Kamara -

You just have to hang in there and take care of yourself. I had a big blowout with WH tonight. I told him I am tired of our marriage being dishonored by him and OW. It got really ugly with lots of LBs on my part. I guess I just fell off the MB wagon.

Even though it does not seem like it, your WH is probably feeling very badly. Do not give up. Get on with your life.

Believer -

I, too, am falling off the MB wagon. Just kind-of in slow motion. It was so cruel that WH made me sit through an awards ceremony with OW. Horrible. What can he be not thinking??? How can someone remember to eat or breath with that little brain left?

Why would I want to be with someone capable of this horror??? Amy

Amy, I am so sorry for you! I should also ask myself this question - why should i want to be with somebody who left me in such a hard situation?
Believer, yes, I am sure my h is feeling very badly. He said to me that he was suffering and in a lot of pain but... But what? I didn't ask him what. I think it is only the beginning for him. I will be all the time between him and his OW. And he definitely doesn't want people to know about what he is doing, he says to me all the time - if you come here, I will move out and everybody will know about it. So what? I am not doing anything. I will get a lot of support from everybody and he will not look like a hero.
He always talks about being a scoundrel and that people and God will punish him for that. He difinitely doesn't want to be a scoundrel! Otherwise he wouldn't have talked about it. I wonder how long he will play the role of a scoundrel? It looks like OW bewitched him!

Yep, that is what it seems like. He is bewitched. At least he knows he is a scoundrel. My WH feels sorry for himself and says he needs my support. I told him I cannot support him any longer. Go to her for support.

GOOD LORD! Maybe I started the trend. All of us are falling apart. That's crazy. Everyone calm down... have some orange juice. Do some jumping jax... take a warm shower and post back <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

HUH GIRLS?!!!! I love you guys!!!

We all have so much love to give, we all have so much pain inside, but you know what? OUr love is still there and we must love all around us and those who cherish that love. So.. big hugs to you guys. WHen I was falling apart the last two days, you guys held me through.

Don't you guys fall apart! It's ok to have bad days.. this is just a bad day .. huh girls?

"Quand t'aurai ta place FONCE..IL FAUT BRISE LA GLACE... et surtout rester SURE de toi!"

"When you have the chance jump. You have to break the glass and make sure you stay confident."

MMUUAWH!!!

Brown Eyes - Destiny's Child

Remember the first day when I saw your face
remember the first day when you smiled at me
you stepped to me and you said to me
I was the woman you dreamed about
remember the first day when you called my house
remember the first day when you took me out
we had butterflies although we tried to hide
and we both had a beautiful night

The way we held each others hand
the way we talked the way we laughed
it felt so good to find true love
I knew right then and there you were the one

I know that he loves me cause he told me so
I know that he loves me cause his feelings show
when he stares at me you know that he cares for me
you see how he is so deep in love
I know that he loves me cause its obvious
I know that he loves me cause it's me he trusts
and he's missing me if he's not kissing me
and when he looks at me his brown eyes tells his soul

Remember the first day, the first day we kissed
remember the first day we had an argument
we apologized and then we compromised
and we haven't argued since
remember the first day we stopped playing games
remember the first day you fell in love with me
it felt so good for you to say those words
cause I felt the same way too

The way we held each others hand
the way we talked the way we laughed
it felt so good to fall in love
and I knew right then and there you were the one

I know that he loves me cause he told me so
I know that he loves me cause his feelings show
when he stares at me you know that he cares for me
you see how he is so deep in love
I know that he loves me cause its obvious
I know that he loves me cause it's me he trusts
and he's missing me if he's not kissing me
and when he looks at me his brown eyes tells his soul

i'm so happy so happy that you're in my life
and baby now that you're a part of me
you showed me
showed me the meaning of true love
and i know he loves me

I know that he loves me cause he told me so
I know that he loves me cause his feelings show
when he stares at me you know that he cares for me
you see how he is so deep in love
I know that he loves me cause its obvious
I know that he loves me cause it's me he trusts
and he's missing me if he's not kissing me
and when he looks at me his brown eyes tells his soul

He looks at me and his brown eyes tell his soul


My love isn't like that anymore. I thought it could be stronger with this blow, but no. My husband doesn't love me the way I love him. It's ok. NO TEARS! I am still smiling and remembering the good days. And the bad is very apparent... but that's ok. That is life. I am accepting!!!!!!!! OMG.. I thought this day would never come!

OK, Kamara. I am doing what I keep telling you to do. I am pulling myself up by my bootstraps.

Or, in my case, my Birkenstock straps. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

I need to get my head back on straight.

Believer, I do not know how you have managed to stay on this ride for this long. Just looking at her and having her speak to me last night was horrible. I couldn't imagine the pain and emotions brought up by actually catching them in the act.

You deserve sainthood. Now that Mother Teresa is gone, who is in charge of coordinating that? I need to make some calls, apparently.

I wonder if it will be cheaper to have Harudah make some calls for me from Brussels. I still need to look that place up on the map.

Anyway Kamara, use your humor. It seriously is laugh or cry, you know. Post me a funny story. Or something zany you have done. Or, more challenging, find humor in something incredibly unhumorous.

It is a challenge. I double-dog dare you to make me smile today!!! Sometimes, cheering up others can cheer you up. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Hugs and love, Amy

Girls:
Do you think there is a chance that my husband will change his mind and decide to work on his marriage?
I doubt it more and more. Who would want to work on their marriage with somebody who is having cancer and may pass away any moment? I doubt he would miss me but he may not want to be a scoundrel for the rest of his life! That is my only hope!

I think he will be back. You have been married a long time. I think he is stressed and giving himself a nice little fantasy vacation - the scoundrel!

Thank you for your support, biliever. Meanwhile I called the headquarters of his organization to find out how I will be protected in case of divorce. I can only talk to people who do not know me (a lot of people there do know me and can even recognize my voice). I was unable to reach anybody but have some names of people who would be able to answer my question and I will call them later today or tomorrow. I didn’t give any names – but I am sure the rumor will start spreading around – somebody is about to separate over the OW! People are always interested in such news! And if we legally separate or just separate people will put 2 and 2 together and know who is leaving the wife for the OW! There is no way he could hide from his colleagues the fact that he is a scoundrel! And I will not be the one who has spread the rumor! I just called anonymously to find out about my rights. Every decent person would do that!

Good for you. Please don't feel like you have to protect him. He is the one who is acting poorly.

Be sure to call again and find out. That will give you some peace of mind.

It might, but it will not if they don't deal with it! I just don't want the rumor to spread before I feel we can't reconcile. But if they do some legal provisions for that I will feel much better and secure and will probably be able to talk to him differently!

Bad news, girls!
I am not protected by CA laws since he is not here. I can get a divorce here but not a spouse support. But even if I could get it, the organization he is working for is not withdrawing anyting from their employees paycheck! I just talked to an administrative director. I am at my husband's mercy! It is hard to be at the mercy of a scoundrel! God, I am ruined, I have lost everything!

<small>[ February 24, 2004, 06:57 PM: Message edited by: Kamara ]</small>

No you have not lost everything. You can still not divorce your H. I think he will still support you, because he does not want to be a scoundrel.

Also you can apply for social security disability if you have ever worked here.

If that does not work, you can get Medi-Cal.

Sorry you are going through all of this, but you do have options. Hang in there, girl.

Kamara,

Did you hear this: When a door is shot, GOD will open another one for you. hang in there. Believer's advice is good.

Yes, i did work in this country. That's good advice. Thank you. No matter what my husband may decide I need to know that I can live without him. The problem is that it is very hard to get SS disabilty for cancer. Only if my doctor states that my cancer is terminal. But anyway, I should try and get it and Medical. We have dicussed it with my mother and she agreed to it!

Kamara -

See, things are looking up already. Much more information and options that you thought you had. And we are right here with you, all the way.

Hang tight. You can do this. You are one strong lady. Given a bit more time, you will see in yourself what we can all see in you right now.

You are powerful. Hugs, Amy

What is happening my dear? Luckily you are not down here now. We are having a huge storm and it has been blowing and raining like crazy.

I am bad, had another terrible night. Things don't get better. We also had a storm.

Seems like lots of members here are having a bad time lately. Hang in there.

It is still pouring down rain and blowing here. The weather kind of fits my mood.

((((((HUGS)))))