the fun of it. Yuck.

It crossed my mind, I have not been on myspace to figure it out, unless I create a page of my own and indicate his to being my spouse

Do you know much about it?